Monthly Archives: January 2016

28Jan/16

Surviving The Loss Of A Job…

Lifestyle,

My thoughts on losing the last job I will ever have.

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Next week will mark the one year anniversary of the day I got laid off from my “real” job. A job I loved and where I made a decent salary, had great benefits and made a ton of friends, both in the company and the businesses I serviced. It really was one of the worse days in my life.

I remember the day like it was yesterday. It was a day much like today, still some snow on the ground from the last snow and very cold. We were told to be on a conference call, so I got all my work done, prepared for my store visit that day, showered, ate my breakfast and was dressed waiting to get on the call. I dialed in to the call at 10:00 and by 10:30 (maybe even 10:15) I was unemployed. No explanation, no apologies, no nothing. I was in shock as were the rest us that lost our jobs that day. The rest of the day was spent calling and texting each other to make some sort of sense out of a senseless situation.

There were no signs that this would happen, it truly came out of no where. The company just had another great year. Profits were up (thanks in part to us) and things were going very well. Of course there are always rumblings of something going on at a job and a few changes had already been made but we had been assured we were safe.

The sudden loss of anything forces you to think what you could have done differently, why did this happen to you…and all the other millions of questions that come to mind. I myself had just gone through one of the toughest years of my life, having lost my mother and my sister, my daughter and three grandsons moving over 10 hours away and my best friend moving to Florida. So by the time I got this call I was already done, this just shut the lid on the coffin.

This job was the most favorite job I had ever had!  I told everyone, I saved the best job for last. Being in my 60’s when I was hired, I knew I would retire from this company and that it was indeed the best one to retire from in so many ways. I worked very hard for them, probably harder for them than any other job I ever had. I worked far more hours than I was supposed to, worked long into the night many nights and missed a lot of family and friends gatherings. I also missed watching my grandkids at their sporting events, because of it. But I told myself it was ok, it was for a good reason, I was paid well, I loved it and they valued me. Sadly I found out that was not the case. Losing the job made me realize they never really valued me in the first place or they couldn’t have just thrown me away like they did.

So how do you come back from losses such as this? I admit, I did a lot of feeling sorry for myself the first few days. I did a lot of soul searching, what did I want to do now that I had the time to do it? I was 9 months shy of full retirement, so it would not be easy to find a job at this point in my life and did I really want one? I thought about it a lot while searching the help wanted ads and sending out some resumes. What’s next, what do I do? I always wanted to write and so a week to the day after that terrible phone call, I posted my first blog post. Writing this blog has truly helped me get over all the feelings I was now feeling..those of inadequacy, loss and depression. I also signed up for unemployment and took Social Security in September. I decided to see what retirement was like. I must say it is fabulous.

Here are few final thoughts on the subject:

1. It’s just a job. It doesn’t define you or make you what you are. You can’t find what you are meant to be in any job. This comes from within and it is up to you to decide what that means to you. I have heard people say if you do what you love, you will never work a day in your life. While that may be true, it doesn’t always pay the bills. But we can certainly work for people who value us and enable us to live a life outside of work.

2. I could never make plans while working there. Even short term plans. I hadn’t been able to even schedule a dentist appointment as my schedule was always in flux. Having lunch or dinner with family and friends was really hit or miss. Most of the time even if I made it there at all, I was late. Now I have these regularly and realize what I was missing by working so hard and what I had given up for this company by doing so. I will never give up what is important to me for anyone or anything again.

3. We never know in this life what the next day will bring, so we need to live in the moment we are in right now. This moment… it’s all we have. Make the most of it!  Do what truly brings you happiness and joy. And spend time with the people you love!

I love this quote I found, “Throw me to the wolves and I will return leading the pack.” ~Unknown

 

 

21Jan/16

The Love/Hate Relationship I Have With My Hair

Fashion, Health and Beauty, Humor, Lifestyle,

and how this can be applied to almost anything in your life..

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I am the little girl in the middle of the picture, the one with the scowl on her face. This is my birthday party and I should be happy, but all I can think about is how much I don’t like my hair and how much I want it to be like the other girls in the picture.

How It Began..

My “love/hate” relationship with my hair began in grade school somewhere around 3rd grade. I didn’t mind it much before that or really even pay much attention to my hair or how it looked. However, at some point in 3rd grade, and I remember this as if it happened yesterday, one of my little “girlfriends”  told me my hair looked stupid and that I shouldn’t wear it curly. I was so upset and barely kept myself from crying in front of her. How could I change this? I couldn’t, my hair was naturally curly and there wasn’t a thing I could do about it. I don’t even begin to know how I made it through the rest of the day. And as soon as the bell rang I ran the whole way home crying so hard I could barely see. I ran in the house and told my mother what had happened and repeated to her what the little girl said to me. She tried to calm me down of course and then told me that the little girl was just jealous of my hair and how pretty it was and not to worry about it. Yeah, right!

This love/hate thing with my hair continued through elementary school and high school. My true friends never mentioned it or said what that little wench(being nice here) in the 3rd grade said to me. But there were those times on a rare occasion, like after I walked a mile to school in the rain, when I could see them looking pitifully at my wild, frizzy hair. I never made peace with my hair or should I say, the curls.

Things I  Tried..

You have to know that I went to school in the 50’s and 60’s and curly hair was not in style. Straight hair was the norm and if anything it may have had a flip at the ends but that was it. No curly hair was ever seen in my days at school, so I was it, the lone curly haired girl in the whole entire school. It is hard to be different and very hard to be the only one. I tried everything to make it better or less curly, like sleeping with my hair rolled up in beer cans or ironing it and much later, straightening it. The beer can thing worked…until I walked out of the house on a humid or rainy day. The ironing thing did as well until my mom caught on to what I was doing, especially after the day I burnt both my hair and my neck. I was not allowed to do that anymore and I spent the rest of that day explaining why I had a “love bite” on my neck. The professional straightening thing wasn’t very professional back then so it last maybe a week. But it was a week I truly enjoyed…

We didn’t have the products back in those days like we do now. We had shampoo, conditioner and hair spray. That was it! Oh and also some goopy stuff that was like jello. But believe me when I say these things did not work (on curly hair) and in fact made matters worse. The hair spray we had then was like painting your head with lacquer. And when you went out into the rain or faced the slightest bit of humidity, you would wind up looking like “Medusa” (check her out in Wikipedia)…not a good look or one I wanted to copy. I just wanted “straight hair”…

How I am feeling today..

A few years ago at a class reunion a few girls told me they just loved my hair and how lucky I was that I didn’t have to pay tons of money to have curls. They went on to say they were aways jealous of my hair and wished they had it. Wow, who knew! Certainly not me, the curly haired 8 year old in grade school who ran home crying. It did one thing though, it made me realize that we never know how others are feeling or what they really think about anything. We assume so many things in life and most of the time when we do that we are wrong in our assumptions.

The real lesson I have gotten from this whole thing is that we just need to accept the things we can’t change. And maybe, just maybe even learn to embrace them.

Is there something you have always wanted to change about yourself?

“if you don’t like something, change it; if you can’t change it, change the way you think about it.” ~ Mary Engelbreit

 

14Jan/16

“Respect”…

Lifestyle, Rants, , ,

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“all I’m asking for is a little respect”

I used this line from Aretha Franklin’s song because I thought it was a great one and a good way to start this post about respect or actually the lack of it in today’s world. I am deeply saddened every day when I see stories on the news of how we are treating people, our country, our children and even our animals. How have we somehow lost respect for everything we used to hold so dear?

When I was growing up we respected our elders and got up to let an older person have our seat when they came into the room. We didn’t talk over people and most of the time we weren’t even in the same room where grownup conversations were going on. For the most part we were taught to speak when spoken to. We certainly never talked back and if we did, what happened next sure wasn’t pretty. But we learned from that not to ever do it again. It was called respect.

Our parents and grandparents were respectful of our country and the people who ran  it. Even if they did not agree with the politics or the person holding the office, they showed respect for that office. I can’t ever remember even one time any one of them ever made disparaging remarks about someone in office. Of course they didn’t always agree with that person and they definitely would talk about what needed to be done differently. And just so you know, my grandparents and parents, every one of them, had very strong opinions to be sure, but never did they resort to name calling or making fun of the person in any way. I shudder to think what my Grandpa who taught Sunday School would have to say about the way we speak about our elected officials today.

It started in the home, our respect thing. We had dinner together every single night. My parents would ask how our school day went and we actually talked to each other. No one looked at a book or watched television. If we listened to music it was soft and in the background. We connected and enjoyed our time together. And no one left the table until everyone was finished and certainly if they did it wasn’t without asking if it was ok for us to do so. It was called respect.

We also respected our teachers and law enforcement. People knew there were rules and laws and they knew the consequences of breaking them. If we did at some point break the law or a rule and had to pay the price, we didn’t get a lawyer to sue the state or school because “they” did something wrong. We accepted our role as the one who did wrong and we accepted the punishment.

Our respect of others was always very important and along with that respect was manners. We said excuse me if we bumped into someone, opened doors for people and helped our parents and grandparents without being asked or expecting money for it. We wrote handwritten thank you notes for gifts or at least called the person on the phone and talked to them. It was called respect.

I don’t know when all of this changed. When did we as a people get so caught up in the day to day world of work and life that we seem to have lost respect for everything? We don’t even respect something so simple as the fact that someone may have a different opinion than ours. I would like to see us return to those days when respect was important. It could maybe help us to heal and move forward as a nation and as human beings. At least is would be a great first step.

“Show respect even to people who don’t deserve it; not as a reflection of their character, but as a reflection of yours.” ~ David Willis

07Jan/16

Top Ten Things That Make Me Happy!!

Humor, Lifestyle,

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and no, clowns aren’t one of them…

I think I am a fairly happy person. I am blessed to have wonderful people in my life that make me happy. I also have a few other things that make me happy and here they are:

1. A hug from my grandkids. An added bonus is if they say “I love you Grammy” while hugging me.

2. Exercising. I know this usually isn’t fun and there are days when I don’t want to do it, but it does make me feel happy when I am done! And then I don’t feel so bad eating that bowl of ice cream.

3. Food..any kind of home cooked meal, meals made by someone other than me, the afore mentioned ice cream and a good cup of coffee( I know coffee isn’t food)..also a good glass of Moscato( I know this isn’t food either)

4. The Beach, the smell of the sea, the feel of the sun and spray of the ocean on my skin and just way it relaxes me like no other place on earth.

5. My friends, getting together with them for lunch or dinner and talking and laughing about stupid things. Even texting or chatting with them on Facebook.

6. Spending time with family, especially my kids, my grandkids and my nieces.

7. Shopping. Anyone that knows me knows I love to shop! (note:I must really love it because I write out my blog on paper before I write it here and had shopping down twice). I absolutely love the thrill of finding a bargain. I guess I got that from my Mom.

8. Writing. My new favorite pastime. I always loved writing and even did it from time to time in years past. But since I retired now I have more time to concentrate on it and am loving it even more! It brings me so much joy to put my thoughts down on paper. It’s good to finally have an outlet for all the things I have been carrying around inside my head!

9. Dancing and music. Live music most of all. I used to go dancing at least once a week or even more. I haven’t danced in so long I don’t know if I still can. I plan on changing that this year! Who’s up for dancing?

10. And finally my new Happy Light! I know I have some degree of “SAD”..because I get very sad when we have shorter days and less sun. So I read up on these lights and got one and I must say it does make me “happy.”


“Happiness is like a kiss. You must share it to enjoy it” ~ Bernard Meltzer  I hope I do!

What makes you happy?