is that even possible at my age…
Like in this picture, see how much fun I am having…
That’s me in the center in the blue dress. Don’t I look like I’m having fun? I must have been, it was my birthday. So I should have been… But was I? Evidently my mom wanted everyone to and was passing out little boxes of it because as you can clearly see, the little girl in yellow has one. Maybe I didn’t get one and that is why I was so upset. Or maybe.. I just didn’t like my hat!
I did have fun as a child even though most of my pictures don’t show that side of me. We played outside all day long and didn’t go in until the sun went down. And we were never bored. I also had lots of fun as a teenager, while most kids in their teens have that teenage angst.. I really don’t remember ever having that. I’m sure my parents would most likely disagree with that statement but I just didn’t.. I had fun. I wasn’t sitting around in my room playing on my phone like kids today, I was out having fun with friends.
Ok, maybe I was having a little too much fun since I got pregnant and was married at 15, but whatever, it all turned out ok. I had 3 beautiful kids before getting a divorce when I was 27. The kids were older and because I never really had most of my teenage years I had them when I was around the age of 30. I started working full time and met this fantastic group of people at work. We became like a family and did so many different things together. Everyone in the group thought I was so much “fun.”
“If you never did you should. These things are fun, and fun is good.” -Dr. Suess
We spent a lot of time together as a group. We went out for dinner together and one of my most favorite things we did was going dancing a few times a week. We danced and we danced. We danced from the time we walked in the door until the time we left. We knew all the local bands and they knew us. We hit all the local hot dance spots of which there were many back then. We were the fun crew and I was the “fun” girl.
I did most if not all of the arranging of our get togethers. I did it simply because I enjoyed being part of this group and I wanted to spend as much time with them as possible. And boy did we have fun? They even came to my house and my kids danced with us. This went on for quite a while. I was living life and didn’t seem to have a care in the world. Oh, believe me, I had bills, a job, a house to take care of, kids to take care of, meals to make, wash to do, etc…the same thing everyone else had but some how I fit having a little fun in there too. It made being a single mother of 3 a whole lot easier to deal with.
me dancing…
As I said this went on for a while. A few years in fact. And then some how, some where I lost that fun girl inside me. I don’t remember when it happened or how it happened. Oh, I still have fun, believe me. My friends and family and I have so much fun together. Lunches, dinners, trips to the beach, road trips, shopping and concerts. And let’s not forget “Wine and Pie” days. (we need another one soon) I have fun. Lots of fun. But I just don’t feel like that girl dancing in the picture did…Something inside me was gone.
What happened? Where did that girl go? Did life get in the way? Jobs that took me away from home for days on end, stress, the loss of so many important people in my life…Did all that take the fun out of life, the fun out of me… Or is this just something that happens as we age? Do we have so much on our shoulders these days that life can’t possibly be fun? I thought I would always be that girl, I just thought I would always be fun.
This whole “me being fun thing” came up today while talking with a friend that I used to have fun with. She had brought some pictures along of us back in the 80’s when we were out having.. fun. Looking at those pictures made me think. I had been feeling like I had lost something and right then and there I knew what it was. As I looked at my face I could see the carefree me just enjoying myself and having fun. We both decided we were going to have fun again. It had been way too long for both of us. And I made a decision right there during lunch that I was going to be the “fun girl” again. We don’t know how many times we will be able to get out of bed and walk, let alone dance. We aren’t guaranteed anything in this life. We aren’t certain of how many tomorrows we have left. But if there is one thing I am certain of it’s that I am going to have fun! And I will be that “fun” girl again.
When I thought about all of this on my way home from our lunch, I came up with this. I think when you start to forget who you are, you have to think back to a time in your life when you loved yourself the most. That is the real you. I know I loved myself during that time. I thought maybe I loved myself to much. I had obligations. I had a family that needed me. So is that what changed? Did I stop loving myself? Is that what happened? I don’t know the answer. But I am going to try and find that girl in the picture, the one having fun. The “fun” girl.
Do you still have fun? Is it different now than when you were younger? I really would like to hear your comments.
“Never, ever underestimate the importance of having fun.” ~ Randy Pausch
My definition of fun has definitely changed as I’ve gotten older. Laughter remains an essential component, however. And wine (just in smaller quantities and higher quality). P.S. Love that Randy Pausch quote.
Thank you Roxanne! And I love that quote too!
This is such a great read for us, it really made me think about what I want to do for fun, so much of my time is devoted to everyone else around me and their ideas of fun. I want to spend more time doing the things I think are fun! Life is to short, thank you for this reminder!
You are welcome Carissa! We do need to have fun…and life is short.
My idea of fun has definitely morphed. I remember a group of us coming home after an evening that included dinner and entertainment and visiting. We looked at the clock and one of the men in our group pointed out that, only a few years earlier, we would have just been going out. We all stopped and thought about it. Then smiled and said, “This is so much more fun!”
Oh Diane, my friends and I do that all the time…we look at the clock and say, we would have just been going out now…I don’t need to do that anymore…I just need to find that girl inside me….
My definition of fun has changed quite a bit since my early 30’s, but I understand what you’re saying. Now when I have fun it generally involves great conversation, a good meal, a quiet afternoon with my husband or a quick weekend getaway. If you need to find your fun, do it!!
I have fun…its just that I feel I lost something inside…and need to find that again… Thanks Sharon..
I don’t know if fun has changed or my idea of it has. I know I couldn’t and wouldn’t want to have fun in some of the reckless ways I did when younger but thanks to you I’m going to think more about what fun is now for me and whether I’m actually doing it right!
Thanks Karen, we all have a “fun girl” inside of us somewhere dying to get out…just a different one.
I think my idea of “fun” has changed. I don’t do big groups and loud parties anymore, my idea of fun is more relational and interactive. I love looking back at ‘young me’ but I’m quite happy with ‘older me’ too (I’m less exhausting!)
Oh me too Leanne…I’m not into that anymore either….but I should still be able to find that young girl inside me again…
I think that we get to bogged down with responsibilities. Kids, aging parents, jobs, houses it all adds lb after lb until we can’t get out from under that weight/
I think you are right Rena…we need to make ourselves happy too and have some fun…
I need to have more fun but my childhood was not fun so at my age I am going to try to make my own fun! Thanks for sharing
I think there are times when I have to stop and think and appreciate, this is fun, or I am having fun. Fun is not over rated it is needed! I love the blue dress you are in. Wouldn’t that be gorgeous in grown up size?
Thanks Haralee! And yes, love the dress, look at how we were dressed at a kids birthday party. Lets have fun!
What great pics. True, I seem a bit more buttoned up these days. I still have kids at home, I work at a university, I’m volunteering in four different roles. I think I DO need a little more fun in my life. Thanks for the nudge.
Karen, thanks and you go girl..let’s have some fun!
I DO still have fun. In fact, I have more fun than I used to. I’m just a little slower at having the fun.
Good for you Michelle, we all need to have fun…
Oh yeah, if I am ever in your neck of the woods I am inviting myself for wine and pie!
When we were younger fun was everywhere. But it gets more complicated as we get older and have to balance all the responsibilities. And so many people in our age group simply gave up on fun.
We have to seek it out. My brother somehow found all these clubs and bands that are perfect for our age group. Once in a while I join him and his friends for a carefree night of crazy dancing to retro music, and for that brief time, it’s all good. (I say this with my left foot elevated after twisting my knee descending a stepladder this evening!)
We should have a wine and pie party soon! I wish there were some great places to dance around here. I need to find some or start one!