How do I have a child that’s 50, when I am only 50 myself?

This is what she looks like in my mind…

So it happened this past weekend, my oldest(thank goodness) child turned 50! I really don’t know how this happened and where the time has gone. I just turned 50 myself. I remember it well, my kids had a wonderful 50th birthday surprise party for me. It was just last year, wasn’t it? It sure feels like it was. I remember the day Shelly was born and that a day afterward, it was Mother’s Day and I celebrated it in the hospital. But really, how did this happen?

This recent turn of events has caused me to do some thinking on how quickly time passes and how we don’t have endless days and years here on this earth. We need to do, say and be all that we want, when we want or miss the opportunity to do so. Our children grow up, our grandkids grow up and we can’t change that or stop time. There are days when I am with them and suddenly it hits me and I think to myself.. “right now, this moment, I would like to freeze this moment and stay in it forever.”

There are always times in your life which cause you to reflect. When the kids graduate from high school or college, when they marry, when they turn certain ages. But the age thing I think are always, at least for me, a time for reflecting the most. When they turned 16 was one of those times, then 21 and 30 and so on. But 50! Come on, I just can’t even.

Shelly in her much hated Danskin outfit and the also much hated Poodle curtains behind her.(she was scared of them)

Remember when we were kids and it seemed like it took forever for our birthdays to roll around? Now I have one and it is no sooner over and there is another one coming so quickly I barely get the gifts put away from the first. Well I may have exaggerated a bit here but you get the gist of what I’m saying. Time flies by. My oldest grandson will be 14 this year and I remember the day he was born like it was yesterday. In fact I think it was yesterday..

I remember my Mom telling me all of this and her acting all weepy sometimes about our gatherings for birthdays and holidays and how she wanted us all together. She wanted pictures and we all had to be there or we would suffer her endless reminders of how we didn’t show up for the much anticipated get together or event. I didn’t quite understand her angst then, but now “I get it.”

But back to the subject at hand…my child turning 50! Because this is what I am ranting about. I enjoyed my 50’s immensely. It was one of my better decades. My kids were all grown and living on their own(for the most part, occasionally one would drift back in for a time). I was in good shape physically and had a lot of stamina. I was even riding a bike for 20-30 miles at a time. I had a lot of fun those years as well. What happened to that person? I feel the same inside but the outside isn’t communicating to well with the inside. I remember those times vividly and fondly. So I hope the 50’s decade is a good one for my daughter, I hope she enjoys these years and remembers them with as much joy as I do.

My daughter is not just my daughter, she is also my friend. Being so close in age and having gone through all we went through to get this point in life has created a bond which I know will last forever. She is funny, smart, loving and a total music freak. Seriously, she absolutely loves music. One of the many things we share is that love of music and we go to a lot of concerts together. We love the beach and go as often as we can. We both love sitting on a beach where there is not a soul around us and just enjoy the view and sea air.  Sadly for us, most of the time on these empty beautiful beaches a family of ten comes by and pitches their tent right beside our chairs…Another thing we share is a love of shopping but that isn’t always a good thing. We are not good for each other as we encourage the other to buy. But we do have fun. We always have fun!

Shelly and I in Outer Banks

And so I wish for her to have 50 more years to go to concerts and for me to be able to go with her. I can only hope!

I leave you as always with a question and a quote.

What are your thoughts on your children growing older, turning, 16, 21 or 50??

“The relationship between parents and children, but especially between mothers and daughters, is tremendously powerful, scarcely to be comprehended in any rational way.” – Joyce Carol Oates

and this one just for the fun of it…and because it made me laugh.
“Daughters are like flowers, they fill the world with beauty, and sometimes attract pests.”  ~Author Unknown