24Oct/15

Friends Forever…

What exactly does this mean?

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This is a picture of my first friends..my neighborhood friends. There were a few more that aren’t on this picture like my friend, Jan who lived in the house pictured behind us. Two of the kids in the picture are no longer with us, one is my sister Rhonda on the far left and Judy, on the far right, who has also passed. It makes me happy and sad at the same time looking at this picture.

When I was in Brownies we used to sing a song called “Make New Friends”. I never forgot it. My grand daughter told me they still sing it at her girl scout meetings. For anyone who wasn’t in Brownies or Girl Scouts it goes like this. “Make new friends, but keep thee old…One is silver and the other’s gold.” I believe this to be very true. There are many different kinds of friends. Some of them are Silver and some are pure Gold..

I have made many friends over my time here on earth and I am blessed with some of the most wonderful people that I call my friends. But there have also been people that came into my life at different times and they are no longer in my life. I’ve had quite a collection of awesome friends at many of the jobs I have had in my working career. They seemed to come in to my life when I needed them and we had so many things in common and then when I left the job and moved on so did the friendships. I don’t know why this happens and sometimes we really try to keep those friendships going but life seems to get in the way.

I have recently found a few people from my past. Friends from long ago, granted we were different people then but as soon as we talked, it was like yesterday and no time had passed at all. I also have reconnected with some of my friends from high school and I seriously don’t know what I would do without them. We are all going through the same things at the same time. Losing parents, taking care of parents, grandchildren, health issues and so many other things. Sometimes, after a conversation about health issues we laugh at ourselves and say, “who would have thought we’d be talking about this.”  But we have a bond, a connection and we can talk about many things we can’t talk about to anyone else.  These friendships have sustained me through some very dark times recently.

I have friends that live near by and friends that have moved many miles away. One of my best friends just moved a thousand miles away and it makes me sad not to be able to pick up the phone and say, lets meet for lunch today. But we are still the best of friends and always will be. There is no doubt in my mind of that. A few thousand miles can not take away the friendship we have and another reason is…she knows too much… What is a true friend and how do you know it will pass the test of time? I’ll tell you..When you are puking your guts out after a long happy hour (this isn’t for just a few minutes, more like hours) and they aren’t angry at you, in fact they are holding your hair so it doesn’t get puke on it…then you know you have a lifetime friend.

So people may come and go in your life. Some people may be friends for a short time and some for a lifetime. And some people are just friends on Facebook. It doesn’t make them any less a friend. Our lives are better for having them in it. I know I am blessed to have these people I call friends in my life and hopefully they feel the same.  I love them all and am grateful every single day that they are on this journey with me. They are Gold! I hope they know that.

“There comes a point in your life when you realize who really matters, who never did, and who always will.” – Unknown

15Oct/15

Ten Reasons Growing Older Rocks!!

“Old age isn’t so bad when you consider the alternative” Maurice Chevalier

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It’s been said “youth is wasted on the young”, but I couldn’t find who really said it. Some sources say George Bernard Shaw and others attribute it to Oscar Wilde and neither of their quotes are the same. Anyway, the meaning of this is, when you are young you don’t really appreciate it. You are young in body and mind and think you will live forever. Not until you reach a certain age do you fully appreciate what you have. And considering “the alternative” as stated so eloquently by Maurice above, here are my top ten reasons growing older rocks.

1. Best thing ever…Senior Discounts…these are awesome….and you don’t even know most of them even exist. Don’t feel bad about asking for them, we’ve earned them…and more.

2. Younger people excuse you(most of the time anyway) when you say or do something stupid. Because of course, we’re old and don’t know any better… Not that I ever say or do something stupid.

3. People think we know everything about everything!  I guess because we are old and have lived though so much, we must have good advice. The flip side to this is, when some people don’t take the advice we give them… I guess we shouldn’t waste our breath, who knows how many of them we have left.

4. We don’t have to worry or stress about the big choices in life anymore. Like what career choices to make or if we should or shouldn’t have kids.  Most of the big choices have been made by us or for us. We are past that point now and can do what we want. We can work if we choose to work and do what we love to do instead of working to make a paycheck. And at least in my case there are no more kids going to be happening any time soon. Maybe a dog or cat…but that’s it.

5. It is a time in our lives when we truly have learned that looks can only get you so far. It’s not on the outside, it’s what’s inside that matters. So this means we can dress for us and for comfort. I do like to be fashionable, just not every day. If I want to lunge around in my sweats all day, I will.  And no more 4 inch heels for me. I killed my poor feet for far too long.

6. Our relationships with friends and family are real. I think we have come to the point where we have lost so many people and know that we only have so many more years left so the relationships we have in our lives now are the ones we want to be there. So we make time for them and cherish each moment we spend with them. When we were younger, our friends were all going through the having kids thing, the moving for careers thing and various other reasons why we didn’t have time or were in different places in our lives. Now we are for the most part at the same place and we have the time. When we are with family members now, there is an awareness that the time we are spending together is special.

7. The most fun thing ever is that we have time to be with our grandkids, to enjoy them, take them places and then send them home to their parents. Having grandkids is a lot like having kids only so much better because we don’t have the responsibilities we had with our kids. It is not on us to make them come out right. So we can just enjoy them.

8. We can do things we want to now, not because we have to. I have started writing at the age of 65. It is something I always wanted to do. Something I dreamed of doing, but just never seemed to have the time. I wrote as a teenager and then again in my late 20’s but then somehow just never started back up again. But I never lost the desire or the dream. It is never too late and we are never too old!

9. Naps! We can take naps and we can sleep in or go to bed early. There is no alarm waking us up for work. Getting up when I want to get up is the best feeling in the world. Getting up at all is even better.

10. I don’t have to be anywhere on anyone’s schedule but mine. If I want to spend the whole day reading, watching tv or on Facebook, I can do that. I sometimes feel guilty and then I stop and think about it, I deserve this, I earned the right to do what I want when I want. So I do!

These are my top ten. I’m sure I can think of more. I will end with this quote from Bernard Baruch, “To me, old age is always fifteen years older than I am”. I feel the same way.

Are you enjoying getting older? What are some of the reasons you enjoy it?

01Oct/15

Ten Reasons Growing Older Sucks…

No one told me it would be like this!

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This was me, back in the early 80’s..having fun, dancing with friends. Now some 30 years later I’m old…how did this happen? I don’t like it and why didn’t anyone tell me it would be like this?

Here are my top ten reasons why I don’t like it.

1. I have things growing that were not there before and other things that were there falling off or are hardly there.

2. Hair in places where it never was before and where it is supposed to be, there isn’t any(like eyebrows..you thought I meant somewhere else, ha!) And when I say hairs growing where they shouldn’t be I don’t just mean a little hair..I mean, like a foot long hair growing on my chin…and it’s there for days and no one mentioned it. WTH?

3. Losing so many people I care about. I have lost so many people and I am the only one left of my immediate family. This really sucks. I remember my Mom talking about losing so many of her friends and her family and how it affected her, but I didn’t realize what it was like until it happened to me.

4. Dealing with endless long, very long(some have been over an hour, and that isn’t even including the time on hold) phone calls and written info from Medicare, Social Security and health care organizations. Why do I have to pay for something I don’t use? Why isn’t there a better plan for people that aren’t sick and don’t take drugs or medications? I have been dealing with all of this for months and still don’t have answers. It sucks!

5. How time goes by so fast. I remember wanting to be 13, then 16 and 21. I wished so much time away wanting to be older and now it is zooming by faster than the speed of light. Each year goes by faster than the one before.

6. It sucks that I may not get to do all of the things on my bucket list. Not that I can’t, just that time may run out.

7. I hate I can’t remember the name of simple things…like maybe a fork, but I can remember someones daughters name from 40 years ago. And I am hoping and praying that I don’t forget everything and everyone one day in the future.

8. I have more spots on my body than a dalmatian. Also little lumps and bumps appear daily when I look in the mirror and with each new one I think…this is it! This is the one that will do me in…

9. I hate that I may never know the feeling of falling in love again. And that my last love really was my last love. If I would have known that at the time would I have done things differently? Believe me, I am quite happy by myself…it’s just something I think about. Its so final!

10. And last, I hate that my friends and I have turned into our parents. We were sitting at dinner not too long ago and the conversation was about who was on what medication and the tests they just had at the doctors. We talked about what foods bother our stomachs and where we can use our senior discounts. I said, “ok, that’s enough of this…lets talk about fun things”. We laughed ourselves silly when we realized what we sounded like.

It sucks that we are not the hot new thing anymore. To some we aren’t even relevant and they don’t care what we think or have to say or want to listen to our sage advice. But we have a lot to say and a lot to offer those that want to hear it. Lets use our time we have left to enjoy life and show those young whippersnappers what we can do. Our generation changed the world once, let’s do it again.

What do you hate about growing old(er)?

By the way..next week’s blog topic is, Top Ten Things I “love” about growing older…

 

 

21Sep/15

Remembering Grandma

All 3 of them…

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I was extremely blessed to have two wonderful Grandmothers. Actually if you count my ex-husbands Nan, I had three. They were all special in different ways and have helped make me the person I am today. I learned a lot from these strong women and I hope I have passed some of it along to my kids and grandkids.

I remember cold winter nights sleeping at my Mom’s mother’s house. Before we could do anything, we had to go into the basement to put coal in the furnace so we wouldn’t freeze. It always amazed me that we had to do this because we just turned our heat on with a thermostat at our house. She would let me shovel the coal but I wasn’t allowed to put it in the furnace and had to stand back while she did it.

I have so many memories of her house and the people who lived there. My Grandfather and my Aunt and Uncle and their son all lived there together. I always thought that was so cool. And now my son, his wife and kids live right behind my house. And that is very cool.

But my best memories of her are the ones where I spent the night with her. After the feeding the furnace… and us, we headed upstairs to her bedroom. She would always stop and let me go in my Grandfathers room. He had passed but his room was still there and all of his books were lined on the many shelves. I loved the smell of that room and I think that is where my love of books started. Then we would go to her room and climb in the big warm bed and cover up with her many quilts. After saying our prayers we would lie awake for what seemed like hours with her telling me stories of her youth and what life was like back then. I can still feel the warmth from the furnace and the smell of her perfume. I loved those nights in my Grandma’s bed.

My Dad’s mother was a strong outspoken woman. She never held back and said exactly what she thought (maybe this is where I got some of my outspokenness). She ruled the family and even though my Grandfather was a very strong man, he would always defer to Grandma.

The best memories of her are the ones we spent as kids in her kitchen. She would make us wonderful treats and “big people” drinks at her kitchen counter. We thought we were so grownup drinking our creme de menthe drinks she made for us. But even better was when she left us make the treats with her. Making peach pie with her was such an experience, she was never satisfied with the crusts. She would stomp and shout and want to throw it out and start over. We would finally talk into using it and it was as usual the best pie ever. It may not have looked good, but it sure tasted good. In later years when my grandparents moved to Florida, they would come home every summer and not one would go by without us making a peach pie together. I can still smell it baking and have yet to have one that tasted as good as those messy pies we made together.

My third Nan was one of the strongest women I knew at that time. Women just didn’t do or say the things she did. She wasn’t afraid to speak her mind and encouraged me to do the same. I was very young when I married her grandson and she took me under her wing and loved me unconditionally. She taught me so many things about life. I think many of the things I say and do with my grandchildren come from her. We spent many hours just talking and I think it helped for me to have someone like her to talk to and say things I couldn’t say to my Mom. She helped me at a time when I needed someone and I miss her every day.

These three women have shaped my life. All of them, each in a different way. I can only hope to be half the woman they were.

Who helped shape your life? What memories of your Grandma do you have? I hope you have good ones…

10Sep/15

Fall 2015 Fashion Trends

Watch out the 70’s are back…

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We are going to be surrounded by Boho, Fringes, Suede and Leather. I loved the 70’s, really I did..but not sure I can do it again. Ok, maybe some of it. I would really like to see the whole “Peace and Love” thing happen again that’s for sure. But we are here to talk of fashion for Fall 2015. And as for the men: Whether you like it or not Christmas is coming so take note..

1. Colors for Fall 2015 are: Army Green or Sage, Off White, Camel, Burnt Orange and all shades of Brown. Brown is evidently the new black!  For men they are showing lots of grey (shades of grey, maybe)

2. Handbags- Saddlebags, Crossbody bags and Clutches. I for one can never use a clutch, I can’t get all my stuff in one. Ever!!

Here is a cute Saddlebag from Nine West. I really do like these! Not sure but maybe I could get all my stuff in here…

3. Chunky heels – yes, they are back. I’m not a big fan of these however they are better for your feet if you are going to wear heels. I don’t really wear them much anymore except for special occasions. However, I don’t mind a clunky heel on a boot. And while we are talking about boots…

4. Boots, boots, boots – Ankle boots, calf high boots, knee high boots and cowboy boots. All kinds of boots. I love boots and wear them most of the time from Fall thru Spring. I would wear them in the summer if it wasn’t so hot!

My favorite pair of cowboy boots from Ariat..

5. Clothing- 70’s style, boho, fringes, suede, knits(oh no not these again), crocheted vests like this one Ladies Bohemian Beaded Crocheted Camel Color Vest and flared pants. Although they did mention a good white oxford shirt is going to be big this fall. Personally, I didn’t know it ever went out of style. Oh, and I even hesitate to put this in print..turtlenecks..yes, I said it. I really, really dislike turtlenecks.

6. Statement jewelry – Bigs earrings, Chunky necklaces and bracelets. For more beautiful jewelry please check out my website at www.mysilpada.com/renee.stambaugh

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7. Lipstick – Red, Red, Red..all shades of red. Mary Kay has some beautiful ones. Check out my friend Becky’s Mary Kay page. www.mary.com/BeckyGohn

8. Nail color – Plums, blues, copper and all metallics. My favorite nail polish is Essie and here is essie Nail Color, Metallics, Good as Gold for you to check out.

9. Jeans – they are showing flares again and also high waist. Not a fan of either one. I do like a boot cut for when I am wearing boots. But really I like skinny jeans for my knee high boots. The boots fit over the jeans so much better. I am not talking about jeans so skinny they cut off your circulation. My jeans have stretch in them and they really do stretch. Believe me there are times I think they may burst after a big meal.

And last but not least..

10. I know this isn’t a fashion trend, but it is a trend and one I will definitely embrace. Wine in cans – yes you heard me. Who doesn’t love this? My favorite 2015 trend of all!

Happy Fall!!

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03Sep/15

Top Ten Benefits of Coconut Oil

There are actually way more than 10…

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I love Coconut Oil. I love to cook with it, take it everyday by the spoonful or use it as a treatment when I need some TLC for a certain issue. Here are some of my favorite ways to use it and why.

1. Take a spoonful everyday. It has wonderful antibacterial properties. Doing this daily can help with a lot of issues. Candida, kidney stones, liver problems, IBS and other digestive problems. Please consult your Doctor first if you have any serious issues.

2. Put it on your skin everyday. It is a great sunscreen and also very moisturizing. It is also not extremely greasy.

3. Use it for cooking. You can use it just like any vegetable oil. It is more easily digested than other oils and contains the “good” saturated fats the body needs. Because of this it is good for your heart. And it makes some very tasty scrambled eggs.

4. Put it on your feet. It has anti fungal properties so it is good for athletes foot or toe nail fungus.

5. Coconut oil can be a great help when you are trying to lose some weight. If you are craving something, like ice cream(just as a for instance, not saying I ever crave this) take a spoonful of coconut oil instead. For some reason it satisfies the craving. It also helps with digestion, due to its antimicrobial properties, which can also be a help with weight loss.

6. It is a wonderful mouth rinse. It has been shown to prevent cavities and heal gums.  My gums have been healthier since using this and my daughter in law has not had as many cavities as she has had in the past. Just take a little bit and swish it around your mouth for a few minutes and then spit it out. Follow up with some water and spit that out as well. You should do this for at least 10 minutes, but any time you spend doing it is better than not doing it at all.

7. Great as a massage oil for pain. I recently had my back go out so I put some peppermint oil, frankincense oil and coconut oil in a bottle and rubbed it on my back. It really alleviated the pain and helped with the healing of the muscle. And it smelled good too!

8. Coconut oil can be a wonderful stress reliever. Rub some on your forehead if your are feeling stressed out or have a headache.

9. It has recently been shown to help Alzheimers patients. Some studies have shown it has increased brain function and slowed down the process of alzheimers. I don’t know about you but I need all the help I can get with increasing my brain function.

10. Coconut oil is wonderful for your hair and scalp. You can massage some on your scalp and then shampoo as usual. Also put a little on after hair has dried to tame down any frizzies and help with dry hair. It has also been known to help with preventing head lice.

There are a lot of other things coconut oil can do for you. But these are my favorites and ones I have tried and worked for me. If you want to buy some you can click on the jar below. It takes you to Amazon and my favorite brand.

As always I am not a physician, so if you have any serious issues please consult your doctor before trying this.

Thanks for reading and good health!

 

27Aug/15

“It’s Only Rock And Roll”….

but I “love” it…

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I changed The Rolling Stones lyrics a little here but I don’t just “like” music, I love it!  I love all kinds of music. Having just had my “Summer of Concerts” end last night with Motley Crue and Alice Cooper, it got me to thinking about all the concerts I have been to since my very first one in the early 70’s.

I thought I should compile a list of my top ten concerts of all time…in no particular order. I can’t really rate them that way due to the fact they are all so different. I have such a wide range of music likes, from Alternative to Country. So I think depending on where I was and who I was with in my life may have had an affect on what I was into at that specific time.

My Top Ten Concert List:

1. Bon Jovi – it only tops the list because I think I have seen them more than any other band. They were awesome back in the early 2000’s and even up to 2011. 2013 not so much and now without Richie, well don’t think I will be going to see them again. Also memorable was taking my grandson to see them at the 2013 concert. His first concert.

2. The Rolling Stones – early 80’s, was booked as their last tour. Great concert. Journey opened and were booed off the stage. Also George Thorogood and The Delaware Destroyers played too. Don’t ask what happened after the concert was over.

3. Crosby, Stills, Nash and Young –  In the 70’s..during my hippie phase.

4. The Bee Gees- Late 70’s during my disco phase.

5. Queen – early 70’s, my very first concert. Went with my husband, concert was great but about halfway though I told him I was hungry because I smelled BBQ Chicken, he looked at me and said, “um, that is pot”..I was very young and naive.

6. Counting Crows, Blind Melon, The Lemonheads, Gin Blossoms and Toad The Wet Sprocket – the 90’s and I was into “Alternative” big time. Note: I was dating a much younger guy. I still love this music though. My one regret was not ever seeing R.E.M live.

7. Quiet Riot, Scorpions, Poision, Loverboy – 80’s. Saw most of these at City Island, Harrisburg, PA. My significant other at the time loved these bands. Have to admit they were great concerts.

8. James Taylor/Carole King – 2010 Truly one of the best concerts I have ever been to. My youngest daughter and I went to see this. She is a huge fan of JT and I got tickets for her birthday. We were running late and we walked in the door as the concert was just about to start. The lady at the door said, “we’ve been waiting for you”…we laughed and she said “no really, we have. We have a surprise for you, give me your tickets”. We looked at each other and gave her our tickets. She told us to follow that guy over there. We did, we had no idea what was going on. We kept following him and he led us down on the floor…to the very front row. We just looked at each other in amazement and screamed. Our tickets we gave the lady were at the very top row of the Verizon Center. Needless to say a very memorable concert in so many ways.

9. Kid Rock and Foreigner – July 2015 VA Beach. Great show by both bands.

10. Motley Crue and Alice Cooper – last night, August 26, 2015 Baltimore. With 2 of my kids and an awesome show put on by both bands. What more could you ask for?

My life has been filled with music of all genres. My parents played Frank Sinatra and Dean Martin and a little Glenn Miller. In my teens I was into The Temptations, Four Tops and all the music that Dick Clark had on Bandstand. And let’s not forget, The Beatles. I was a true Beatlemaniac. My greatest music regret is never seeing them. We played music all the time when the kids were growing up and I think that is where they developed their love of it.

I love live concerts. There is something about the vibe and feeling I get when I am there. The memories I have of going to concerts are some of my best memories. That is what I notice now when I am at one, seeing parents taking their young children to see bands that they enjoyed. Families making musical memories together. I have also seen some other memorable musicians/bands such as Stevie Ray Vaughan, Willie Nelson, Dolly Parton, Kenny Rodgers, Jimmy Buffett and Neil Diamond just to mention a few. I wish I would have kept all of the tickets cause I know I am  forgetting some really great ones.

I’m not sure if it was the music, the people I saw or heard it with, what I was going through at the time or a combination of all of these. I just know my life would not have been the same without it. I love music. It can transport you to another time and place in seconds. So go ahead, put on some music and dance, dance, dance…

Do you go to live concerts? What was your favorite and why?

 

21Aug/15

I CAN’T HEAR YOU…

And yes I am yelling….

a little louder please...

a little louder please…

This isn’t something I like talking about, but I feel the need to speak for all of us who have any kind of hearing problem. I am almost totally deaf in one ear and about 80% in the other. I wear a hearing aid but most likely will be needing to have one in both ears in the very near future.

The reason for my talking about it today is I want to raise awareness and hopefully by doing so, maybe make people have a little compassion for the hearing impaired. I struggle on a daily basis to understand people in any number of situations. I can’t always hear servers in restaurants or clerks in the stores. People have a tendency to talk fast and or mumble which makes hearing them even harder. If I am going to be in a situation where I know it is going to be hard to hear the person and it is important for me to do so(like at my recent eye exam), I will stop them before they even start talking and tell them I wear a hearing aid and would they speak slowly and clearly.

I have to constantly ask people to repeat what they said, sometimes 3 times(that is my limit). Very often, what happens is I still am not getting it and just nod or answer to what I’ve thought they said. Then they stand there staring at me with a blank look in their eyes because I’m clearly not answering the question correctly. Sometimes I just walk away.

Not being able to hear is hard. It isn’t something someone can tell about you when they see you. Even when you are with family and friends that do know, they tend to forget and talk in a normal tone of voice so I can’t always join in the conversation. Even when I do, people think it’s funny when I mistake what they’ve said, when “Do you want some brie”, becomes “Do you have to pee”. I agree that is funny and I laugh along with them. But sometimes its not funny. Sometimes it just hurts. It is hurtful to make fun of someone with a hearing impairment, just like making fun of any other impairment.

I don’t like having this affliction. I don’t like sitting on the sidelines and not joining in the fun at family gatherings and dinners with friends. And I am happy for everyone with perfect hearing. I envy you. Enjoy it, you don’t know what a wonderful thing it is until you don’t have it. All I’m asking is the next time you are talking to someone and they ask you to repeat something for the third time, just do it and don’t complain about it or make fun of them. We hate it as much as you do!

So please people, speak up and speak clearly!

13Aug/15

Who Am I??

Its happened, I have truly turned into my parents…

Stop it now...

Stop it now…

 

I don’t know when or how this happened, but it happened. I find myself saying and doing things they did all the time now. Daily, hourly, every few minutes… I just can’t stop it. I want to but I can’t. I have turned into my parents!!

How this is affecting my life and the lives of those who love me (at least they did, maybe not so much anymore) has not been determined yet. But it is affecting them and me. I promise myself to try harder to stop being my parents. But can I?

My my youngest daughter and grandkids are visiting from Vermont this week and I find myself acting like my Dad constantly. Saying things like “turn out that light, stop running in and out the front door, calm down, shut the refrigerator door, do you have to be so loud, you’ll poke your eye out”…and on and on. The words just come out of my mouth and the moment I say them I hear him and want to stop but I can’t.

I wasn’t always like this, I was a fairly normal person for the most part and allowed the kids to be kids, but I have sadly turned into Dad and I can’t go back. Mom wasn’t as bad as Dad. My Father was the one who had no patience at all with kids. That is until I had kids, he was pretty good with them and actually talked to them, I don’t remember ever having a conversation with him unless he was telling me NOT to do something or to lower my voice. I couldn’t do anything right. I tried to be different with my kids, I left them be kids. I wasn’t like this when they were little..or at least I don’t think I was.

Dad did however have his limits, even with my kids. I remember both of my daughters telling me of one particular night they slept over at my parents house, they had been to the mall and each of them got a balloon. They were being kids and playing with the balloons and had named them “Buster”(they got them at the Buster Brown Shoe Store). Of course they were giggling and running around the house with them until Dad just couldn’t take it any longer,  he got up from the sofa went over and ripped the much loved Buster from their tiny little hands and threw them out. I always thought this was such a horrible story. That is until recently. I could so see myself doing this…and maybe even have done something similar.

So I ask, is this normal? Or is something wrong with me? Or could it be due to the fact I have been through so much lately that I have absolutely no patience for anything that is out of my ordinary daily routine? I have had so much chaos, craziness and loss in my life that now I seek peace, calm and a semblance of order. I am not making excuses, I am just saying this is the way it is.

And by the way, this isn’t just happening with my grandkids, I am even doing it with my oldest kid who has moved in with me. I find myself on a daily basis telling her to turn off the light or shut the refrigerator door. She just looks at me and I know what she is thinking. I also yelled at my youngest daughter the other night for jumping around in bed. I thought she was going to have a heart attack. Of course I feel bad after I do these things, but for some reason I just can’t stop myself.

Again I pose this question to you, is this normal? Do you find yourself having less patience as you turn older? Do you find yourself saying and doing more things like your parents? Please tell me I am not alone or crazy!

Are we destined to turn into our parents?

 

 

06Aug/15

There’s No Place Like Home..

Even if it isn’t your home anymore

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The house I grew up in..

 

I drove by the house I grew up in last week and as it always does these days, it made me sad. I’m sad my parents don’t live there. I’m sad someone else is living in “my house”, enjoying my yard and sleeping in the room I grew up in with my sister.

My parents built this house in 1949, the year I was born. They lived in it their whole married life. I was born in this house. How can this not be our house anymore? I sit out front and stare at it now and wonder if the family inside is enjoying it as much as we did. I am also silently hoping I don’t get arrested for stalking or something.

I have such wonderful memories of my youth and growing up in this house. We had our whole family together here every major holiday. There would be picnics outside in the summer where Dad would cook on the grill and Thanksgiving and Christmas Mom would do her thing in the kitchen. Family meant the world to my parents and they included everyone in these celebrations. Oh, what I would give to have one again.

I love thinking back to the days when we played outside in the back yard or roller skated down the sidewalk. Everyone in the neighborhood knew each other and if you misbehaved someone let you know it wasn’t acceptable or told your Mother. And you didn’t want that so you behaved. We were outside from morning until dark. My first friends were all from the neighborhood and we were always together. All different ages, it didn’t matter. We made up games and things to do and we were never bored. Sometimes we would just lay in the grass at dusk and look at the stars until our parents made us go back inside for the night. Then we hooked up cans on string and threw it across the window to the house next door so we could continue our conversations.

I think of all of this as I sit there staring at “our” house. I can picture us running around the neighborhood or riding our bikes. Speaking of bikes, I remember the little girl across the street getting her foot caught in the spokes of my bike an having to go to the hospital. See Mom was right, you shouldn’t let anyone ride on the back of your bike. I also remember when the meat truck would pull up out front and Mom had me go out to get our lunch meat. I also remember one such time after looking both ways and seeing not a car in sight, getting struck by a car and having to go to the hospital. I was 5 and believe me, I was a super star when I went back to school with the story of getting thrown 20 feet in the air and surviving with just a few scratches.

My own kids don’t have this. I have moved so many times in my life it it ridiculous. so there isn’t that one place they can look back on and say it was their home. I bought the house I live in now so that our family can be together and have a place to call “home.”  But what is a home? The dictionary defines it as this..”the place where one lives permanently, especially as a member of a family or household. Permanently..see even the dictionary thinks it should be permanent.

I miss this house and everything it meant to me. I hold all of those memories in my heart now of course, but I would love to be back inside that place one more time. One more time with my family all together. One more time.

Do you still live in your family home? Would you if you could?

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Me and some of the neighborhood kids.

“There’s no place like home” ~ Dorothy