and I mean they make no sense at all…

Huh??

The other day I heard someone say, “That is cheap at half the price.” Huh? What does that even mean? Ok, I know what it means but why say that? Why not just say, “that’s an excellent price for that top.”  So having heard that got me to thinking about all the other weird sayings I have heard over the years and I have come up with a list. Here are some of the dumbest sayings I can think of.

1. “I am under the weather” – ok, I know it means you aren’t feeling well but really what does this saying mean….A cloud came down and is pressing on you…snow fell on your head…how do you get “under” the weather?
2. “Happy as a clam” –  Just how do we know clams are happy? Have you spoken to one lately? Maybe they aren’t happy at all, maybe, just maybe… they don’t like being in that shell.
3. “He really tied one on last night” – I know it means someone got drunk. But what did they “tie” on to get that way? I may have gotten a little drunk in my day but I don’t think I ever had anything tied on me when I woke up (well at least not that I recall).
4. “You need that like you need a hole in your head” – Ok, I get this one. You really don’t need that $200 purse..but then just say that. Of course we don’t need a hole in our head. Got it!
5. “I knew him since he was knee high to a grasshopper” – Do you even know how small that would make someone be? I’m guessing you knew them since they were a fetus. And maybe you did.
6. “Up Sh*t Creek without a paddle” – First of all i would not be putting my canoe or kayak in a sh*t filled creek. End of story.
7. “If that don’t beat the band” – I really don’t get this one at all, I have no clue what this means. Who wants to beat a band? Bands do have the “beat” but don’t think that is what it’s about… No clue.
8. “He made it by the skin of his teeth” – Since we have no skin on our teeth, how did he make it? Guess he didn’t..
9. “It’s like trying to find a needle in a haystack” – Got it, it’s hard to find.. but who put the needle in there in the first place?
10. “He who laughs last, laughs best” – Why does he laugh best? Maybe he just didn’t get it and laughed anyway.
11. “I’m off like a dirty shirt” – My daughter always liked this one but I don’t get it. Does it mean you are going somewhere fast… cause I would take a dirty shirt off pretty quickly? I don’t know. Do you?
12. “Can’t see the forest for the trees” – Huh? The trees are the forest. The forest has trees. Just don’t get it.
13. “She is dressed to the 9’s” – Does this mean she almost was a 10 and missed it?
14. “It is what it is” – I absolutely hate this saying. What does this mean? Of course it is what it is. It is totally redundant. I had a boss who used to say this all the time and I really could have smacked her. Did I say I hate this one?
15. “Six of one, half dozen of the other” – Sometimes you really just need to say this. It means that it is even. So it does make sense. My daughter hates when I say this. So I say it a lot. LOL! My other daughter hates when I ask rhetorical questions. So I do that a lot too!
16. “Colder than a witches tit” –  How does anyone know this? Who has ever done it? I have to admit I do use this one from time to time. To me it means it is really really cold. I like this one.

I know there are a million more and maybe you have a favorite that you can share in the comments. Do you use any of the ones I have on the list? Do you ever wonder why we say them? I wonder about a lot of things.

“Tis better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all.” – Alfred Lord Tennyson  I think this is kind of a weird saying(quote) and to tell you the truth I am not completely sold on this one, Alfred.