Do your friends lift you up or pull you down?

Girlfriends

Having just returned from my annual Girlfriends Weekend yesterday, my mind was filled with so many different thoughts and feelings as I feel asleep last night. The women I go on this trip with are all different ages and range from almost 70 to others in their 40’s and 50’s. We have a core group that has always gone and from time to time we have invited a few others. But this core group of women and our conversations this weekend were what caused me to write this post today.

We talk about many subjects while we are together and do many things, but one thing stands out in my mind and that is how we constantly build each other up. No one ever tries to belittle you or make you feel less than. We even talked about this very topic over our 4 days together. You hear and see so many stories in todays social media crazed world about women tearing other women apart due to something they have said or the way they look. I have to say and maybe its because I lucked out in the friends department( I do know I have), but all my women friends always lift me up and I feel better about myself and the world in general when I leave them.

I never understood why someone had to make another feel small to make themselves feel better. I have seen this many times over the course of my life, especially in the workplace. There would be a person that was my superior who thought they needed to control you or belittle you to make them feel like a better boss or a more important person. And in all honesty and I really hate to admit this, most of the time the boss who did this was a woman. I have had several women managers over my many years in the work environment and 9 times out of 10 I had this kind of boss. I must say, I also had several wonderful women who mentored me and I truly felt they wanted to see me succeed. I think those women knew the secret, that if I succeeded it could only make them look good.

In my opinion women should do everything they can to help other women. This is a tough world we live in and we don’t get out alive. So why not help others along the way on this journey called life. I don’t get it, but maybe this is something you don’t learn until you are older. Like so many other things we learn as we age and we are all so busy trying to survive that it is hard sometimes to look beyond our own little world. I don’t think I fully understood this completely myself until a few years ago. I wish I had realized all of this earlier so that maybe I could have helped more younger women going through some of the things I did. I have tried to mentor quite a few over the years and can only hope I succeeded.

Men seem to support other men and not feel so threatened. At least this has been my experience when observing them together. So I don’t know why women think it is ok to hurt other women. We women are thought to have more emotional and caring mechanisms than men do. So then explain to me why this happens. Why do women do this to one another? I know both of my daughters have had similar stories where they had a woman who was their superior act in such a way it caused them to leave the position. However I can truly say I feel both of them try their best to help other women. I have already started speaking to my nine year old grand daughter about this, but somehow I don’t think she needs me to tell her. She is a very kind and generous child and I know she will help others. She already does.

I want to say how grateful I am to all the women who have helped me throughout my life. I know I am blessed to have had so many of them at various times and it seemed  each one came when I needed them the most. Some of them are no longer here and some have moved on but they will always be remembered for what they gave me. I can only hope I gave back some of that support in return.

Lets all try to be more supportive of others whether it be a woman or man. Did you ever feel like someone was trying to bring you down? Do you have a person in your life that has lifted you up? I would love to hear your stories.

“We are not here on earth to see through each other, we are here to see each other through.” ~Unknown