Some of the reasons I feel lost..
Wednesday July 20, 2016 my life was forever changed. Losing my son has completely changed my life and it will never be the same. People tell me it’s time to move on. But it’s not that easy. Sometimes are harder than others especially when it’s close to the day he left us. This year was harder than ever for some reason.
Five years ago I moved back to PA where I grew up. I felt like I needed to be home again, hoping to reconnect with my family and friends. But I really don’t see many of them and when I do I feel like I don’t fit in. Most of them are married, and have kids and grands all near by. My youngest daughter lives in VT and 2 of my grands live there too. And her other son lives in MD. My oldest daughter lives close to DC and my son’s two kids live in MD and I rarely see them. Especially my only granddaughter who I haven’t seen in almost two years. I only had one sibling and she passed away in 2014. I miss her so much. She had 2 daughters, my nieces who I was excited to spend more time with, but I rarely see them. I’ve lived in my house for 4 years and they’ve never come to visit.
Honestly, I’m not trying to feel sorry for myself, I’m just trying to explain why I am feeling the way I am so you can understand. I so miss my house in MD. I loved my house and it was always filled with family and friends. But I couldn’t live there anymore after losing my son. And I’ve lost so many friends and family members lately and that doesn’t help. I remember my mom feeling so sad that she was losing so many and now I understand how she felt. I just feel lost and I don’t know how to fix that. And please don’t feel sorry for me, I just needed to put it out there so you can understand and I can hopefully move forward.
Thank you for your understanding.
Renee, The Hellion
Hi it’s Vicki, I didn’t know if I had to sign in for my name to come up. But I don’t remember signing in before and probably forgot how to do it anyway….I’m retired (for now) and I blame my brain-drain on that! Anyway…
I’m so sorry that you’re feeling bad, I can certainly understand that. We all have been through lots of changes since we were young and carefree. Although, losing a child has to be one of the worst things that anyone can go through. Just my opinion but, I don’t know if anyone can truly “get over it”. Grief is very personal and you have to do what is right for you. I wouldn’t expect anyone to understand unless they have been through it themselves. Maybe finding a group for bereaved parents would be helpful?
Hugs and prayers <3
Thank you so much Vicki, not sure why it keeps saying anonymous. I’m working on fixing it.
Hi Renee. I understand why you had to cancel our get together in July. 😔 I still want to see you when you feel up to it. Just let me know. 😊❤️
BTW….that was from Peg Martin!!
Thank you Peg!
Awww hon i feel bad for ya but can only offer hugs and say it gets hard as we age. Losing your son i can’t imagine cause if i lost mine, i couldn’t go on. I have greats and grands nearby but honestly seldom hear from em!! worlds changed and not for the better!! Hugs💕💕😥😥😥😥😥😥
Thank you so much!