Category Archives: Humor

03Mar/16

My Dad, A Man of Few Words..

but the words he spoke left quite an impact

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Last week was my Dad’s birthday, he would have been 89. I miss my Dad more with every passing day and his death has left a void in my life that no one can ever fill. Dad was a strong, quiet, hard working man who loved his family…and golf.

Back in his day working hard and providing for your family showed how much you loved them. That was all you needed to do. You worked and worked and when you finally got home you were so exhausted you couldn’t do anything else. Dad worked 2 jobs, 6 days a week so there wasn’t a lot of time left at the end of the day. Most nights he would just fall asleep on the couch watching tv.

He played golf on Saturdays after work and sometimes on Sundays. But Mom didn’t like him playing on Sundays so that didn’t happen very often. We would have family picnics in the back yard and Dad would be the one who tended to the grill. There was always a problem getting the charcoal to light and there would be a few words spoken that we pretended not to hear. But he got it lit and the burgers were great! I sure do miss those times. This is the only time we ever saw Dad cook. When Mom was in the hospital having my sister, my Aunt had to come and feed us due to the fact my Dad was making us cereal…cold cereal.. for every meal. Funny thing is when Dad was in the Navy, he was a cook on the ship. Guess he got tired of it and vowed to never do it again.

I learned a lot from this man. I certainly got my work ethic from him. And I saw his respect for my Mom and the way he treated his own mother. Back in the 50’s and 60’s most women didn’t have a voice. Men ruled the house and what they said was law. But that wasn’t the case in our house. Mom had a voice, boy did she ever. And Dad let her have that voice. He would say his piece and then Mom said hers and basically Dad deferred to Mom. I remember a few times it went on a little longer, but I was very young and by the time I was in my teens, Dad had just given up and he would just let Mom win. He was a smart man.

Dad also had a sense of humor. You didn’t see it very often and most of the time a few beers were involved but he had a very dry sarcastic sense of humor and it cracked me up every time. I think maybe I got my sense of humor from him. I’ve been known to express a little bit of sarcasm now and then. It was always funny to see this side of him when we had people over to the house. My normally quiet father turned into a comedian. Everyone thought he was funny, especially him.

He never yelled at us except when we would have the refrigerator door open too long, which to Dad was anything more than a second. Lights were always turned off on us, even if we were in that room reading. “You don’t need a light on the sun is still out.” Heat evidently wasn’t needed either as it was always shut off to the upstairs and if we turned it on for some dumb reason… like maybe us seeing our breath…. it was off within minutes.

Since my sister and I didn’t have much interaction or playful moments with Dad, you can imagine how surprised I was at the way he treated my kids. He was so loving and played with them any time he could. I never understood why that was until I had grand children of my own. You have more time and you don’t have all the rest of the stuff that goes with raising them. You can just enjoy them. I know I do.

The only time I can honestly say that my Dad let me down or missed a moment to really connect was when he found out I was pregnant. I was only 15 and looking back on it now I can kind of understand his reaction. Especially due to the fact it he wasn’t a very touchy feely kind of man and didn’t know how to react. So he chose to not speak to me for several days and when he finally did he told me he was disappointed in me. I was already disappointed in me, I didn’t need my father saying it. I wanted him to hold me and tell me it would be ok. He didn’t do that then, but his actions the next several months and the years ahead proved that he loved me and stood by me.

The last time I saw my Dad, he and my Mom had come to Ocean City, MD to spend a few days with me at the beach. A few days later he was gone. Dad had recently retired and had more time to do fun things like go to the beach and play more golf. He played every single day…well maybe not Sundays. He always said when he retired he was going to play golf every day and he did. He was actually out playing the day he died. Something else he always said was that he wanted to die on the golf course and he did. Who wouldn’t want to go doing the very thing you loved most in the world?

A father shouldn’t just be a sperm donor or someone who just gives their last name to a child. My Dad proved this and my own son proves this to be true as well. My son didn’t have a very good role model in his own father but he is the best Father to his children I have ever seen. He teaches them with so much love and respect. He isn’t afraid to show them he loves them and as a result they are respectful and loving children in return.

I think how our parents treat us and others truly shapes our lives. Sometimes its good and sometimes it’s not. But whatever the circumstances of our childhood, we can’t continue to blame them for our problems. At some point we have to move on and take responsibility for our lives. I didn’t have a father that constantly talked to me, played with me or one who showered me with love. In fact, he never once told me he loved me. But I knew I was loved. He may not have said the actual words but he proved it by his actions.

My Dad was a wonderful man and I miss him. Happy Birthday Dad! He used to say it never rained on the golf course. So Dad, I hope the grass is green and the sun is shining and every hole is a hole in one!

The most important thing that a father can do for his children is to love their mother.” ~Theodore M Hesburgh

Do you have a great story about your Dad to share?

 

25Feb/16

How I Got Rid Of My Cold, Naturally!

and in less than 2 days…

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Disclaimer: “The Helpful Hellion is a participant in the Amazon Services LLC Associates Program, an affiliate advertising program designed to provide a means for sites to earn advertising fees by advertising and linking to Amazon.com.” This means I could make a little money if you click on one of the links below and actually buy something. Also as stated before, I am not a doctor, nor do I pretend to be one. Do not try anything here if you have serious issues. Please consult your physician. I only tell my story and what happened when I used this. If your toes fall off after using these oil mixtures, don’t blame me!

I started sneezing and honestly could not stop. I am dead serious here, I must have sneezed at least 20 times in a row each time. My ribs and back were starting to hurt from it and I thought, oh great here we go. My grandson has had a cold lingering on for weeks now and insists upon kissing me on the lips. He is such a little love bug! And the keyword in that statement is “bug.”

Not wanting to go the medicine route as anyone that knows me even a little bit knows  that I do not do medicine. I started researching my trusty copy of The Complete Book of Essential Oils and Aromatherapy and found immediate relief from the sneezing. A drop of Lavender 100% Pure Therapeutic Grade Essential Oil by Edens Garden- 10 ml rubbed on the inside of your cheeks..who knew? But I did it and did not sneeze again, even once. It really did amaze me. How did I not know about this miracle cure for sneezing?

So that took care of the sneezing, now what to do about the achiness, coughing and slightly feverish feeling? Back to the book. Die some more research and then I made up a concoction of Majestic Pure Fractionated Coconut Oil 16 Oz(two tablespoons) and 5 drops each of Lavender, Eucalyptus and Peppermint oils in a little bottle and then shook it up and rubbed that on my feet, chest and back. I did this several times throughout the day. I especially reapplied it right before bed. Make sure to rub it on the feet and put on some nice thick warm socks.

I love Edens Gardens Essential Oils, they are a very good quality for the price. I have used them often and have had no problems. I don’t take them internally so I don’t worry about having some kind of weird reaction from them. But you should always do a little test to see if your skin can take the oil and never put it directly on the skin with out being diluted in a carrier oil, such as Coconut Oil, Grapeseed Oil or Sesame Seed Oil. I did rub the lavender oil on my cheeks but it was such a small amount and I feel like it went into my system through my cheeks, I didn’t really swallow it. Surprisingly, it did actually taste pretty good.

The reason I picked these three oils are…Lavender oil has antiseptic and anti fungal properties. Peppermint oil has antimicrobial properties and a calming effect. Eucalyptus oil has a wide range  of properties include anti-inflammatory, antispasmodic, decongestant, antiseptic, and antibacterial as well as other great qualities.

You can also do this and I highly recommend it… put a few drops of the lavender and eucalyptus oils on a few tissues and keep them near by or carry them in your purse in a baggie to pull out and sniff if you get congested. A few drops on a tissue by your pillow also helps you to breathe freely and sleep more soundly.

A steaming hot bath with 3 drops each of Thyme, Tea Tree, Eucalyptus and Lemon essential oils will relax you and open up your sinuses. If you don’t have a bath or the time for one, you can put the oils on a washcloth and lay that on the bottom of the tub while taking your shower and it will still give you some much needed relief.

Diffusing the house or your bedroom with the above mentioned oils will help get rid of the germs and help you to breathe and feel better. I use this one from Amazon..

I did a few other things to get rid of the “bug”. I ate things that were good for me. I never remember if it’s, “starve a fever but feed a cold or feed a fever and starve a cold” ..whatever…but what if you have both…then what? Do you just starve? Well, since I wasn’t sure, I ate when I was hungry. I do have to disclose that I may or may not have had some ice cream…but that was for my 100 degree fever..and it worked. Fever was gone…I had tea every day this week instead of coffee and cinnamon on my bagels. I did take my Bragg Organic Apple Cider Vinegar 32 oz. straight twice a day instead of just once. You don’t need to do it twice..or straight, you can out it in some water with lemon or in your tea. And I got lots of rest and slept very soundly, I think due in part to the lavender.

The best thing I ate for my “bug” was the homemade chicken noodle soup my daughter in law made me. Nothing like homemade soup especially when you don’t have to be the one making it. There is just something to be said for this old remedy. It really truly works and it’s yummy!

I can not believe all of this worked. I have never gotten over a cold or a “bug” so quickly in my whole entire life. You better believe I will be doing these things again should the dreaded “bug” return. I hope you try some of my natural remedies next time you get a cold or the “bug” and that they work as well for you as they worked for me. I wish you all good health and long life!

Do you have any natural remedies that you would like to share, maybe something passed down from your grandmother?

“I shall not die of a cold. I shall die of having lived.” ~ Willa Carter

 

 

 

18Feb/16

Top Ten Things I Learned From Mom

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“we are our Mother’s Daughters”

At least I know I am…I find myself so often doing things or saying something just like  Mom. These were things I hated as a child, but now here I am doing the exact same things. I look in the mirror and I see her. I hear her in my voice. She has molded my life like no other person and shaped me into who I am today. I wish I could pick up the phone and call her so many times recently and ask for her advice. She always helped me through tough times and I’ve had a lot of them lately. Yes, she sure taught me a lot…and not all of it was good. LOL..

Things I learned from Mom:

  1. A Love of family – She loved her family above all else. Everything else came second to them. Mom didn’t just say she loved you, she showed it in every thing she did. Her Mother and Father and siblings were so very important to her, she respected them and honored them. And she passed that on to her own children and grandchildren. We knew we were loved.
  2. To have a caring heart – she deeply wanted to help people and she did that. She gave freely of her money and her time. She volunteered at the schools, was a PTA President and a Girl Scout leader. She also gave to over 100 charities. Yes, really.. If someone, anyone, needed something or a few dollars Mom was always there to help them, all they had to do was ask.
  3. Love of animals – Mom loved animals and had 3 dogs. She loved them and treated them like her kids. Personally I didn’t like any of them.
  4. To be a strong woman – She was a little ahead of her time, my Mom.. She wasn’t afraid to speak her mind and didn’t care if anyone liked what she had to say. If you asked for her advice, you were going to hear it. Most of the time she was right. She fought for what she believed in and heaven help those who tried to tell her otherwise or hurt someone she loved.
  5. A love of food – this is one I wish I didn’t learn quite so well. She loved food and was a great cook. We had dinner together every night and we ate what she made for us or we didn’t eat. I just wish she wouldn’t have taught me to love potato chips.
  6. To love yourself – Mom did a good job on this one. She was a beautiful woman and she took care of herself. She wasn’t skinny by any means, and at times was quite heavy, but her weight never made her think less of herself. She thought she was beautiful and so others did as well.
  7. A sense of style – she had her own sense of what looked good on her and what didn’t. Mom didn’t follow trends or wear what everyone else did. She looked amazing in everything she wore. And as I have mentioned before, she had a statement piece that was her….the big earrings. She was never without them.
  8. Get up and make up – my Mom got up and put on her makeup every single day, whether she was going out or staying in. She styled her hair and put her makeup on, every day. And she would never go out of the house without dressing up or her make up.
  9. A love of the beach – writing this now is funny to me since I can hardly ever remember her getting in the ocean. She would get in pools but not the ocean. She didn’t want to get her hair wet. But she did love the beach. We went to Florida and the many beaches close to PA. Even if it was just for a day, we would all pile in the car with sandwiches made by her for lunch along the way and we had the best time ever. As a side note… I hardly ever get in the ocean anymore either, unless the grandkids shame me into it. But I love to sit on the beach and enjoy the beauty of it every chance I get.

And my favorite is #10. Shopping and bargain finding – My mom was the queen of  shopping and she loved it. It was her hobby. Finding a bargain was the best thing in the world for her. We would go shopping all the time. When we were kids she took us downtown every Friday and we shopped until we couldn’t walk anymore. As she got older, she still loved to do it and made my Dad take her every Wednesday and Saturday and my sister and I and then later my kids went with her on Fridays. I honestly think she would have loved to go every day. This has certainly had an effect on me and my daughters. We all love to shop and when we do it together it is even better. Trying things on and laughing together until we almost pee ourselves is the best tribute to my Mom. I am sure she is looking down on us and saying to herself…”I taught them well.”

“When you look at your mother, you are looking at the purest love you will ever know.” ~ Charley Benetto

What’s the best thing your mother taught you?

 

21Jan/16

The Love/Hate Relationship I Have With My Hair

and how this can be applied to almost anything in your life..

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I am the little girl in the middle of the picture, the one with the scowl on her face. This is my birthday party and I should be happy, but all I can think about is how much I don’t like my hair and how much I want it to be like the other girls in the picture.

How It Began..

My “love/hate” relationship with my hair began in grade school somewhere around 3rd grade. I didn’t mind it much before that or really even pay much attention to my hair or how it looked. However, at some point in 3rd grade, and I remember this as if it happened yesterday, one of my little “girlfriends”  told me my hair looked stupid and that I shouldn’t wear it curly. I was so upset and barely kept myself from crying in front of her. How could I change this? I couldn’t, my hair was naturally curly and there wasn’t a thing I could do about it. I don’t even begin to know how I made it through the rest of the day. And as soon as the bell rang I ran the whole way home crying so hard I could barely see. I ran in the house and told my mother what had happened and repeated to her what the little girl said to me. She tried to calm me down of course and then told me that the little girl was just jealous of my hair and how pretty it was and not to worry about it. Yeah, right!

This love/hate thing with my hair continued through elementary school and high school. My true friends never mentioned it or said what that little wench(being nice here) in the 3rd grade said to me. But there were those times on a rare occasion, like after I walked a mile to school in the rain, when I could see them looking pitifully at my wild, frizzy hair. I never made peace with my hair or should I say, the curls.

Things I  Tried..

You have to know that I went to school in the 50’s and 60’s and curly hair was not in style. Straight hair was the norm and if anything it may have had a flip at the ends but that was it. No curly hair was ever seen in my days at school, so I was it, the lone curly haired girl in the whole entire school. It is hard to be different and very hard to be the only one. I tried everything to make it better or less curly, like sleeping with my hair rolled up in beer cans or ironing it and much later, straightening it. The beer can thing worked…until I walked out of the house on a humid or rainy day. The ironing thing did as well until my mom caught on to what I was doing, especially after the day I burnt both my hair and my neck. I was not allowed to do that anymore and I spent the rest of that day explaining why I had a “love bite” on my neck. The professional straightening thing wasn’t very professional back then so it last maybe a week. But it was a week I truly enjoyed…

We didn’t have the products back in those days like we do now. We had shampoo, conditioner and hair spray. That was it! Oh and also some goopy stuff that was like jello. But believe me when I say these things did not work (on curly hair) and in fact made matters worse. The hair spray we had then was like painting your head with lacquer. And when you went out into the rain or faced the slightest bit of humidity, you would wind up looking like “Medusa” (check her out in Wikipedia)…not a good look or one I wanted to copy. I just wanted “straight hair”…

How I am feeling today..

A few years ago at a class reunion a few girls told me they just loved my hair and how lucky I was that I didn’t have to pay tons of money to have curls. They went on to say they were aways jealous of my hair and wished they had it. Wow, who knew! Certainly not me, the curly haired 8 year old in grade school who ran home crying. It did one thing though, it made me realize that we never know how others are feeling or what they really think about anything. We assume so many things in life and most of the time when we do that we are wrong in our assumptions.

The real lesson I have gotten from this whole thing is that we just need to accept the things we can’t change. And maybe, just maybe even learn to embrace them.

Is there something you have always wanted to change about yourself?

“if you don’t like something, change it; if you can’t change it, change the way you think about it.” ~ Mary Engelbreit

 

07Jan/16

Top Ten Things That Make Me Happy!!

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and no, clowns aren’t one of them…

I think I am a fairly happy person. I am blessed to have wonderful people in my life that make me happy. I also have a few other things that make me happy and here they are:

1. A hug from my grandkids. An added bonus is if they say “I love you Grammy” while hugging me.

2. Exercising. I know this usually isn’t fun and there are days when I don’t want to do it, but it does make me feel happy when I am done! And then I don’t feel so bad eating that bowl of ice cream.

3. Food..any kind of home cooked meal, meals made by someone other than me, the afore mentioned ice cream and a good cup of coffee( I know coffee isn’t food)..also a good glass of Moscato( I know this isn’t food either)

4. The Beach, the smell of the sea, the feel of the sun and spray of the ocean on my skin and just way it relaxes me like no other place on earth.

5. My friends, getting together with them for lunch or dinner and talking and laughing about stupid things. Even texting or chatting with them on Facebook.

6. Spending time with family, especially my kids, my grandkids and my nieces.

7. Shopping. Anyone that knows me knows I love to shop! (note:I must really love it because I write out my blog on paper before I write it here and had shopping down twice). I absolutely love the thrill of finding a bargain. I guess I got that from my Mom.

8. Writing. My new favorite pastime. I always loved writing and even did it from time to time in years past. But since I retired now I have more time to concentrate on it and am loving it even more! It brings me so much joy to put my thoughts down on paper. It’s good to finally have an outlet for all the things I have been carrying around inside my head!

9. Dancing and music. Live music most of all. I used to go dancing at least once a week or even more. I haven’t danced in so long I don’t know if I still can. I plan on changing that this year! Who’s up for dancing?

10. And finally my new Happy Light! I know I have some degree of “SAD”..because I get very sad when we have shorter days and less sun. So I read up on these lights and got one and I must say it does make me “happy.”


“Happiness is like a kiss. You must share it to enjoy it” ~ Bernard Meltzer  I hope I do!

What makes you happy?

 

 

18Nov/15

“Why Don’t Pizzas Come in Round Boxes?”….

And other things I ponder from time to time….

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I have a tendency to think about things too much. Like the title of this blog..why don’t they put pizza that is round in a round box? I wonder about this type of “why” all the time and drive my family absolutely crazy. But that’s me and it’s just the way I am. Here are some more of the crazy things I wonder about.

1. Why do panda’s eyes not open for 50 days and why when they are born are they so much smaller than almost any other animal? Pandas are rather large so why are there babies so tiny?

2. Why do we have to turn the clocks back? Isn’t it bad enough the days are short, do we have to make them even shorter? What happened before we started doing this? And who thought of it in the first place?

3. Why do we have eyebrows? They really serve no purpose. Was it because people worked outside and it kept the sweat from running into the eyes?

4. Why don’t kids write anymore? No one will be able to sign a check in the future. Of course they more than likely won’t have checks but what about a card? What if they want to send a real card to someone? Will they print their name? And don’t even get me started on why they can’t just subtract 55 from 100 the old fashioned way.

5. Why is it when you drive to another state you see more cars from other states than the one you are in? Why don’t people just stay in their own states? If they don’t like it there, then move…

6. Why does the person at work who never really works and goofs off all the time get rewarded and the person who does their job right and on time doesn’t or even gets let go? (just saw this happen last Saturday, and have seen it happen numerous times)

7.Why do some books have blank pages at the end of the book? Is it so if you don’t like the ending you can rewrite it?

8. Why do we stand and stare into the fridge for hours when we are hungry? We know what’s in there, it’s our fridge. Do we think something is magically going to appear in there that wasn’t there earlier?

9. Why are child resistant caps so hard for us to open but kids can open them just fine? I often have to ask my grandchildren to get mine open.

10. Why do we have to turn the radio down when we are looking for an address we can’t find? (just did this yesterday)

11. Why do I have to have my mouth open to put on mascara?

12. Why when we are on Facebook do we have to copy and paste things if we want to share someone’s post? Does it mean we care more about the person if we copy and paste it rather than just sharing it? We must if we took all the that time to copy it and paste it.

13. Why when passing an electric socket do I suddenly have the strong urge to stick my finger in it? (I have never done this by the way, but I so very much have wanted to)

14. And finally, and I have asked this question my whole life….why do eggs have those stupid white things in them?

Do you have stupid things that you have pondered? I would love to hear some of them.

15Oct/15

Ten Reasons Growing Older Rocks!!

“Old age isn’t so bad when you consider the alternative” Maurice Chevalier

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It’s been said “youth is wasted on the young”, but I couldn’t find who really said it. Some sources say George Bernard Shaw and others attribute it to Oscar Wilde and neither of their quotes are the same. Anyway, the meaning of this is, when you are young you don’t really appreciate it. You are young in body and mind and think you will live forever. Not until you reach a certain age do you fully appreciate what you have. And considering “the alternative” as stated so eloquently by Maurice above, here are my top ten reasons growing older rocks.

1. Best thing ever…Senior Discounts…these are awesome….and you don’t even know most of them even exist. Don’t feel bad about asking for them, we’ve earned them…and more.

2. Younger people excuse you(most of the time anyway) when you say or do something stupid. Because of course, we’re old and don’t know any better… Not that I ever say or do something stupid.

3. People think we know everything about everything!  I guess because we are old and have lived though so much, we must have good advice. The flip side to this is, when some people don’t take the advice we give them… I guess we shouldn’t waste our breath, who knows how many of them we have left.

4. We don’t have to worry or stress about the big choices in life anymore. Like what career choices to make or if we should or shouldn’t have kids.  Most of the big choices have been made by us or for us. We are past that point now and can do what we want. We can work if we choose to work and do what we love to do instead of working to make a paycheck. And at least in my case there are no more kids going to be happening any time soon. Maybe a dog or cat…but that’s it.

5. It is a time in our lives when we truly have learned that looks can only get you so far. It’s not on the outside, it’s what’s inside that matters. So this means we can dress for us and for comfort. I do like to be fashionable, just not every day. If I want to lunge around in my sweats all day, I will.  And no more 4 inch heels for me. I killed my poor feet for far too long.

6. Our relationships with friends and family are real. I think we have come to the point where we have lost so many people and know that we only have so many more years left so the relationships we have in our lives now are the ones we want to be there. So we make time for them and cherish each moment we spend with them. When we were younger, our friends were all going through the having kids thing, the moving for careers thing and various other reasons why we didn’t have time or were in different places in our lives. Now we are for the most part at the same place and we have the time. When we are with family members now, there is an awareness that the time we are spending together is special.

7. The most fun thing ever is that we have time to be with our grandkids, to enjoy them, take them places and then send them home to their parents. Having grandkids is a lot like having kids only so much better because we don’t have the responsibilities we had with our kids. It is not on us to make them come out right. So we can just enjoy them.

8. We can do things we want to now, not because we have to. I have started writing at the age of 65. It is something I always wanted to do. Something I dreamed of doing, but just never seemed to have the time. I wrote as a teenager and then again in my late 20’s but then somehow just never started back up again. But I never lost the desire or the dream. It is never too late and we are never too old!

9. Naps! We can take naps and we can sleep in or go to bed early. There is no alarm waking us up for work. Getting up when I want to get up is the best feeling in the world. Getting up at all is even better.

10. I don’t have to be anywhere on anyone’s schedule but mine. If I want to spend the whole day reading, watching tv or on Facebook, I can do that. I sometimes feel guilty and then I stop and think about it, I deserve this, I earned the right to do what I want when I want. So I do!

These are my top ten. I’m sure I can think of more. I will end with this quote from Bernard Baruch, “To me, old age is always fifteen years older than I am”. I feel the same way.

Are you enjoying getting older? What are some of the reasons you enjoy it?

01Oct/15

Ten Reasons Growing Older Sucks…

No one told me it would be like this!

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This was me, back in the early 80’s..having fun, dancing with friends. Now some 30 years later I’m old…how did this happen? I don’t like it and why didn’t anyone tell me it would be like this?

Here are my top ten reasons why I don’t like it.

1. I have things growing that were not there before and other things that were there falling off or are hardly there.

2. Hair in places where it never was before and where it is supposed to be, there isn’t any(like eyebrows..you thought I meant somewhere else, ha!) And when I say hairs growing where they shouldn’t be I don’t just mean a little hair..I mean, like a foot long hair growing on my chin…and it’s there for days and no one mentioned it. WTH?

3. Losing so many people I care about. I have lost so many people and I am the only one left of my immediate family. This really sucks. I remember my Mom talking about losing so many of her friends and her family and how it affected her, but I didn’t realize what it was like until it happened to me.

4. Dealing with endless long, very long(some have been over an hour, and that isn’t even including the time on hold) phone calls and written info from Medicare, Social Security and health care organizations. Why do I have to pay for something I don’t use? Why isn’t there a better plan for people that aren’t sick and don’t take drugs or medications? I have been dealing with all of this for months and still don’t have answers. It sucks!

5. How time goes by so fast. I remember wanting to be 13, then 16 and 21. I wished so much time away wanting to be older and now it is zooming by faster than the speed of light. Each year goes by faster than the one before.

6. It sucks that I may not get to do all of the things on my bucket list. Not that I can’t, just that time may run out.

7. I hate I can’t remember the name of simple things…like maybe a fork, but I can remember someones daughters name from 40 years ago. And I am hoping and praying that I don’t forget everything and everyone one day in the future.

8. I have more spots on my body than a dalmatian. Also little lumps and bumps appear daily when I look in the mirror and with each new one I think…this is it! This is the one that will do me in…

9. I hate that I may never know the feeling of falling in love again. And that my last love really was my last love. If I would have known that at the time would I have done things differently? Believe me, I am quite happy by myself…it’s just something I think about. Its so final!

10. And last, I hate that my friends and I have turned into our parents. We were sitting at dinner not too long ago and the conversation was about who was on what medication and the tests they just had at the doctors. We talked about what foods bother our stomachs and where we can use our senior discounts. I said, “ok, that’s enough of this…lets talk about fun things”. We laughed ourselves silly when we realized what we sounded like.

It sucks that we are not the hot new thing anymore. To some we aren’t even relevant and they don’t care what we think or have to say or want to listen to our sage advice. But we have a lot to say and a lot to offer those that want to hear it. Lets use our time we have left to enjoy life and show those young whippersnappers what we can do. Our generation changed the world once, let’s do it again.

What do you hate about growing old(er)?

By the way..next week’s blog topic is, Top Ten Things I “love” about growing older…

 

 

13Aug/15

Who Am I??

Its happened, I have truly turned into my parents…

Stop it now...

Stop it now…

 

I don’t know when or how this happened, but it happened. I find myself saying and doing things they did all the time now. Daily, hourly, every few minutes… I just can’t stop it. I want to but I can’t. I have turned into my parents!!

How this is affecting my life and the lives of those who love me (at least they did, maybe not so much anymore) has not been determined yet. But it is affecting them and me. I promise myself to try harder to stop being my parents. But can I?

My my youngest daughter and grandkids are visiting from Vermont this week and I find myself acting like my Dad constantly. Saying things like “turn out that light, stop running in and out the front door, calm down, shut the refrigerator door, do you have to be so loud, you’ll poke your eye out”…and on and on. The words just come out of my mouth and the moment I say them I hear him and want to stop but I can’t.

I wasn’t always like this, I was a fairly normal person for the most part and allowed the kids to be kids, but I have sadly turned into Dad and I can’t go back. Mom wasn’t as bad as Dad. My Father was the one who had no patience at all with kids. That is until I had kids, he was pretty good with them and actually talked to them, I don’t remember ever having a conversation with him unless he was telling me NOT to do something or to lower my voice. I couldn’t do anything right. I tried to be different with my kids, I left them be kids. I wasn’t like this when they were little..or at least I don’t think I was.

Dad did however have his limits, even with my kids. I remember both of my daughters telling me of one particular night they slept over at my parents house, they had been to the mall and each of them got a balloon. They were being kids and playing with the balloons and had named them “Buster”(they got them at the Buster Brown Shoe Store). Of course they were giggling and running around the house with them until Dad just couldn’t take it any longer,  he got up from the sofa went over and ripped the much loved Buster from their tiny little hands and threw them out. I always thought this was such a horrible story. That is until recently. I could so see myself doing this…and maybe even have done something similar.

So I ask, is this normal? Or is something wrong with me? Or could it be due to the fact I have been through so much lately that I have absolutely no patience for anything that is out of my ordinary daily routine? I have had so much chaos, craziness and loss in my life that now I seek peace, calm and a semblance of order. I am not making excuses, I am just saying this is the way it is.

And by the way, this isn’t just happening with my grandkids, I am even doing it with my oldest kid who has moved in with me. I find myself on a daily basis telling her to turn off the light or shut the refrigerator door. She just looks at me and I know what she is thinking. I also yelled at my youngest daughter the other night for jumping around in bed. I thought she was going to have a heart attack. Of course I feel bad after I do these things, but for some reason I just can’t stop myself.

Again I pose this question to you, is this normal? Do you find yourself having less patience as you turn older? Do you find yourself saying and doing more things like your parents? Please tell me I am not alone or crazy!

Are we destined to turn into our parents?

 

 

23Jul/15

“Shop Till You Drop”

Or run out of money…

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As far back as I can remember I have loved to shop. It all began sometime in the early 50’s, Mom would take me and then me and my sister Rhonda downtown every Friday night. We would go to the Bon Ton Tea Room for dinner and “shop till we dropped”. Then happy and fulfilled and loaded down with shopping bags, we would head home on the bus. Thus began my love of shopping.

It still continues, this obsession with shopping. It is my therapy. My thing. Everyone has something, I have shopping. I absolutely love it. I know there are a lot of people who hate shopping, but I’m sure they have something like it in their lives. I have friends these days that get a box full of items sent to them with tops, bottoms and accessories all in the box. Bam! Everything you could possibly need in one box. But what’s the fun in that? Half the fun is in the find! You can quote me on that one.

I usually go with someone, a friend or my daughter. It’s more fun with someone, it’s a social thing. And you have someone that can either talk you out of or into buying something, We got this love of shopping from Mom, it’s her fault we spend. She didn’t  drink, smoke or play cards or anything that women from her day did, she shopped. And she loved it. She passed that love onto me, my sister Rhonda, my nieces and my daughters and now even my grand daughter. My youngest daughter isn’t as obsessed as the oldest and myself, but she does have her moments. They just aren’t as frequent as ours.

Since I am not working I don’t have the excuse of needing new outfits for work. I am trying to simplify and declutter. So the whole shopping thing is not nearly as much fun. When you don’t have an excuse and also don’t have as much money you have to look for a new way to enjoy your “therapy.” My new plan is to carry the items I find and love around the entire time I’m in the store, enjoy it, picture myself wearing it and then put them back before leaving the store. I pretend I am buying them and don’t actually spend the money. It is working so far. I’ve only tried it one time…

Buying things you don’t need or don’t really have the money for is stressful. The short term thrill isn’t worth the depression or regret later. I have been thinking about this since I recently saw an article about “why we have the need to shop”. A few clinical psychologists have done research and found that reason we shop and buy things is a need for a social connection or relationship in one form or another. Also it is known to be a form of anxiety relief. Someone going through a crisis or life transition will shop to release the tension and stressors. (at least until the bill comes due)

The same doctors or whatever they were, went on to say that shopping can be addictive.(duh) And they saw spikes in dopamine activity in the group they were testing. It is especially so when it comes to bargain hunters and events like Black Friday sales. So at least I have a reason and a good one at that, for my love of shopping. It is somewhat comforting to know I have a clinical affliction and therefore can’t help myself from buying that new purse.

It isn’t just women who love to shop, while they are probably the ones that do it the most, there are a lot of men who love to shop too. They just shop for different things…cars, tools, car parts and many kinds of collectable items, like old baseball cards. My son loves tools and would buy them every day if his wife would let him. Seriously..tools?

I also read that successful people wear the same thing every day. Einstein wore grey suits. Steve Jobs wore a black turtleneck. And Mark Zuckerberg wears a tee shirt and jeans every single day. Notice there were no women on this list, I guess it must be a “man thing.” They really have no need to shop and can easily pick items from their closets each morning without stressing about “what to wear.” Again, what’s the fun in that?

And so I’m simplifying and decluttering and not buying as much(well not quite as much). The getting rid of things part is a whole other thing and hard. How do I get rid of that leather jacket I wore to the Aerosmith concert? But, I’ll tell you one thing, I will not give up shopping. You will see me, a little old lady on my scooter, scooting around Walmart, shopping till I drop. On second thought….no, I just can’t do Walmart, no matter how old I am. It will have to be TJMaxx.

Ok, I’ll admit it… my name is Renee and I’m a “Shopaholic”….