creepy

What Are You Afraid Of?

the monster under the bed…

creepy

now this I’m afraid of…

I’m pretty sure we all have “something” we are afraid of…I’m not afraid of most of the things I used to be scared of when I was younger, but I still have fears. I think after going through so many difficult things in my life and as I age, the things I once thought were scary… no longer scare me. Also, I just decided one day to stop living in fear. However that being said, I still have a few things that I’m afraid of.

Ok, let me just get this out of the way… I’ll admit it…I’m still afraid of the “monster under the bed”…I do not EVER allow a leg or arm hang over the edge and never ever look under there in the dark. I always keep a sheet or something(no mater how hot it is) over me while sleeping..just in case the monster decides to come out. I don’t care who you are or what you think of me, this is scary.

I am a little afraid of aging…not that getting older scares me but what comes with it. I want to live a good long life and my grandson just told me he hoped I live into my 90’s..I just don’t want to not be able to do the things I love to do. I have seen my mother decline in health and not be able to get out of bed for 4 years before she actually passed. I don’t want that. I don’t want my kids to have to see me that way. I want to only age to the point I can still enjoy life…I know I have no control over that for the most part but I do try to take care of myself and stay healthy.

Along with aging comes the fact that as we age we lose people we love. I keep losing people. I’m afraid of losing more. I am constantly aware of this. When I was little and lost people I never really experienced the loss like I do now. I remember my mother talking about this as she lost her friends and family but it didn’t affect me so I did not really understand her feelings about this. I value life and my friends and family members so much that each loss is so profound and deeply felt. And I lose a little part of me every time I lose someone.

“Always do what you are afraid to do.” ~ Ralph Waldo Emerson

I’m afraid of never being in love again. I think about this sometimes…will I never know  that feeling again. I’m 68 and at this point the chance for this to happen is slim to none.  I know I have the love of family and friends and believe me when I say how much I appreciate all of that love. I have been lucky to have had several loves in my lifetime and loved each one of them dearly and deeply. If I never experience that kind of love again, I guess what I had will have to have been enough. But I would like to feel that wonderful feeling of loving and being loved one more time.

One thing that really scares me is that I will leave this earth without really having done everything I wanted to do or accomplish. I’m afraid of dying without really having lived. Am I doing the things I want to do? Am I giving back? Have I made a difference? These things are important to me and I have been fixated on them lately. I want my days on this earth to mean something. I don’t want to just exist. I want to make a difference, I want to have mattered.

I really don’t want to get into politics or the state of our country and world, however I do worry about the future for our children and their children. But then I think back to when I was a very small child and the adults would all be in the living room talking…and I being the nosey kid I was at the time, would be around the corner listening to to their conversations about how worried they were for the world and what they feared was going to happen. Terrible things were going to happen. I was scared and had nightmares about the things they talked about. This was over 60 years ago and the conversation has stayed with me all my life. But the bad things didn’t happen then and I don’t think they will now. There are always scary times in each lifetime but somehow someway we persevere. We are tough, we survive and get through the difficult times somehow. We are brave! We are not afraid!!!

Oh and I almost forgot…I’m afraid of spiders.  I always have been. My Dad used to have to come up in my bedroom and kill them before I could go to sleep when I was little…and actually when I was a teenager too. I’m still afraid of them. I’m afraid of having one crawl in my ear at night while I sleep. But here’s a thought…maybe, just maybe the monster under the bed will eat all the spiders so I don’t have to be afraid anymore. So see that monster is good for something. Its nice to know you really can find something good in every bad situation..

What are you afraid of?

“You gain strength, courage, and confidence by every experience in which you really stop to look fear in the face. You must do the thing which you think you cannot do.” ~ Eleanor Roosevelt

 

24 thoughts on “What Are You Afraid Of?

  1. I believe that we are afraid of the unknown. As we grow older, it is fitting to look back on our lives and assess what impact we have had on this world. If you have and keep friends your impact is measured in their smiles. As FDR once said, the only thing we have to fear is fear itself. Very good post that gets your readers to think. What better gift can you give to your readets.

    1. So true…we are often afraid of things we don’t even know about…we need to stop being afraid…I’m glad I give my readers something to think about…Thanks Andy!

  2. Haha…I need something covering me, too. Once in awhile I’ll hang my foot out of the bed trying to be brave, I guess. Of COURSE it comes right back in…lol. I guess my biggest fear is not living long enough to have more time with my family. I know I shouldn’t be so negative, but I just can’t shake it off!!!

  3. What a BLOG!!!! My thought is that probably anyone who has ever had a focused fear can relate to your words in this piece. I know that I can. I have had anxiety triggered by many things over my life. They have never, ever entirely left me. But I find that my Faith does help with my fears….both real and imagined! Some people, especially those who are non-believers, would call me foolish. But I do not think that there is anything new on the face of the earth. There have always been pessimists and optimists. There have always been people who were daring and those who were “fraidy cats”! I have been both at times in my life, and I think that goes to the heart of the human condition. I believe that fear is just one of the emotions with which we were created. Some of it is for our own well being. One SHOULD be afraid of eating that fuzzy, green meat that has been in the back of the fridge for months!!! One really should not consider jumping over the Niagara Falls! One should be afraid of any abuse that lurks in his/her past and quickly realize that NO ONE invites that abuse. Get help! One SHOULD WALLOW in the love and respect of friends, acquaintances and family! It can get you through the rough patches. Death…..well, that comes to all of us. But there is ONE, I believe, who has overcome that fear, once and for all. He died for US, but HE also AROSE again, for US. We who believe, celebrate that belief this coming week. I endeavor every day to “cast my fears upon Him” believing that He is able to take care of us. One thing that He has given to us is friends like you, Hellion, to cast some light into the dark corners and let us know that we are not alone in this journey called life. That is just one thing that I love about YOU!

  4. I have a list of fears too! The “aging” thing is up there right now for all the reasons you list. I appreciate your candor in this post.

  5. I’m very concerned about the state of our country and the way that politics is now the opposite of public service. And I’m afraid the next generation will not understand that this is not the norm. The young adults from Parkland are giving me hope.I’m sorry it took a tragedy for that to happen, but they are giving me hope.

  6. I love, just love your thinking that the monster under the bed can destroy spiders! I am not a big fan of dark small places. So candlelight not my idea of romance because what is lurking in the dark corners. I do fear that my body will outlive my mind or my mind will outlive my body. Both not good outcomes!

  7. I’m afraid of not loving enough, not connecting enough, not giving enough, and not having focused on the joy enough. I’m also not a fan of spiders, mean people, or cellulite.

    1. All of this are things to be afraid of….but we still have time to change that…well maybe not the spiders, mean people and cellulite…Thanks for commenting Margot!

  8. OMG word for word I am afraid of those same things!! Not so much the monster under the bed but the rest for sure. I do have to have something over me in bed though. Being 71 now the others things are my fears too. Losing so many friends and last month my baby brother has me so scared daily. But I try to live life to the fullest. LOVE? Well that ain’t gonna happen. I’m way too picky now but one never knows!! Love ya sweetie ❤️❤️

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