Monthly Archives: November 2016

28Nov/16
Reading equals happiness

How Reading Makes Me Happy

and that isn’t easy these days…

Reading equals happiness

Sometimes all you need is a good book…

“Reading gives us a place to go when we have to stay where were are.” ~ Mason Cooley

I have always loved to read. I read all the time as a young girl and teenager. I even wanted to be a writer. But then I got pregnant, married and started working…there wasn’t much time left over to read. Even when I did through the years, I couldn’t focus on the book. I read one every now and then until about a year ago I started reading a little more often. Just recently I was having trouble getting to sleep so I started reading more. Now I have been reading a book every few days. Finishing off one or two a week.

Reading can take us to far away places and make us feel and experience things most of us could never experience except through books. Reading a book as enjoyable as that may be is so much more than that..it can also be helpful in many ways. It has been known to delay Dementia and Alzheimers by keeping the brain busy and active. It can help relieve stress and relax us, thereby inducing sleep. I choose to read at night, in bed. If I don’t read my brain goes off on a tangent of what ifs and whys. And so I read. I read until I am tired or I can’t keep my eyes open any longer. And I fall into a deep sleep sometimes dreaming of the characters in the book.

Speaking of the characters in the books, I sometimes identify with them and feel like they are my friends or family. I was talking to someone the other day and almost told them I knew someone who had just gone through whatever it was they were talking about… I had to stop myself because I quickly realized it was a character in a book I was reading at the time. I also get upset when I finish my latest book of choice. I miss the people I have grown to love and want to hear what is going on with them now. I want more. What happened in the years since I left them….did they stay together, did they have that child? Maybe I get a little too attached to the characters in my books. I don’t remember ever doing that after seeing a movie. It’s just books.

We had libraries and also a few small book stores when I was young. They were the only way to get books. I remember getting my first library card, how excited I was. I also remember paying a fine when I forgot to take the book back on the day it was due. Now books are readily available anytime and anywhere. Ebooks are supposedly the best way and easiest way to read a book these days. I have a few on my kindle but to me the whole experience of holding a book in my hands and smelling the pages of my well worn paperback is half the reason I read. Laying in my bed with a beloved book is pure joy at the end of a long day.

I have heard that reading can be therapeutic. Back in the early 1900’s bibIiotheraphy  first became a thing. Doctors and some early therapists thought that by reading books on subjects which mirrored issues the children and adults had could benefit them in ways other treatments could not. It is also sometimes combined with writing therapy. Some studies say it helps with depression. I think this is true. I know both reading and writing have helped me through some very difficult times.

I have read different genres at different stages of my life. I remember reading The Catcher in the Rye back in high school. We weren’t supposed to read it and my parents said I couldn’t. So I hid it under things in my drawer and read it by flashlight every night in bed. It was full of teenage angst and rebellion. Everything a teenager wanted to read about. I really want to read it again.

I read various self help books during my divorce.  I read every book I could get my hands on. I thought it could fix me. Of course it was my fault we were no longer married. At least that is what I was told. After one breakup I read Eat, Pray, Love: One Woman’s Search for Everything Across Italy, India and Indonesia. I know this book was not given a lot of credit by the critics when it first came out. But the book and movie captured many women’s hearts and dreams. I mean come on….Who wouldn’t want to go away for a year and eat Italian food? Me(raising my hand) Not sure about the other two places, but why not?

I like fiction over non-fiction. Most of the time I pick light hearted books that don’t make me think. I want something to take me away not bring me down. I love books that are centered around ocean towns and beaches since I love the beach reading these books instantly makes me feel as though I am there. I love Erin Hildebrand, Kristin Hannah, Susan Wiggs, Wendy Wax, Lisa Wingate and my all time favorites Maeve Binchy and Rosamunde Pilcher. I have to say my favorite book is
The Shell Seekers, by Rosamunde. It is about families, 3 generations of family. And it made me feel so deeply I cried when I was finished. I do that quite frequently now when I finish a book.

Sometimes I read something based on the author or what or who the story is about. I did this recently when I read The Paris Wife. It was a fictional account of a true story about Hemingway’s first wife and the time they spent in Paris. I was enthralled with this book for many reasons. It held my interest and it was in Paris, a city I want to visit and is on my bucket list. It intrigued me so much that I wanted to learn more about Hemingway. So I decided to read “The Sun Also Rises”. It is widely considered his best and has millions of rave reviews. I hated it. After reading both of these I decided to try again and heard about another fictionalized account of a real life story. This one was about Charles Lindbergh and his wife Anne, The Aviator’s Wife: A Novel. It was a very good book, but in the end it made me really hate him. I loved the movie with Jimmy Stewart as Lindbergh and thought he was a wonderful man. He very well may have been but his image is forever tarnished by my having read this book.

So yes, reading can take you to places you have never been and feel things you never knew you would feel. I love reading and so does my daughter and many of my friends. We trade books and we all share different views on the books we read. But one thing we all agree on is how much reading enriches our lives. I heard that people who read are happier. I know in my case this is true. Keep reading my friends and get happy!

Do you love to read and what is your favorite all time book?

“With my eyes closed, I would touch a familiar book and draw it’s fragrance deep inside me. This was enough to make me happy.” ~ Haruki Murakami

 

Disclosure: Some links on here are affiliate links and if you click on them and buy something I may earn a little cash,  if you buy more I could maybe get a cup of coffee.

 

 

17Nov/16
jeans

“Forever In Blue Jeans”

with all due respect to Neil Diamond…

jeans

my favorite things. water, a good book and my jeans…oh and jewelry.

Well I just had to post about this. It kinda got shoved under the carpet with the whole election thing going on…I saw an article posted recently where a group of Brits(2000 of them) were surveyed about what age women should stop wearing jeans…and they came up with the ripe old age of 53. We women, not men, should no longer wear jeans after we reach the 50’s. WTH? Who comes up with this stuff? Why was this survey even a thing? And who are these 2000 people who were surveyed?

With all the issues we have to survey people about someone thought this was a good idea. Well I have news for these people. I will not stop wearing my jeans…EVER.  You are going to have to pry my jeans off my cold dead body. I love my jeans. I always have since the very first pair I ever got. My Wranglers. I wore them as soon as I got home from school. I took off my skirt, knee socks and penny loafers and on went my jeans.That was when I wore my first pair, after that I was taking off my Capezios, my wool skirt and fur blend sweater to put on my Keds, sweatshirt and jeans.

Back in the 50’s and 60’s when I was growing up we weren’t allowed to wear jeans or any kind of pants to school. We had to wear a skirt and top or a dress. I guess that is why I am so loving them now and wearing them all the time. I couldn’t wear them for so long that I have to make up for all those years. I love jeans, honestly I wear them most of the time. I have different styles and colors but I wear them almost every single day.

Jeans were first worn by the miners, farmers and cowboys(love a cowboy in jeans, but that is another story). Levi Strauss created them in 1800’s. There was a need for a fabric that was strong enough to endure all the rough work they did. Someone noticed how cool they were and they were immediately mainstreamed into the stores for us. And thank goodness for that! Lee, Wrangler and Levis were the first ones I remember and then the designers got into the action. They knew a good thing and they couldn’t wait to cash in on the much loved jean craze.

Back in the 50’s there was just the plain old jeans and then with the 60’s came the Bell Bottoms. I wore both of course, being the fashionista that I was and still am. A few of the designers I remember and wore were Gloria Vanderbilt, Jordache(remember them..LOL), Guess and Ralph Lauren. Now I don’t really care about the label as long as they fit. But I do love my Calvin Klein and Michael Kors jeans. They just seem to fit me better than others. Cost doesn’t really come into play either, I have found some no name brands I love and don’t cost an arm and a leg and have really hated some expensive ones. My jeans just need to feel “right” for me to buy them and wear them.

The study also said it takes some women trying on 6 pairs of jeans before they find a pair they like and fit the way they want them to fit. I think that number may be low. I seem to recall the last time I was trying to find some and must have taken 10 pair into the dressing room, none of which fit…The survey also said 6% of women even wind up crying when they can’t find any to fit. Really? I know after the 10 pairs I tried on, I was exhausted and gave up for the day. But I didn’t cry. There is no crying in fashion…There was another study by the British earlier in the year that said we should stop wearing jeans at 47. What is it with the Brits? Do they want us American women to look old and frumpy so they will look cooler?

When you think back, we have had so many types of jeans, from your regular old denim jean to prewashed, preshrunk, distressed, faded, acid washed, low rise, high rise mom jeans(never a fan of these), straight leg, wide leg, and the ever popular skinny jeans. I know some people aren’t a fan of skinny jeans but I really like them and wear them, not the “so tight I can’t bend my legs” type skinny jeans, but they are great to wear with boots which I wear all the time. I have jeans in all colors and like black jeans a lot.  Can you tell I just love my jeans? Since it takes forever to find the perfect pair of jeans I think it makes you want to wear them until they wear out… and now that I mentioned it, I hate that. My favorite ever pair of jeans wear out and now I am on a mission to find some to replace them. We all know how that goes since you can buy the same style, same brand, same size and they don’t fit! What is that? The designers messing with us??

I have read in many fashion magazines that jeans are one of “the” most popular all time items of clothing. The reason being you can where them just about anywhere depending on how you dress them up or down. And the fact anyone can wear them, any sex, any nationality, or any age. Evidently the Brits, or at least 2000 of them don’t agree. I don’t care what “they” say or anyone else for that matter. I will keep on wearing my jeans. I will wear them until I don’t think I should. Since I don’t see that happening any time soon… someone..someday will have to pry them off my cold dead body.

“Money talks
But it don’t sing and dance
And it don’t walk
And long as I can have you here with me
I’d much rather be
Forever in blue jeans” – Neil Diamond

“I have often said that I wish I had invented blue jeans: the most spectacular, the most relaxed and nonchalant. They have expression, modesty, sex appeal, simplicity – all I hope for in my clothing.” ~ Yves Saint Laurent

and this one… “I want to die with my blue jeans on.” ~ Andy Warhol and me…

What about you? What do you think? Is there an age when women shouldn’t wear jeans anymore? Do you love jeans?

 

 

10Nov/16
meditation can help

How To Be Positive In A Negative World

and yes, it is possible…

meditation can help

With all the negativity in the world is it possible for us to have even a small amount of positivity in our own little world? We are surrounded by bad news these days like never before. TV and online news is abundant. And then throw in social media, which tends to make people even angrier about things they see and hear than it did before. People believe everything they see and read and then get themselves all worked into a frenzy about it… and most of the time it isn’t even true. Families and friendships are torn apart and if this can happen to family and friends think about how it affects the world.

I believe we can change this. Yes, I am an eternal optimist and believe the glass is half full. But we need to start with ourselves and our own family. We can not let the media and the hate out there continue to bring us down. How do we start to change things? How can we make our own little part of the world positive? We need to start with small things. We need to start with ourselves. Maybe we can not change the world, but we can change the way we feel. That is really all we have power over..our own feelings. And maybe by changing our feelings we can begin to see a difference in our world.

I have thought about this a lot lately due to the fact I myself have started feeling a little upset about my own way of dealing with things and all the negativity, so I made a list of things I could do to change the way I feel.

“Positive thinkers have a solution for every problem. Negative thinkers have a problem for every solution.” ~ Steven Aitchison

Go to the beach, the mountains or wherever it is you feel most happy. If you can’t go there look at pictures or videos of these places. And take a video next time you visit so you have this to look at when you feel like you need it. It can really make a difference. I love to look at the waves crashing on the shore and it truly soothes my soul.

Make a list of all the things you have in your life that you are grateful for. I say my list out loud every night before I go to sleep. And I try to come up with something every morning when I wake up. Usually, it is that I woke up! Being grateful for everything in your life brings us more things to be grateful for.

Be kind to others and give of yourself. There is nothing to make you feel better about yourself than to help another person. It gets you out of yourself and helps you to see that there is always someone worse off than you. It doesn’t take much to smile and be kind. Try it.

Turn off the news and stay off social media. The news isn’t what it was back in the day. We had real news, unbiased and they just reported the facts. What happened to that? And really, I love social media as well as the next person, so I know I am not giving it up, but I am trying to limit the amount of time I spend on it and limit the people who I call my “friends”.  I can’t ignore the fact that it has given me some great new friends and also returned some lost ones. But we need to take everything we see with a grain of salt. News Flash…not everything that we see on tv or the internet is true. Check it out people, google it, talk to others before getting yourself upset by something you think is real when it is just someone putting trash out there into cyber space to whip everyone up. And they are doing a good job of it. Don’t respond to the negativity either, if you see something that makes you feel bad, just scroll on. I try to put “good” out there every day on my Facebook page and I know people are grateful I do.

“Don’t let the behavior of others destroy your inner peace.” ~ Dalai Lama

 

Listen to music and dance. Music can touch your soul and clear your head. It can take you away or bring you back. It is the medicine that can keep you going when times get tough. Whether you are at home or in your car, listen to some music. Go to a concert. Enjoy the music you grew up with. Turn on the music and dance!

Exercise or meditate, or both. Get outdoors and walk in the sunlight. Nature and the brisk cool air can heal many a negative mind. Do whatever makes you feel good, if it doesn’t, you won’t keep doing it. So if it’s yoga or joining the gym, whatever you like and will keep doing…do that!

Let go of things that are not bringing you joy and happiness. This includes people as well as things. I know you can’t always stay away from that boss at work that brings you down, but you can change the way they make you feel when you are around them. And you can’t get rid of a family member if you want to keep them in your life. Its hard when this situation happens to us and harder when it is someone we love. We can’t change them, but we can change the way we respond to them.

Surround yourself with positive people. Like I said before, sometimes we can not get rid of certain people but we don’t need to constantly be with them. If you care about someone who is toxic, limit the amount of time you spend with them. This is not being selfish, this is what we need to do for our own health. I know first hand how hard this is sometimes but if you want to be happy you need to do it. I am truly blessed to have so many positive people in my life and believe me, it makes all the difference. I have gone to hell and back many times in my life and would not be here and whole if it wasn’t for all of them.

“A good friend is a connection to life – a tie to the past, a road to the future, the key to sanity in a totally insane world.” ~ Lois Wyse

Talk to yourself.  Yes, I know this sounds weird… but it isn’t. If you are feeling upset or negative about something, talk to yourself the same way you would talk to a friend. Think about what you would say to that friend and say it to yourself instead. Note: You may want to close your door or make sure no one is close by.

Take your kids/grand kids on a fun day trip. If you don’t have any, take someone else’s. I’m sure they could use a break and you get to see the day through the eyes of a child. There is nothing better than playing like a kid again to make all of our negativity and worries seem far far away.

Go on a road trip with friends. If you follow my blog and I hope you do. (And if you don’t, sign up now to get it each and every time in your email.) Anyway, if you follow my blog you know I just went on a road trip last week. There is nothing like going somewhere you have never been before with good friends. It doesn’t have to cost a lot. If money is a concern,  you can just go to a new restaurant or a concert at a place you’ve never been to before. Just do something different and spend time with your friends. You will leave with an even better friendship and memories that will last forever.

This is my list of things to help you be more positive. Do you have anything to add to this list? What makes you feel joyful in this crazy world?

“Keep your face to the sunshine and you can not see a shadow.” ~ Helen Keller

 

 

06Nov/16
road trip

The Road Trip

sometimes all you need is a full tank of gas and a good friend…or two…

road trip

ready for a little adventure…go on a road trip…

“Never go on trips with anyone you do not love.” ~ Ernest Hemingway

I think sometimes all we need to fix whatever ails our soul is a road trip. I love spending time with friends. I also like to see new places and experience things I have never experienced before. Doing all of these things together at the same time can sometimes be life changing. It all depends on who you brought along for the ride.

I’ve heard it said a time or two that it doesn’t matter where you go, it’s who you have beside you on your journey. I don’t know who said it but they were right. I don’t care if you are going on a road trip or just life in general, the people who are beside you on your journey can truly change your life. And having the “right” people with you can make all the difference.

Just this past week I went on a “road trip” to Virginia. A friend and I rode there together to a mutual friends house and stayed there for 3 days.  Our friend has a beautiful house in a lovely setting with a creek and woods behind it, which lends itself to wonderful sunrises and sunsets. We hiked, went sight seeing, visited wineries and of course we went out to eat. It was a wonderful time, beautiful weather and so much fun. But all of that aside, it was the two friends and the time we spent together that really made the trip special. It was the time we spent talking about our lives and the things going on in our lives that made this trip what it was. Amazing.

I loved visiting the wineries and doing wine tastings. We all enjoyed this and each of us liked different wines. I think friendships are kind of like fine wine. Sometimes the friendship has to sit a bit, has to age until it is ready. Ready to be what it was meant to be. This weekend showed me our friendship was ready. To have friends that you are able to share your deepest thoughts with and not be judged or fear it will be passed along to others is a rare thing these days. How many people can truly share their deepest secrets and not be afraid of how it will be taken or that one day you will have it come back to haunt you?

If you follow me(and you should, by the way) you know I write a lot about friendship. The reason why is because of how much I value the friends I have. Having lost so much family has made me value them even more. We all need friends. Some people only have one or two and that is fine. Even one true friend can make a difference in your life. I am blessed to have so many wonderful friends in my life. People who continually lift me up and help me through the hard times. I only hope I give some of that back. If I have given one small amount of what has been given to me than my life has been worth it.

After a long day of hiking and walking in the cool fall air we would sit at my friends kitchen table and chat about the things we did that day. Someone would bring up something funny we said or did and we would bust out laughing. This was the best part of the day. There we were, sitting there together eating apple streusel out of the bowl together and laughing. I looked around the table and fully realized what I had in these women.

As I drove home from my friends house I thought about the 3 days we spent together and I smiled the whole way home. What I gained from this trip can not be measured by how much fun I had in Virginia, and don’t get me wrong we had a lot of fun. What I gained from this road trip was how much my life had been enriched by simply spending time with these girls. I have spent time with them before, but I felt something different this time… something had changed. Maybe it was the one on one time we had together or maybe it is the fact we are getting older. But it felt like something had shifted. We are more like sisters than friends. We are joined together by something that can’t really be explained. Nor does it need to be.

Everyone should go on a road trip with a friend.. or two. Have you ever and where did you go?

” A journey is best measured in friends rather than miles.” ~ Tim Cahill