Tag Archives: bffs

18Feb/17
friends at a birthday party

“You’ve Got A Friend”

Aging, Life, ,

Another song from James Taylor…and more.

friends at a birthday party

my birthday party..don’t I look happy..LOL!!

I am the little girl in the middle of all my friends, the one with the non smiling face…in fact I look mad.  I think it was due to the fact that Mom always invited EVERYONE to my birthday parties, not just the friends from school I wanted to invite. I am happy to say I am still friends with some of these kids. Some have moved out of state and one has passed away, but a few of my childhood friends are still in my life and I give thanks every day that they are.

I have lost so many people in the past few years, so the people I have left are very dear to me. If you have one good friend you have everything. I am blessed to have many. I was thinking about this last night after spending the day with some of these friends. I have been going through some stuff lately and then after hearing one of my dear friends lost her father  yesterday, it once again reminded me how precious life is and to savior each and every moment we have.

I spent the entire day yesterday with friends. We had lunch and then after chatting for awhile we went back to one of their houses and had pie and wine. What an amazing thing, what’s not to like about that? Pie and wine…I think that should be a “thing.” Let’s make it a thing…a weekly thing…a daily thing…ok, I’m getting carried away now, but it “was” awesome. And the most awesome part was that we were just sitting around eating, drinking and laughing… telling stories of when we were in high school together and how and when we first met each other.

We couldn’t even believe how quickly the day had slipped away and when we checked it was near dinner time. Hadn’t we just met at noon and where had the day gone? So we said our goodbyes and left only to have me and my friend who drove me back to my car sit in her car for 2 hours and talk some more. The hours slipped by like seconds and we only realized how long we were sitting there when a couple came out of the restaurant we were parked near and got in their car next to us. A couple that had pulled up when we first pulled in the parking lot. I said oh my, they got here, went in, ate and are finished, how long have we been sitting here? It had been 2 hours and she wasn’t tired of hearing me talk.That’s a friend.

We said our goodbyes again and I headed out for my hour drive home. I smiled the whole way home thinking of what a wonderful day I just had talking and sharing our life stories. And in that hour drive home I also thought about what makes these friendships I have now so different. Why do I treasure them so much and when I was younger even though my friends were important to me…I just took them for granted and thought that they would somehow just always be there. We talked about that a little yesterday at my friend’s house and said it is because at our age, and after losing so many in our lives…we now know how precious life is and so we value the friendships and the friends and time spent together even more.

So what makes a friend a good friend? I thought a lot about this on the way home as well and here are a few things I came up with.

A friend is someone who is there for you during the happy times of course, but then they are there for you during the worst times too. They are present for you when you need them most not just when you are having fun or it is convenient to be your friend.

A friend is someone you could call at 1am if you needed to talk. And I have done this.

A friend is someone who would hold your hair if you were throwing up. Yeah this really happened…so I knew she was a keeper.

A friend is someone who walks in the rain with you. Doing a “walk” for a cause with you when you don’t have anyone else to do it with..and it’s raining.

A friend is someone who finds time to spend with you. If you need them they are there. Doesn’t matter how busy their life is… they will still find time for you.

A friend is someone who listens to you, really listens…not just sitting there waiting for you to finish talking so they can talk.

A friend is someone who loves you totally in spite of all your flaws. They “get” you and love you for who you really are. They don’t try to change you and they think your weirdness and craziness are some of the best parts of you. I think this one is very important in a friendship. If someone is constantly pointing out your flaws or trying to change you in even small ways…they aren’t a friend.

A friend is someone who makes being with you a priority not just a “sometime thing” when they don’t have anything better to do.

A friend is someone who comes back in your life after a long time and nothing has changed. You feel like no time has passed…everything is the same and you are able to just pick up where you left off. The craziness, the love…its all still there.

A friend is someone who you are connected to in ways you don’t even understand. They just are. You can be thinking about them and they will suddenly call or text.

A friend is someone who “does” for you. They know what you need and they do it when you yourself don’t even know you need it.

A friend is someone who helps you move. More than once. I hate moving and I know moving other people is even worse so a friend that helps you move even one time is a blessing and a real friend.

This is just my short list of what friendship means to me. I hope my friends think I do some of these things for them. I do try hard to be a good friend, but I am going to try even harder. I love the friends I have in my life now but I have also had to let go of some friendships this past year. Losing a child has changed me, I am not the same person I was before. I am truly sorry this has happened and it makes me sad…but it is just the way it has to be for now. I love my tribe of friends and hope we have many more great times to come. One thing I learned yesterday… its fun to have new experiences in your life at the ripe old age of 67…and having wine and pie with good friends is one of them.

What do you think makes a friend a good friend? I’d love to hear your comments.

“Friendship isn’t about whom you have known the longest…It’s about who came and never left your side.” ~ Unknown

24Oct/15

Friends Forever…

Lifestyle, , , ,

What exactly does this mean?

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This is a picture of my first friends..my neighborhood friends. There were a few more that aren’t on this picture like my friend, Jan who lived in the house pictured behind us. Two of the kids in the picture are no longer with us, one is my sister Rhonda on the far left and Judy, on the far right, who has also passed. It makes me happy and sad at the same time looking at this picture.

When I was in Brownies we used to sing a song called “Make New Friends”. I never forgot it. My grand daughter told me they still sing it at her girl scout meetings. For anyone who wasn’t in Brownies or Girl Scouts it goes like this. “Make new friends, but keep thee old…One is silver and the other’s gold.” I believe this to be very true. There are many different kinds of friends. Some of them are Silver and some are pure Gold..

I have made many friends over my time here on earth and I am blessed with some of the most wonderful people that I call my friends. But there have also been people that came into my life at different times and they are no longer in my life. I’ve had quite a collection of awesome friends at many of the jobs I have had in my working career. They seemed to come in to my life when I needed them and we had so many things in common and then when I left the job and moved on so did the friendships. I don’t know why this happens and sometimes we really try to keep those friendships going but life seems to get in the way.

I have recently found a few people from my past. Friends from long ago, granted we were different people then but as soon as we talked, it was like yesterday and no time had passed at all. I also have reconnected with some of my friends from high school and I seriously don’t know what I would do without them. We are all going through the same things at the same time. Losing parents, taking care of parents, grandchildren, health issues and so many other things. Sometimes, after a conversation about health issues we laugh at ourselves and say, “who would have thought we’d be talking about this.”  But we have a bond, a connection and we can talk about many things we can’t talk about to anyone else.  These friendships have sustained me through some very dark times recently.

I have friends that live near by and friends that have moved many miles away. One of my best friends just moved a thousand miles away and it makes me sad not to be able to pick up the phone and say, lets meet for lunch today. But we are still the best of friends and always will be. There is no doubt in my mind of that. A few thousand miles can not take away the friendship we have and another reason is…she knows too much… What is a true friend and how do you know it will pass the test of time? I’ll tell you..When you are puking your guts out after a long happy hour (this isn’t for just a few minutes, more like hours) and they aren’t angry at you, in fact they are holding your hair so it doesn’t get puke on it…then you know you have a lifetime friend.

So people may come and go in your life. Some people may be friends for a short time and some for a lifetime. And some people are just friends on Facebook. It doesn’t make them any less a friend. Our lives are better for having them in it. I know I am blessed to have these people I call friends in my life and hopefully they feel the same.  I love them all and am grateful every single day that they are on this journey with me. They are Gold! I hope they know that.

“There comes a point in your life when you realize who really matters, who never did, and who always will.” – Unknown

05May/15

Friends Till the End….

Lifestyle, , ,

Together on this roller coaster called life.

 

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I just returned from my annual “Girlfriends Weekend” in Bethany Beach. We have been doing this for almost 20 years now and each one is special and never the same. While it is nice to visit the beach and get away, this weekend is always so much more than that.

The annual event has taken on a life of its own. We have many rituals and then there is always something new that I take away from it and this year was no different. We all look forward to it so much all year long. A few times there may be someone who can’t make it and someone new who goes along. This was one of the years a few people didn’t make it. My best friend just moved away and wasn’t able to come as well as my 2 daughters who have been coming for quite awhile. I needed space to figure out what all of this change meant and the girls gave me that time alone. But they were there when I needed them.

We have a great time together. We eat, we drink, we shop (boy, do we shop) but more than that, we talk. Intimate stories of our lives are shared and we are never afraid that this will be repeated. “What is said in Bethany, stays in Bethany”. All of us have gone through similar times, with the deaths of parents, divorces, family issues, children and grandchildren. We also talk of silly stuff and things I guess all women do, but we talk about things that matter to us. Someone will have gone through it and will have advice to give.

We have shed a few tears over the years as well. One year in particular a friend couldn’t make the trip due to her Mother being very ill. We would call and text and send pictures so she felt as though she was there. At dinner one night she texted us that her Mother had passed. We made a toast to her and it was maybe the quietest dinner we ever had.

Most of the time though, we are laughing as we share stories on body issues and menopause and other female things that come up in the conversations. Seems like we never get away without at least one of the never ending stories of someone’s poop problem (or lack thereof). On this recent trip I ran into one friend in the hallway and she had pulled up her shirt and was looking at her stomach. I stopped and asked her what she was doing. She said she had all these “things” on her body now. Skin tags, moles, sunspots, hard spots, you name it, with new ones coming on a daily basis. I was so happy!! I couldn’t believe it. I hugged her and told her I loved her and said, “thank you, I thought I was the only one that had these, you just made my day”.

The support of this group of women is amazing. Most times you hear when women get together especially for a long period of time, they are gossipy, jealous and always trying to one up each other. Not these women. We support each other completely and know full well if needed, one if not all of them would be there.

And so we all got up early Sunday morning to pack and hit the road for home once again. We hugged and made our annual promise to get together more than once a year. I don’t know if any of us will or not but I do know one thing..should I ever need anyone for anything, these women are there for me.

This makes me wonder….I know men have get togethers. They go on golf, hunting, fishing trips together and I’m sure they have lots of fun. But do they share these kind of memories and stories with each other? I sure hope they do.