And who gave it to me…
“Just eat ice cream and you’ll feel much better”- me
Advice…what is it? Why do we listen to others and why did our parents bother to even give it to us…were we even listening? Googling advice…here is what comes up.. “Advice, noun….guidance or recommendations concerning prudent future action, typically given by someone regarded as knowledgeable or authoritative. Not everyone who has given me advice has been knowledgeable or authoritative..well thinking about this, I guess my Mom was authoritative in that she was my Mother.
I am good at giving advice, but not at taking it. And one thing is for sure, I am not good at taking my own advice. Having said that, here is some of the best advice I have received over the years and it has stuck with me to this day.
“Lower your expectations” – A good friend gave me this advice at least 20 years ago and I have never forgot it. I was always getting hurt by others and telling her that I didn’t understand why this happened. One night she told me that not everyone was as kind or generous as I was and that is why they couldn’t live up to my expectations. And she said, maybe If I lowered mine I wouldn’t be hurt so much. I have tried to live by this and it has helped. Sometimes it still makes me sad that people can’t be kind or do what I would do. But that is just the way it is..
“You should be a writer” – I have been told this several times in my life. Once by a teacher I had in school and often by friends and family members. I never had the time when the kids were growing up. I know its a lame excuse….But I am writing now. Just a blog, but I’m writing. I still have a book or two in me, maybe one day I will let them out.
“Never let a big dog jump on you” – Another good friend’s mother told her this and she shared it with me. I think this is good advice and really a metaphor. I think it means to try not to let something you don’t want to happen to you… happen to you.
“Make sure you always wear clean underwear” – This one is from my mom. She always said you never know when you will have to go to the hospital and you need to have clean underwear on if that happens. I did have to go once and thank goodness my underwear was clean. Thanks Mom!
“Never change who you are for someone” – I don’t remember who told me this but it stuck with me and I never have changed for anyone. I am me, take me as I am.
“If a relationship isn’t right, you can’t fix it. And if it’s good, you can’t mess it up” – An older woman friend of mine told me this once when I was in the beginning stages of a relationship and asked her how I could fix it. She also said you shouldn’t have to fix it at the very beginning, it should be awesome. I never forgot this or her. And it is so very true.
“Never ever stay with someone who gets violently angry wth you for throwing away a dirty napkin” – Advice from another friend…she is no longer with him. Pretty good advice I think. Also never stay with someone that gets angry because you forgot the taco sauce when you made tacos… just a little advice from me..I know it’s important to have taco sauce when you make tacos, however to throw things and scream at someone is not…
“Ice cream, pie and wine can make anything better” – This is from me. I know it can’t fix everything but it sure does help.
“Roll down the windows and turn up the music” – This great advice is from the show on NBC, “This Is Us” Love this show by the way. I think this is awesome advice, so next time you have a bad day or life is kicking your butt… get in the car, head out on a back road…roll down the windows and turn up the music…
“Never go to bed angry” – Again… Mom. She always told me to make up with whoever I was angry with before going to sleep.This is good advice and something we should all adhere to. Life is short, so fix what is broken and tell people you love them. We aren’t guaranteed another day. And if you wake up the next day and the person you were angry at isn’t around anymore, you can never fix it.
“When you are 90 and sitting in your rocker on the front porch, think about this problem, this thing you are upset about, will it be important then?” – Me again..I always ask myself this question or people who come to me with a problem. It works when you ask this, because most of the time we spend worrying over such trivial, insignificant things… Not the things that really matter.
“Never lose your sense of humor” – Actually it’s “Don’t ever lose your sense of humor Dan, don’t EVER lose your sense of humor.” This line is from “About Last Night”, the movie with Jim Belushi and Rob Lowe. Love this line..and so true..we must always keep our sense of humor…it will help us get through this thing called life. Believe me if I didn’t have a sense of humor I don’t know how I would have survived the things I’ve been through.
“If you can’t be with the one you love, love the one you’re with” – Crosby, Stills and Nash. Well they sang this song but seriously a guy once said this to me…think he had ulterior motives that night. I may or may not have listened to him.
That’s it for now, I have more but I will keep them for another time. If you have a piece of great advice someone once gave you please tell us in the comments. I would love to hear them. What was the best advice anyone ever gave you?
“Advice is like snow – the softer it falls, the longer it dwells upon, and the deeper it sinks into the mind.” ~ Samuel Taylor Coleridge
Excellent pieces of advice
Thank you Brittany!
Just love the ‘snow’ comment. And your friend’s advice about relationships are so true. A good relationship shouldn’t be ‘hard’.
Exactly Laura! Thank you for commenting…
All excellent advice (especially about the softness of snow and gentle advice) except for the pie and wine. But that’s just me.
Thanks Alana…but how can you not like pie and wine…did you ever try it..and you’ve never had my friend Marsha’s pie….
Great piece! Yes, never lose your sense of humor. Roll down the windows and turn up the music! Awesome!
Thank you Camille! We must always keep our sense of humor…
These are great. I think a sense of humor is so important in life. BTW pie, ice cream and wine………..always a good combo! Our Mom’s could have been friends……my Mom always harped on the clean underwear thing. Also, she said to always make your bed. You never know when you will have unexpected visitors. I am 63 and have never had anyone pop over and end up in my bedroom! However, I still make my bed every single morning.
Thank You Ellen, love your comments…they made me chuckle a bit…because I think I have had someone pop over and end up in my bedroom, but it was so long ago…I’m not exactly sure…LOL
Love these. Although I’ve seen the ‘Don’t go to bed angry’ taken to new depths. (I think it could be altered to read: ‘Don’t go to bed angry, stay up and fight all night!’)
Mom’s abiding advice to us kids? It’s nice to be important. But more important to be nice.
Thanks Diane…but if the person doesn’t live with you that your anger is directed at, it would be a little difficult…however I get what you mean…and love your Mom’s advice
I love “Never lose your sense of humor.” It’s an invaluable asset, especially as we get older. One rather unorthodox piece of advice my mother gave me: “A stiff prick has no conscience.” And you know what? She was right.
Oh Roxanne I love that! Thanks for your comments!
The last comment is the best. Sometimes it is hard for me to remember that a gentle question to my adult children is often more meaningful than many forceful words.
You are right Tamara! And Thanks for commenting.
Great advice! I got the underwear one from my Mother too. My bit on the advice treasures is ‘You can only control the controllables”. Example,Going or planning an outdoor event, can’t control the weather. Drunk uncle will be there, no one can control him. You get the idea.
Thanks Haralee! You are so right!
Did someone say wine and pie? That’s definitely my favorite….that and the clean underwear advice. Got to have clean underwear!
Thanks Rena! Yes, wine and pie is my new favorite combo…
Wow! So many (and so varied) pieces of advice – it’s funny how we collect them over time and some make sense and others we raise our eyebrows at. My favourite piece of advice was “don’t expect your husband to meet all your needs – you need other people in your life” it makes a lot of sense to me and takes the pressure off my poor husband!
Thanks Leanne, and that is a good piece of advice…you can’t make one person responsible for everything in your life..
Jere quotes this piece of “advice”, given by Dr. Sidney Freidman on M*A*S*H, to the other characters on the show: “Ladies and Gentlemen, take my advice…….Pull down your pants and slide on the ice!!!!!!” It has served us well over the years to help lighten the mood when we need to!!! HAHAHA!
Good advice Georgia.this comment was in my spam folder for some reason and I jus now found it..Sorry..
Smile it makes people wonder what you’re up to. I LIVE by that one!! Love ya and I try to always have clean underwear on!!!
Glad to hear that Susie!
I like your advice about pie, ice cream and wine. I will take it! Might be the best I’ve heard in awhile! Certainly it is easy advice to take. I’ll take easy !
I think about this past week and all the emotions I’m dealing with and I’m learning to really listen to ‘my gut’ ! Maybe it’s my heart and not my gut. Heart sounds better anyway. If you think there is something you should do, then do it. You have to live with yourself first and foremost.
You know not everyone is going to agree with you or do what you would do because we are all different and ‘our stories’ are different .
I’m having hot chocolate right now because it comforts me! I sleep with my mini comforter up around my face because it comforts me. I walk my dog because it’s good for us both but it also comforts me. Right now I know I need comfort! Right now
I’m hurting and I’m doing the best I can. Most of my family and friends supported me but not all in the way I thought they would.
My advice to self: let it go, you can’t go backwards only forward. I need to listen to my advice. I hope I can!
As for clean underwear, my mom always said that too! It never occurred to me to put on dirty underwear. Change daily, repeat!
As per usual, your blog puts a smile on my face! The things you remember and they way you put things make me pause and think and laugh! I’m grateful that you listened to that teacher that told you to write even if it happened a lot later in your life! At least you did it! Good for you!
Aw, thank you Joanie! I know this has been a tough time for you and I am here if you need me..you know your tribe understands what you are going through…
I just wonder what people would say when you have had pie and wine together. Maybe a good bicarbonate would help. Good blog. Hope to see your books.
Thanks Andy, and I have had wine and pie together and it is awesome! You just have to pair the right wine with the pie…