do you have mine…

got your back girl….

Why in this day and age do we still look to bring other women down instead of lifting them up? I ask myself this this several times a day…really I do. Especially when I am on FB. I don’t even read comments anymore because you just know when it is a picture of a woman, someone is going to make a nasty comment. What is this? Why do women feel the need to comment on another woman’s appearance? It saddens me that we are so unsupportive of other women…even to the point of making fun of them.

I am not saying I have never done this. And now as I write this I am ashamed of myself. Who among us hasn’t said, “what was she thinking…why did she wear that outfit?” It seemed so harmless at the time, but now I know it was part of a larger problem we have today. One where we as women don’t support other women. We not only don’t support them we try to make them feel less.

Why do we do this? Why is it so hard for us to lift up another woman rather than put her down? It seems we do this more now that ever before. Its it due to social media and the fact we an hide behind our computer screens and say hurtful things to each other and no one knows our true identity? Is that it? Who knows… But we know…we know deep inside this isn’t right and that it is very hurtful. It says more about us women saying these things to another than the one in the picture.

I just left a job I loved for almost 20 years last week. I couldn’t do it anymore. I couldn’t stand the drama and the back stabbing one more day… the whispering behind the backs of others and then turning around and telling the other person what was just said about them. I felt like I was back in high school or better yet, elementary school… I don’t want to see or hear that anymore. I don’t want to feel those feelings. I’m done. I have lost so many people in my life than I ever thought I would at this point and I can’t bear all the meanness and spitefulness. It hurts my soul. I want and need to be around people who lift me up…

We need to be there for each other, now more than ever before. I give thanks every day for all of the wonderful women in my life who are truly there for me and who do lift me up. They are there for me when I need them and their support is never ending. They are the the true warriors…these women are strong and not afraid of being strong. Those that put others down are weak and need to do that in order to feel more alive and to actually feel something.

“Strong people don’t put others down, they lift them up.” ~ Michael P. Watson

Has this gotten worse lately or is it just me? Why don’t we support instead of compete? Life should not be a competition. We were not meant to compete with each other. We certainly didn’t learn this from our mothers….at least I know I didn’t. We were taught to love one another. My grandfather was a Sunday School teacher. We were taught love. Always. When we tear one woman down we tear our whole gender down.

I don’t see men doing this. Men for the most part are strong and don’t have to put another man down to make themselves feel more like a man. Are they more secure in their worth than we are? I really hate to think this is the case. We women doubt ourselves constantly. Did we do the right thing? Am I skinny enough? Am I good enough? Does everyone like me? I don’t think men care if everyone likes them. Why do we?

If it’s self doubt that makes us be nasty to each other then we really need to look at ourselves and what we are telling ourselves..We need to look at how we are treating other women and most of all… how we treat our self! I have also read that it is jealousy that makes us do this. I don’t think so. Of course it may be in some cases but for the most part I think it’s that little voice inside our heads telling us we aren’t good enough and we need to make someone else feel small in order to make ourselves feel better.

I think life is hard enough…we don’t need to make it any harder. We need to lift each other up and give support to other women. Let’s start today. Let’s tell another woman she looks beautiful. Let’s tell one she has a pretty smile. Let’s say you are enough to that single mom struggling with her job and 3 kids. Like I said, life truly “is” hard enough! Let’s try to make it better. Let’s start building other women up instead of putting them down.

I truly hope this younger generation of girls will not do this and I am doing everything in my power to see that my young grand daughter knows how to treat other girls. When I hear her talk about friends at school..I think she gets it! I know she looks to me for guidance and I know I am not without guilt here. But starting today I will try to do better. I will try to put myself in the others place and think what would I want to hear. It might not happen over night, but I will do better. I think I can. I think we all can!

“When women support each other, incredible things happen.” ~ UnknownI