Which way do you go and was it the right way?

a fork in the road… oh wait, its a lake!

Have there been times in your life when you had to make a decision on something very minor at the time, but it actually changed the course of your life? I was at dinner with friends recently and we were discussing this very thing. How one small decision totally changed their life and what would have happened if we took the other “road.” How do we know if we made the right choices?

We all had stories that night where we knew that we had made a critical decision that changed the course of our lives, but we also all decided we didn’t know at the time how truly life changing it would be. Would we make those same choices today? That is a hard one to answer. We only know what we have now and who really knows what would have happened had we taken the other “road.”

I myself have had quite a few of these “forks” in my life. I have a rather large collection of them and am now ready to sell them or give them away at this point in my life. I know I have had many times where I made a decision in the spur of the moment and it affected my life, but the conversation at dinner made me look at the ones that stand out as important to me and my life as it is today. Here are the top 3 decisions I have made that altered the course of my life.

The number one decision I made that changed my life…

The one choice I made that has had the biggest impact on my life was when I got pregnant at 15. I was scared and I was so young and had my whole life ahead of me. But I chose to keep my child and get married to the child’s father. Looking back on that now I know I made the right decision. There has never been a moment that I regretted this and I am so grateful for having the guts to do it. There weren’t many girls who were raising babies and married at 16 in my town in the 60’s. So it was hard, and truly changed the course of my life forever.

Did I make the right choice? Unequivocally yes! I love my children and I can’t even think of what my life would be without them.

The second most life changing decision I made….

When I was dating my children’s father I once had a huge fight with him and I broke up with him. It was during the summer I was 15 and before I found out I was pregnant. Another guy friend found out I broke up with my boyfriend and asked me to go out with him. I said yes. I always liked him and thought why not I need to move on and this was a good way to do that. (remember I was only 15) The next day my boyfriend came to the house and we made up, he gave me his ring and he went away for the weekend with his friends, so I had to call the other guy and tell him I couldn’t go. We were both sad that our date wouldn’t happen.

Did I make the right choice? Yes! I have thought about this many times over the years and how it could have changed my life. Not who the date was with particularly, but the fact that I wouldn’t have married the man who would father my children. Again, my children are so very important in my life and anything that would have changed that regardless of the man I married to get them would not have been good. You may say I may have had a happy life and other children with the other guy, but I may not. The kids I have and grandchildren from this choice is definitely worth all I went through.

The third most life changing decision I made…

My move to Frederick, Maryland with my then live in boyfriend. This was a very hard decision for me. I was leaving behind my family and friends and everything I ever knew as my life at 36. But it seemed like the right time to do this. There was a lot of stress in my life from my recent divorce and I thought a fresh start was a good thing at that time of my life. My boyfriend getting transferred to Frederick was to me at that time a sign and it seemed like a good place to do that. It was only an hour and a half away so it wasn’t like I was moving across the country or anything.

Did I make the right choice? Yes again! I needed to start fresh, and to do that I had to get away from everything I knew and the life I had in Pennsylvania. I was excited and scared all at the same time. I had a chance to reinvent myself. I only knew one other person in Frederick besides my boyfriend. So I went out and met new people and became what I always wanted to be a “business woman.”  When I left my home town I was a waitress, And while there is nothing wrong with that and it served its purpose for me money wise and being able to spend time with the kids, it wasn’t  something I wanted to continue to doing. My positions in Frederick allowed me to be on a course where I opened my own store. My life dream was fulfilled. Not everyone can say that, so yes, I made the right choice.

We all make choices, every single day. Some of the ones we make affect us our whole lives. I am happy with all the choices I have made and don’t regret a single one. What about you? Have you come to a fork in the road and had to make a decision? Did you make the right one?

“The choices that you make in your life will make your life. Choose wisely.” ~ Michael Josephson