Which way do you go and was it the right way?
a fork in the road… oh wait, its a lake!
Have there been times in your life when you had to make a decision on something very minor at the time, but it actually changed the course of your life? I was at dinner with friends recently and we were discussing this very thing. How one small decision totally changed their life and what would have happened if we took the other “road.” How do we know if we made the right choices?
We all had stories that night where we knew that we had made a critical decision that changed the course of our lives, but we also all decided we didn’t know at the time how truly life changing it would be. Would we make those same choices today? That is a hard one to answer. We only know what we have now and who really knows what would have happened had we taken the other “road.”
I myself have had quite a few of these “forks” in my life. I have a rather large collection of them and am now ready to sell them or give them away at this point in my life. I know I have had many times where I made a decision in the spur of the moment and it affected my life, but the conversation at dinner made me look at the ones that stand out as important to me and my life as it is today. Here are the top 3 decisions I have made that altered the course of my life.
The number one decision I made that changed my life…
The one choice I made that has had the biggest impact on my life was when I got pregnant at 15. I was scared and I was so young and had my whole life ahead of me. But I chose to keep my child and get married to the child’s father. Looking back on that now I know I made the right decision. There has never been a moment that I regretted this and I am so grateful for having the guts to do it. There weren’t many girls who were raising babies and married at 16 in my town in the 60’s. So it was hard, and truly changed the course of my life forever.
Did I make the right choice? Unequivocally yes! I love my children and I can’t even think of what my life would be without them.
The second most life changing decision I made….
When I was dating my children’s father I once had a huge fight with him and I broke up with him. It was during the summer I was 15 and before I found out I was pregnant. Another guy friend found out I broke up with my boyfriend and asked me to go out with him. I said yes. I always liked him and thought why not I need to move on and this was a good way to do that. (remember I was only 15) The next day my boyfriend came to the house and we made up, he gave me his ring and he went away for the weekend with his friends, so I had to call the other guy and tell him I couldn’t go. We were both sad that our date wouldn’t happen.
Did I make the right choice? Yes! I have thought about this many times over the years and how it could have changed my life. Not who the date was with particularly, but the fact that I wouldn’t have married the man who would father my children. Again, my children are so very important in my life and anything that would have changed that regardless of the man I married to get them would not have been good. You may say I may have had a happy life and other children with the other guy, but I may not. The kids I have and grandchildren from this choice is definitely worth all I went through.
The third most life changing decision I made…
My move to Frederick, Maryland with my then live in boyfriend. This was a very hard decision for me. I was leaving behind my family and friends and everything I ever knew as my life at 36. But it seemed like the right time to do this. There was a lot of stress in my life from my recent divorce and I thought a fresh start was a good thing at that time of my life. My boyfriend getting transferred to Frederick was to me at that time a sign and it seemed like a good place to do that. It was only an hour and a half away so it wasn’t like I was moving across the country or anything.
Did I make the right choice? Yes again! I needed to start fresh, and to do that I had to get away from everything I knew and the life I had in Pennsylvania. I was excited and scared all at the same time. I had a chance to reinvent myself. I only knew one other person in Frederick besides my boyfriend. So I went out and met new people and became what I always wanted to be a “business woman.” When I left my home town I was a waitress, And while there is nothing wrong with that and it served its purpose for me money wise and being able to spend time with the kids, it wasn’t something I wanted to continue to doing. My positions in Frederick allowed me to be on a course where I opened my own store. My life dream was fulfilled. Not everyone can say that, so yes, I made the right choice.
We all make choices, every single day. Some of the ones we make affect us our whole lives. I am happy with all the choices I have made and don’t regret a single one. What about you? Have you come to a fork in the road and had to make a decision? Did you make the right one?
“The choices that you make in your life will make your life. Choose wisely.” ~ Michael Josephson
Thank you for sharing your decisions that changed your life in the past. I made a huge decision in my life and I never regret it. I broke up with my ex after being together for many years and then I pursued the career I always wanted. To be honest, the most important thing is to never regret decisions from the past. There were times I said “Why you did this back then?” to come and realize that I did the best I could. Just follow your instinct and trust your inner voice!
Zaria
Thank you Zaria! All we can do is do the best we can in any moment…And have no regrets! Thank you for sharing your comments with me…
I’m thankful that I do have a choice when it comes to making decisions. There are quite a few decisions that I’ve made that I feel has shaped my life in a huge way. Some are good and some are not so good.
So true Marielle! Thank you for commenting.
Sometimes I don`t even register that my decision was so big in my life. Then, after some time when I look back it makes me nostalgic and I think what could be. But we should always look into the future. Dwelling on past is not very good, if you do that for long. Anyway, I see life as one big series of coincidences we are thrown at. Definitely something to think about.
Sidney Aldaine http://www.sidfantasma.blogspot.com
Thank you for your comments Sidney. I try not to look back but when I do I have no regrets and that is a good thing. Sometimes we need to look back to see how far we have come….
Loved hearing about these important turning points in your life. I think it’s really good to think about the ‘forks’ in our life, it helps us get some insight into who we are today, and how we got here. I’m definitely grateful for some of the forks in my life!
Thank you Dave and yes you are right, those forks did shape us. Thanks again!
I haven’t thought so much about the forks in my life. They’re such pivotal moments that I don’t always pay attention to. I appreciate this post because it reminds me to remember those times where decisions changed the course of my life. But even more, I love how honest you are with this. You’ve expressed significant moments in your life to help others focus on theirs and that is amazing!
Danielle, thank you so much for the kind comments. And you are right, we all need to remember those pivotal moments, because they made us who we are today!
How thought provoking! I’m glad you can look back at your choices and appreciate the path they laid out for you and be grateful for the aftermath. Regret is poison to the soul!
Thank you Amy! And you are so right, it is a terrible thing to look back on our lives with regret! I am glad I have none.
I like to torture myself about the choices I’ve made. Well, not really “like” but I do it anyway. I make a choice, then agonize over it and “what ifs”. It’s part of my personality, being raised in my childhood church where guilt was a big thing. Also I do have a touch of perfectionism, so I always wonder if I made the right choice. But it’s not helpful, so I really need to drop this characteristic!
Yes Vicki you do. I have learned to make peace with my choices and believe me they weren’t easy ones to make, but I have never looked back. Hope you can peace with yours…Thanks for sharing your story…
My fork was moving to Vegas 75/25 I still miss family in York
Some are harder than others Sharon! Thanks for sharing…
Love this , nice to look back and think about .
Thank you Jane! And yes, it is…
I suppose the biggest choice I ever made was to forget about journalism school and attend nursing school. I made this decision based on a current boyfriend – who was out of my life before the three years of nursing education were completed. But in that process I met my husband of 30+ years, had two great kids, been involved in some amazing adventures and returned to writing. There are days, when work sucks, that I question that first big decision – but I wouldn’t be where I am today if I had chosen my original path. And I love where I am today.
And that is all that matters Laura…that you love where you are today and so your journey getting to this point was worth it.Thank you for sharing your story.
There are so many times I’ve thought what if I went the other path. But ultimately the decisions we make are the paths we wanted more and every decision we’ve made along the way has shaped us into who we are today!
I have too Rachel, but you are right, after all is said and done, we took the path we wanted and we are who we are because of it. thanks for your comments!
I think that for me anyway, it’s not so much about wondering if I made the right decisions, but learning to live with choices. Regrets aren’t a good thing to have… you can’t change the past. I guess you’re essentially saying that you’ve accepted your past choices, which is healthy I think! I try to learn from my past mistakes and not repeat them. I guess there’s a lesson in everything if you look hard enough.
Natasha, I think at this point in my life and being quite a bit older now, I was looking back and thought about the choices I made and that they were the right ones for me and that I have no regrets. Thanks for your comments.
Hmm, I pondered a bit, but I guess like you my #1 choice which probably defined my life entirely, was I got pregnant FIRST time I had sex. I married him, but my true love was my high school sweetheart Denny, and when he went in the service, he cheated on me, so we broke up and I met Sam and he was my FIRST. Denny came home, found out I was prego and begged me to marry him, that he’d accept the baby, etc. but I was so mad at him for cheating on me, that I said no. I married Sam. Did I make the right decision has always been on my mind. Sam and I only lasted two years, we are still best friends and close, but I sometimes wonder where would I be now, had I took Denny up on his proposal? Probably not in PA cause he lived in Ohio. Sad part, he passed away in his 40’s, so if I had, I’d be a widow had we stayed together..but next question…would we have stayed together? So honestly, I can’t say I regret any decisions I’ve made in the past,. Except ONE…SMOKING. I didn’t start till i was 34 and that was because of a MAN also, lmao. That is the ONE ROAD I wish I wouldn’t have taken. They say you live and learn from your mistakes, and I agree. I have a great life, a great family and I’m a happy woman in most respects, so no, I don’t regret anything, except that one bad habit. And I’m happy that you feel the same way in your life. I know we know some others that can’t say they MADE THE RIGHT CHOICES, lololol…no names mentioned…..Love ya.
Love your comment Susie! Maybe if you married denny he wouldn’t have died…guess we will never know…and I wish you didn’t take up smoking ether…Luv you too!
Good to look back and see that yes we do make good choices for us. Not someone else, but for us. Love the photo of the fork.
Thank you so much for your comments Candy! I think all the choices I have made so far have been good ones! thankfully..
Great post – very nice to think about first thing in the morning : )
Thank you so much for the nice comment Lindsay!
The best thing about your life is that you are living without regret. It could have been so different, but you did what felt right to you. I’ve also had various forks in my road. One was my relationship with a young man I met in college. We were of different faiths, something that was also an obstacle back in the early 1970’s. We decided we were for each other, continued the relationship as it deepened, and have not regretted it. We have been married 41 years.
Alana, Thank you so much for commenting and sharing your own story. I am happy that it worked out for you both. Congrats!
You always have a choice! I just heard Red say that several times during the last episode! Your blog has shown who you are once again. You are a strong woman and you did well with your choices. “No regrets” is a powerful statement! You can certainly find JOY in that. Good job my friend!
My biggest fork would have involved deceit if I’d chosen it! I didn’t and being truthful lets me live in peace!
Thank you Joanie! We do always have a choice, I think some people don’t believe that to be true, but I do. I know I am lucky and so blessed in my life that I can say I have “no regrets”…Thanks again… <3