Tag Archives: #weird

07Jun/18
wreath in the ocean

Weird Things Are Everywhere…

Humor, Life, ,

even at the beach…

wreath in the ocean

Oh no, I lost my wreath in the ocean…

My oldest daughter took me to the beach last weekend to get away from all the things that are making my life just a bit too much right now. I needed to breathe the sea air and feel the sun…although we weren’t sure we would have sun since the forecast was calling for rain the entire time. That is one of the things I needed to get away from..the constant rain and dreariness here at home. Having said that, the weather gods were looking out for us… because the sun came out every day but one and I got to sit on the beach and feed my soul.

On the way to the beach and while we were there we encountered some things that made me laugh out loud and I so needed to laugh. I haven’t had much to laugh about lately…but that’s another story. This one is just about the funny, weird things we saw while driving there and at the beach.

A business sign – While most business signs are not usually funny, this one was. The sign on the store said, “Perfect Furniture.” In front on the store was a sofa that was falling apart. Not sure if it was for sale or they had it sitting out for the trash collector, but it struck me funny…it clearly was not “perfect.”

A rabbit – Most of the time rabbits are not funny..unless they are in a cartoon. But as we were driving along I had to do a double take when I saw a huge rabbit lying on the hood of a car. And yes it was alive because it moved. I guess it was the family pet?? But most of the time pet rabbits are in a cage not relaxing on the roof of the car.

A flashing sign – One day as we drove over to the beach, there was one of those flashing signs sitting along the rode…the sign said, “Limited Lifeguards.” That’s it, just those two words. Made me chuckle and think…why are they limited? Did it mean they didn’t have enough of them or they were limited in what they could do… various other thoughts come to mind..

A clerks name – My daughter and I both love “Life is Good” tee shirts and we always stop in our favorite shop to see if they have any new ones we might like. Of course they did and I bought one. It was a beach chair on the beach and under it were the words, “unplug”…perfect. When I got back to the house I looked at the receipt and it said, your clerks name is “Miracle Handy”…had I known this while I was in the store I would have asked her for one.

Zoltar – I’m not sure if any of you are familiar with Zoltar, the fortune telling machine. You find them on the boardwalk in most beach towns. Also if you have ever watched the movie “Big” with Tom Hanks, it is the machine that granted his wish to be “big.” Anyway, it is a tradition in our family that whenever we see one we get our fortune told by Zoltar. I put my money in and waited…(he always talks to you before printing out your fortune)…and then he says, “live for today..for tomorrow you may be dead.” A guy walking along the boardwalk comes running over and says, did he say what I think he said, “did he just say, live for today, for tomorrow you may be dead.” I said, yes he said that…and the best part is.. he said that to me last year as well… I guess I need to listen to him, as he really wants me to “get” that message!

Juan – a few years ago when I was working for a jewelry company, I serviced stores at the beach. I would spend 2 or 3 days at a time down there and went out to dinner by myself every night. I had a favorite mexican restaurant down there I always went to and still do. There was a waiter that usually waited on me and we chatted every time I went there. He worried about me since I was always alone. I told him i worked down there and that is why I was alone. So I took my family there once and he came running up and said, “Oh, I am so happy, you do have friends.” We all laughed, but he really was genuinely happy for me. I haven’t seen him for quite some time. We went there last weekend for dinner and all of the sudden he shows up at our table. He looked at us and said I thought that was you. He told us he hadn’t been working at this particular restaurant, he was working at one of their other ones and going to school. We chatted for awhile and he made us friends on FB so we wouldn’t lose touch again. It really was so great to see him again! When we left my daughter looked at me and said…”that was Juan right? I wasn’t sure if that was the right “juan” or not.” If you don’t get it, say it out loud…she didn’t mean it to be funny, but it sure was.

A glove and a wreath – I saw a glove on the beach, it had just washed up on the shore. I’m not sure what that means and why I saw it. If you know me… I am always looking for signs. A glove keeps your hand warm and protects it from the cold. This was a work type glove, so I’m guessing it was sending me a message that I am protected. At least that is what I chose to believe. Now the wreath…wreaths on doors are a decoration…a welcome to all that visit. A wreath floating in the water means…welcome to the beach?? Oh..my gosh, as I was typing this I got it…I got the message…you are home…welcome home!

There were many other weird things that happened but these are some of the best. And even though there are some things going on in my life that I am having some  trouble with…there is one thing for sure, my life far from boring. And it helps to laugh!

“If you just go with the flow, no matter what weird things happen along the way, you always end up exactly where you belong.” ~ Tom Upton

04Apr/18
funny guy

Just Some Funny Weird Stuff…

Humor, ,

just because we need to laugh..

funny guy

make me laugh…

I had a bazillion(maybe not a bazillion) other things I was going to write about but I just needed to laugh and I don’t think I’m the only one. It seems like there is something in the air, the full moon from the weekend is still creating havoc or just the way the world is right now. Anyway, I decided to write my post today about things I have been collecting for awhile now and write in my book every time I see something weird or funny.

“From there to here, and here to there, funny things are everywhere.” ~ Dr. Seuss

And here it is:

  1. Buy Exhaust Here… I see this on a sign whenever I go back home to Pennsylvania to see family or friends…the sign says…Buy Exhaust Here…I don’t even know which is weirder, that you would sell it or that someone would buy it. If for some unknown reason you would want some couldn’t you just put a plastic bag over your exhaust pipe? I dunno…its just weird.
  2. Tattoos While You Wait… There is a tattoo parlor that I go by daily on my walks in our little town. I have lived here for 10 years and just a few weeks ago the sign out front struck me funny. Of course you would wait for your tattoo…I mean you can’t really leave your arm or leg… or boob there while you go shopping and come back for it later now can you?
  3. Ax Throwing Gaining Popularity in bars… Oh yeah, great…just what we need a bunch of drunk people throwing axes in bars. Need I say more…
  4. The Cochran Firm… This is the firm of the now deceased Johnnie Cochran that represented OJ. Johnnie passed away 13 years ago but in the ads on tv for the law firm…he lives. If they just had a small picture of him it would be fine, but they show a video of him talking. I really don’t mean any disrespect…honestly I don’t. But really, is it me or does this just seem a little creepy? Since I live in MD  and the law firm is in DC…the ad is on quite frequently.
  5. Ted Cruz posing for a picture with a “fan”…. Now this wouldn’t be weird except that the woman he was posing with was wearing a sign that said, “Texas deserves better than Cruz.” Maybe..and this is good advice for all of us… you should really look at someone before agreeing to have your photo taken with them.
  6. Danger, Men at Work sign… I see these signs quite a lot since it seems they are always working on the roads down here in Maryland…however when I saw a sign last week it got me thinking…why is it dangerous for men to be working…what are they doing that is dangerous…why don’t you ever see a sign that says, Danger, Women at Work? Are men just naturally more dangerous…or are women just more cautious?
  7. Gender Reveal Parties… Ugh…I just don’t get it, sorry. Back in my day(yeah, I know) we didn’t even know what we were having until we had it! Now everyone knows what they are having and not only that, they have to have a party(a huge frickin party) to let everyone know and share in the excitement. I read a story awhile back where this couple took the sealed envelope from the doctor to the bakery and told them to put the color pink or blue depending on the sex inside the cake. When they cut the cake it looked like pink….everyone at the party cheered and they all were very happy. Upon looking closer at pictures of the cake the icing looked white.. The couple then opened the second envelope the doctor have given them…just in case. It said, “it’s a boy.” Needless to say they were a little upset with the bakery.
  8. “My late husband died”… I was reading an article last week and the woman they were talking to was quoted as saying this line. I had to think about it for a few minutes… if he was her “late” husband, wouldn’t that also mean that he would have to have died? Again, is it me or is the statement redundant?
  9. If Door Does Not Open..Do Not Enter… this was a real sign on a door at a shop I was going to. I mean, if the door doesn’t open then I guess you can’t go in…or you may have to knock…3 times…LOL.. or call them or scream loudly… “let me in.”  Or is the door somehow connected to a secret buzzer and the owner has something fishy going on in there…again…I dunno!
  10. Please prepay in advance… another sign on the counter at a store I was shopping at… so if I’m buying a few items I have to know exactly what I’m going to get before I actually get them and pay for them before actually knowing what they are….does that make sense…no… well neither does your sign.

These were some of the funny, weird things I had on my list. I hope you enjoyed them. There are a lot more.. but I’ll save them for another day, another time. Do you see funny or weird stuff or is it just me?

“To succeed in life, you need three things: a wishbone, a backbone and a funny bone.” ~ Reba McEntire

06Sep/17
searching

Weird Things I Saw At Work Last Week!

Humor, Life, , ,

and this was just one week people….ONE!

searching

did you see that?

I haven’t felt much like writing lately. I have things I want to write about but some how I’m just not feeling it. I can honestly say this is the first time in over my 2 years of writing here on my little blog that I don’t feel like writing. There is so much going on around us right now in the world…hatred, fires, floods and so much more…that it is so hard to write something that is meaningful or uplifting. I thought about it a bit more and then I just decided on “silly.” I see so many weird things everyday while at the mall and working in the store that there are tons to choose from. Here are just a few things I saw last week. Enjoy! Hope I can make you smile. 🙂

1. Man with a Q Tip – A man was slowly walking around the cosmetic counter with his wife..looking at everything on it for quite awhile. I finally saw him reach in one of the containers and pull out a Q Tip…I thought to myself..oh no, he isn’t even..but yes, yes he did. Right in the middle of the cosmetic section he put the thing in his ear and began to wiggle it around. Then pulled the offending object out and stared at it. I had to look away so I don’t know what he did with it. And I really didn’t want to know.

2. The Stroller –  A lady with a child in a stroller, one of the mall owned strollers came by by counter and stood there for a while looking and smelling the various fragrances we have. I looked down at the child and on the back of the stroller was a bag attached there for the customers to put their purchases in. That was fine, what was weird was the sentence written in large letters on that bag. “Please don’t put your child in this bag.” Really, it has come to this…a mother doesn’t know not to put her child in this small bag on the back of a stroller..

3. Toilet Paper Roll – As I was walking around the store one day last week I spied something laying in the middle of the aisle. As I got closer I could see it was a roll of toilet paper. This made me think…did someone need this so badly they took it from the bathroom, used it and then discarded it out there on the floor? Or did they bring it from home and do the same? Neither of these choices seem like good ones to me.

4. Couples on the escalator –  I see this happening all the time not just this week. a couple is going up or down the escalator together and they start making out. I mean really making out. Please tell me what is so exciting about riding the escalator that it turns you on and you need to make out right there in front of everyone else riding it. I ride up and down the darn thing all the time and it doesn’t do jack for me!

5. People wearing weird stuff – I have see some weird clothing styles and people wearing things they really shouldn’t forever..but recently it seems to have gotten so much worse. I don’t even know where these people are finding the things they wear! Weirdos R Us maybe?

6. Kids on the escalator – I see this all the time too! Kids running up and down the wrong way on the escalator. Little kids, like 4 year olds. They fall and get back up and do it again. No parents in sight of course. I can’t stand to watch it so I turn and walk away. Why don’t I say something you ask? Well I used to…that is until once a little one about 4 or 5 was doing this and I said, “please stop doing that you might get hurt”..the Mother heard me and finally ran over and screamed at me to stop yelling at her child. I told her I didn’t want to see her child get hurt and that in fact I wasn’t yelling. She stared at me, pulled the child off the escalator and stormed away.

7. Men Spraying Women’s Perfume – this wouldn’t be weird except for the fact they aren’t spraying it on a card so they can smell it, they are spraying it all over themselves. I casually tell them this is women’s perfume…to which they reply..yes, I know. I often wonder what the wife says when they get home….

8. Kids Skateboarding –  In the store. This is a department store I am talking about. It is bad enough people come through with their ice cream cones and whatever else they may be eating and put their dirty hands all over the clothing…but kids skateboarding through the store. Thank heavens that the “sneakers with the rollers” thing has passed because that was really annoying…so is skateboarding,

9. Woman Wearing a Tent – I’m not talking about a big dress or moo moo type dress as we used to call them, I am talking about an actual tent. She had a white tent on, as a dress. I mean maybe I missed the memo about the newest and greatest style ever…tent dresses… but I didn’t see or hear about this one. It may have it’s benefits due to the fact you can go camping immediately after shopping. Also, I really wish I could take pictures of these things, but I’m afraid I will be caught and then screamed at by someone. You can’t make this stuff up. Really, you can’t!

10. A Cat – I have discussed the whole “service dog” thing here before, I believe people need them and they are worthwhile. Is a Chihuahua a service dog, I don’t think so but that isn’t why we came here… I was working the other day, everything kinda quiet and then all of the sudden I heard my coworker scream. I looked over at her and she says…loudly I might add…”Cat”..I see a woman carrying her cat through the store. She was not happy that my co worker screamed and gently hugged her cat and walked away. I thought that was the end of it and that we must now have an Animal Hospital in the mall. But no, she kept walking around with this cat in her arms. and continued to walk by my poor coworker who is deathly scared of cats. So each time she did, my coworker screamed and the woman stared. Thankfully the event did not go on for too much longer and the woman and her “service cat” left the building. Again, you can’t make this stuff up!

There you have it, my “weird things I saw” list from last week. What is the weirdest thing you ever saw at work? I will be keeping track of these things and report back should there continue to be more weirdness…and I’m sure there will be.

“If you just go with the flow, no matter what weird things happen along the way, you will always end up exactly where you belong.” ~ Tom Upton

 

12Jan/17
questions anyone?

Weird Sayings That Make No Sense

Humor, Life, ,

and I mean they make no sense at all…

questions anyone?

Huh??

The other day I heard someone say, “That is cheap at half the price.” Huh? What does that even mean? Ok, I know what it means but why say that? Why not just say, “that’s an excellent price for that top.”  So having heard that got me to thinking about all the other weird sayings I have heard over the years and I have come up with a list. Here are some of the dumbest sayings I can think of.

  1. “I am under the weather” – ok, I know it means you aren’t feeling well but really what does this saying mean….A cloud came down and is pressing on you…snow fell on your head…how do you get “under” the weather?
  2. “Happy as a clam” –  Just how do we know clams are happy? Have you spoken to one lately? Maybe they aren’t happy at all, maybe, just maybe… they don’t like being in that shell.
  3. “He really tied one on last night” – I know it means someone got drunk. But what did they “tie” on to get that way? I may have gotten a little drunk in my day but I don’t think I ever had anything tied on me when I woke up (well at least not that I recall).
  4. “You need that like you need a hole in your head” – Ok, I get this one. You really don’t need that $200 purse..but then just say that. Of course we don’t need a hole in our head. Got it!
  5. “I knew him since he was knee high to a grasshopper” – Do you even know how small that would make someone be? I’m guessing you knew them since they were a fetus. And maybe you did.
  6. “Up Sh*t Creek without a paddle” – First of all i would not be putting my canoe or kayak in a sh*t filled creek. End of story.
  7. “If that don’t beat the band” – I really don’t get this one at all, I have no clue what this means. Who wants to beat a band? Bands do have the “beat” but don’t think that is what it’s about… No clue.
  8. “He made it by the skin of his teeth” – Since we have no skin on our teeth, how did he make it? Guess he didn’t..
  9. “It’s like trying to find a needle in a haystack” – Got it, it’s hard to find.. but who put the needle in there in the first place?
  10. “He who laughs last, laughs best” – Why does he laugh best? Maybe he just didn’t get it and laughed anyway.
  11. “I’m off like a dirty shirt” – My daughter always liked this one but I don’t get it. Does it mean you are going somewhere fast… cause I would take a dirty shirt off pretty quickly? I don’t know. Do you?
  12. “Can’t see the forest for the trees” – Huh? The trees are the forest. The forest has trees. Just don’t get it.
  13. “She is dressed to the 9’s” – Does this mean she almost was a 10 and missed it?
  14. “It is what it is” – I absolutely hate this saying. What does this mean? Of course it is what it is. It is totally redundant. I had a boss who used to say this all the time and I really could have smacked her. Did I say I hate this one?
  15. “Six of one, half dozen of the other” – Sometimes you really just need to say this. It means that it is even. So it does make sense. My daughter hates when I say this. So I say it a lot. LOL! My other daughter hates when I ask rhetorical questions. So I do that a lot too!
  16. “Colder than a witches tit” –  How does anyone know this? Who has ever done it? I have to admit I do use this one from time to time. To me it means it is really really cold. I like this one.

I know there are a million more and maybe you have a favorite that you can share in the comments. Do you use any of the ones I have on the list? Do you ever wonder why we say them? I wonder about a lot of things.

“Tis better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all.” – Alfred Lord Tennyson  I think this is kind of a weird saying(quote) and to tell you the truth I am not completely sold on this one, Alfred.