18Jan/18
sad

I’m Sorry….

Aging, Life, ,

I’m just want to let you know….

sad

I’m very sorry…

I feel the need to say I’m sorry. I think some of my family and friends don’t understand why I am different and why I act the way I do now. I know most of you “get it” and get me and do understand why I’m different, but I know even you must at times wonder if it will ever stop or if I am forever going to be this new person. So I must apologize to those of you who wonder and those of you I’ve hurt.

I’m sorry I’m not the same person I once was. The person you knew before July 20th, 2016. The death of my son has changed me forever. I will never be the same.

I’m sorry you don’t think I’m handling things the way I should…or the way you think I should. I am doing the best I can.

I’m sorry if I sometimes pull away and seem indifferent to you. I’m not feeling that way at all and it’s not you…it’s me. I just get weird at times. I don’t even know why or where these feelings come from..nor can I stop them from happening.

I’m sorry if I yell at you. I have always yelled at those I cared about…I just do it more now. It seems I have no filter these days. I say things that even I don’t know why I’m saying them. I try to stop the words before I say them…but I can’t.

I’m sorry I don’t want to be around drama. I have had enough drama to last me the rest of my life. I want to feel peaceful and be peaceful. If a situation feels like too much for me…I pull away. I retreat. I go inside myself.

“The greatest gift that you can give to others is the gift of unconditional love and acceptance.” ~ Brian Tracy

I’m sorry if our relationship isn’t what it was before and that hurts you. Nothing is the same anymore. I am trying to figure out my new normal…whatever that is and whatever my life will be going forward. Some of my relationships are better, some aren’t. Some are over. I understand if you don’t want me in your life. I know I’m not always easy to be around…I don’t like being around myself at times…

I’m sorry if I turn down invitations or don’t try harder to get together with you. I may be having a bad day and don’t want to pull you into my drama. Sometimes I don’t like being around a lot of people and it gives me anxiety. I have never had this before and it is strange for me to feel this way.

I’m sorry if I worry about you. I have always worried about my family and friends, but I do it more now. If I don’t hear from you, I think something terrible has happened. I freak out and call or text you till I know you are ok. I can’t lose anyone else I care about.

I’m sorry if I can’t make believe something doesn’t bother me. Even if I try to cover it up my face will tell the true story. Ask my daughters…I love them both with all my heart and even they get “the face”…

I’m sorry if you’re thinking all of this is just an excuse for the way I act at times. I worry about that and mentioned it recently to a friend and she said, “you true friends get it.” I hope this is true. But I also know all this can change the dynamics of our relationship. So I understand if you don’t want to be around me. I wasn’t the easiest person to be around before…I’m sure I’m no ray of sunshine now.

My point to all of this was to help you better understand why I act the way I do at times. But there is also a good lesson for all of us in this…. the fact is we never know what someone may be going through and what they are truly feeling at any given moment. Unless you walk in their shoes you can never, never fully understand. So think about that the next time a family member or good friend says or does something you don’t believe they should have. Maybe, just maybe there is a good reason behind that behavior. It might not be what you think is a good reason, but it is their reason.

“Remember anyone can love you when the sun is shining. In the storms is where you learn who truly cares for you.” ~ Unknown

11Jan/18
hands touching

“Reach Out And Touch Someone…”

Life, , ,

“make this world a better place if you can…”

hands touching

Reach out and touch someone…

We’ve all heard this song… Diana Ross, Aretha Franklin and Ashford and Simpson all have had versions of it over the years…However a little know trivia fact is that Ashford and Simpson actually wrote the song. Having said all of that, I think the song is best known for the AT&T commercial of the late 70’s. It was hugely successful and promoted connection with family. I’m guessing they wouldn’t be using this song or the tagline now…but back in the day it worked. And the sentiment of what the song projects, if you read the lyrics, is indeed touching(no pun intended).

“Reach out and touch
Somebody’s hand
Make this world a better place
If you can”

Such simple words…but they have had a very long lasting impact. Most people of a certain age remember it well. I know I do. We had telephones hanging on our walls or sitting on tables then but we reached out and we called our loved ones with them. We weren’t all so busy then and a simple phone call to find out how their day was going was not out of the ordinary. Now we text and talk to people on social media. Have we lost touch with the people we care about? Have we lost touch with the world? Is this in fact all part of a larger problem?

I found out this week how one simple act of reaching out can have a huge impact on another person’s life, thus impacting my own. I hadn’t hear from a friend in about a month. She was always posting positive stories and always had positive things to say when I posted something on Facebook. So when I realized I hadn’t heard anything in awhile I looked up her profile and was surprised to see it had been taken down. I didn’t know what to do…I was afraid something terrible had happened to her. I didn’t have any contact info of hers but my intuition told me I needed to “reach out” to her.

All of the sudden I thought of Linkedin. Maybe she was on there. I checked and she was… I sent her a short message telling her I missed her positivity on FB and also just missed her and hoped she was ok!  That was all, just a short message. I never expected to get the message I got back. She wrote that she was so touched I had reached out and said that no one else had even bothered to check on her. She also said, ” a kind word can change and make a difference in some one’s day and in that one day…it could make a difference in someones life.”

One word, one call, one message…it is such a simple thing. We need to reach out more, we need to not be afraid of rejection. If we see someone looking sad, ask them if they are ok. If we don’t hear from someone in awhile call them, talk to them…check on them… If someone has lost a relative, a parent or child…don’t be afraid to reach out. Don’t be afraid you don’t know what to say or that you will say the wrong thing. Even months and years later, these people who have lost still grieve. One word of kindness can change their life and can in turn change your own.

To say that this experience has changed me would be putting it mildly. It literally made me cry and touched my heart deeply. If you read my last post about my “word” for 2018 being LOVE and how I wanted to do things I loved and show more love to people I cared about. This…this right here is what life is all about. Caring about others enough to check on them. Caring about people we don’t even know that well. “Love” is truly the answer to the problems we have in the world today. I believe this….At the very least it would be a good place to start… What do you think?

“Take a little time out of your busy day
To give encouragement
To someone who’s lost the way
(Just try)
Or would I be talking to a stone
If I asked you
To share a problem that’s not your own
We can change things if we start giving” 

Songwriters: Nickolas Ashford / Valerie Simpson
Reach Out and Touch lyrics © Sony/ATV Music Publishing LLC

 

 

03Jan/18
Love

LOVE is the answer…

Life, ,

so what is the question….

Love

Love…yes..that is the answer…

I was pondering what my “word” for 2018 would be for a few days…I couldn’t come up with one. I thought of a few but then discarded them like the wrapping paper from my Christmas presents. None of the words I came up with totally expressed exactly what I wanted to feel and project this year. Some felt right at first… but then didn’t after I let them sit for a bit.

Why, you ask is this “word” so important? Well let me explain it to you. I used to do the whole New Year’s resolutions thing and then at the end of January I had not accomplished even a single one and would just forget about them. This whole process made me feel like such a loser. Why couldn’t I keep my resolutions? Other people I knew could, why couldn’t I? I think maybe it was because there was so much pressure to do it that I decided I just couldn’t and stopped…before I failed.

I had heard about selecting a word…a single word that made you feel your word and react to it all year long. My first “word” was JOY! I needed some joy in my life at the time and decided it would be a good word for me. I experienced much joy that year and people in my life embraced it as well and helped me find my JOY… I am still tied to that word as I feel drawn to it somehow. It speaks to me. I think your “word” should do that.

“Words are all we have.” ~ Samuel Beckett

So back to the task at hand…picking one for this year. I knew what I wanted from this year…what I wanted this year to be about. I wrote what I wanted in my journal and here is what I wrote...I want to love what I am spending my time on…I want to love what I do….I want to love life again and feel like I am sending that out to the universe and hopefully get it back..I want to let all the people I love know how much I love them and show them…I want to show the love I had/have for my son and somehow use that love to honor his life. And then almost magically… there it was..It’s funny how for some reason I didn’t see it even though it was right there in front of me….the answer was LOVE.

Wow. It was so easy and I made it so hard. As I sat there pondering my word a blue jay flew onto my porch. He looked around and then he stared right through the window at me…shook his head and flew off. Yes, LOVE.. was truly my word. I believe in signs and that was a sign if I ever saw one.

Now onto what I want to gain from this “love”….I want to believe that all things are possible just like I did when I was a child. I know that sometimes they just aren’t.. but I want to believe they are. I want to love each day and look forward to what the day holds. I want to be open to any and all possibilities. I want to use all the talents and abilities I was born with and not waste them. I do love to write and I am doing that with this blog. I am so proud of the fact that I have continued doing this for almost 3 years now. I also love to make jewelry and have stopped doing that. I made a promise to myself to start making jewelry again this year.

I have tried and tried this past year, to come up with a way that would honor my son, Dave and that it would somehow make a difference in the world. I know that is no small undertaking but I hope to come up with a way to do both this year. It doesn’t need to be a huge earth shattering difference..however that would be great….a small one would do! If anyone has any ideas on how I could accomplish this, please leave your ideas in a comment below.

I am so grateful for finally finding my word for 2018! By the way, grateful was my word for last year. LOVE..isn’t is a beautiful word? Don’t you wish there was more of it in our world today? Maybe this could be a small step for us all to spread more love…I am certainly going to try! Do you pick a “word?” And if you do, what word did you pick?

“Words. So powerful. They can crush a heart, or heal it. They can shame a soul, or liberate it. They can shatter dreams, or energize them. They can obstruct connection, or invite it. They can create defenses, or melt them. We have to use words wisely.” ~ Jeff Brown

26Dec/17
Santa

Weird Things I Saw At Work….Part 4

Humor, Life, ,

presenting the Holiday Edition…

Santa

What the….

Sorry I haven’t written anything for a bit because I have been working retail and it was Christmas. But I did see some things that I thought you may enjoy. It’s been one of the weirdest holiday seasons I think I have ever worked…but then I say that every year. I also say I am not going to do this again next year…meaning work retail at Christmas…and then some how I forget how really bad it gets and do it again. We shall see if I do it again next year! But that’s not why you came here….so here for your enjoyment is my holiday edition of “weird things I saw at work”. I have quite a few because the closer it got to Christmas the more I things I saw…It got to the point that my coworkers would come over and say…”here’s one for your blog”….

I don’t even know where to start, but here goes…

1. Bottle of Gatorade in toilet – ok, I know that you need to throw things away when you are shopping…but really?? Did someone actually think they could flush that down the toilet…

2. Woman looking at phone for directions – no this one did not ask me for directions to the bathroom, the mens department, the mall, her car(yes people really ask me where they parked their car) I especially like when I’m standing behind the counter and they ask, “do you work here?” I got to the point I started saying…well that depends on what you want…anyway this woman had a map pulled up of the store and was trying to find her way out….this is not a huge store…does anyone think of just walking around a bit and looking for the door? Evidently not this woman…

3. Person with a picture on their phone – this was the thing this year, everyone had pictures of perfume and were asking me if we had this or that? But this person(man) came up and showed me a picture of the Lancome counter right beside him and asked where this was?  I thought he was joking…mistakingly… as evidently I was mistaken many times the past few weeks….thinking people couldn’t possibly be this stupid…anyway, I turned him around and pointed to the Lancome counter and said ….THERE!

4. Man asking for directions – yes, again…he asked where the bathroom was…I always ask now..womens or mens…since recently someone got angry at me for assuming they were a man when they were a woman… I told the man it was upstairs..he asked where upstairs..I told him in the corner of the mens clothing department…he looked at me and said, “where exactly”…I turned around like I had another customer because I wasn’t going to take his hand and lead him to the bathroom…

5. Coworker ends up in emergency room – my friend and coworker told me Christmas Eve morning when I came in that she had been in the emergency room until 2 am…she was showing a man perfume and bent down to get something and as she was getting up he was spraying the perfume….in the wrong direction and it went into her eye and immediately it swelled up. She is on steroids…

6. Man who needed a certain brand of perfume – now this would be fine and happens all the time..in fact I am glad when men know what brand they are looking for instead of trying to describe the bottle or scent to me….but this guy says…”do you carry perfume from Nordstrom”…again I think he must be putting me on because we are clearly not Nordstrom…I just looked at him and said I think you need to go to Nordstrom for that one. And off he went.

7. Putting a lock on one of our perfume cases – we had an issue with one of our cases losing the lock. They must be kept locked at all times. However this case had been without a lock for over a year. On the few days leading up to Christmas we take all the locks off as it would be crazy trying to get in and out of the cases constantly with locks on them. On the day before Christmas…a guy…huge guy…comes in and proceeds to put a lock on the case that didn’t have one. We could not get past him inside the counter area to wait on customers and he just kept working on it even when one of the associates told him this was not a good time to do this. Finally he finished up and left. I looked around at all the open cases and I mean all the other cases that were hanging open….that is except of course for the newly fixed case…I said and I might add a little too loud….wow, I’m so glad that we finally have a lock on that case!

8. Toddler eating cardboard – my coworker said she was talking to a woman about perfume and the lady had an 18 month old child with her in a stroller…my coworker looked down and the child was eating a huge piece of cardboard. My friend says to the woman, “oh, she shouldn’t be chewing on that it has paint on it”…to which the lady replies, “oh at least it’s keeping her quiet.” and I must say, thank goodness for that cause we have enough screaming kids in the store…

9. Guy looking for a gift for his wife – this sounds quite normal, right? I agree it was until I showed him a perfume and he took the bottle from me and sprayed it in each of his arm pits. I walked away….

10. Long haired guy looking for Rudolph – this guy comes up to my friend and I and shows us a picture on his phone. I’m thinking another perfume…no. It was a red nose…Rudolphs nose….one of those furry red noses, a huge one like people have on the front of their cars only bigger…and asked where he could find this? We both looked a each other and looked away so we wouldn’t crack up like we were ready to do and she says…maybe the Dollar Store…or somewhere, I really don’t know what store she told him cause I couldn’t look at her or stand there any longer. I wonder if he found one..

I have more but this is quite enough for today I think. It is a hard job working retail at Christmas. Most of the people I waited on were nice…they thanked me for my help and wished me a Merry Christmas…many more than in years past. Everyone was doing the “Happy Holidays” thing for a long time but this year it was Merry Christmas again. It did my heart good to hear it. I tried to keep a positive attitude when it got hectic and not let things get to me. That didn’t work every day. But it helped. That and lots of Starbucks coffee…

“Working retail at Christmas is fun….said no one ever…”

10Dec/17
the locket

The Locket

Aging, Life, ,

so much more than a piece of jewelry…

the locket

The locket…

I always wanted a locket. I asked my parents for one every year on my birthday and at Christmas. I got everything else I wanted…well almost…but never a locket. I got a beautiful gold ID bracelet when I was 5 and threw it in the trash can at my Grandma’s house. I wanted a locket. I know it wasn’t nice but I “was” only 5… My mother looked at my arm and asked me where my bracelet was…I took her hand and led her out into the kitchen and pointed in the trash can.. To say she was unhappy with me is putting it mildly. I didn’t get to wear the bracelet for awhile…”until I learned how to take care of it”…

What made me think about this is a few weeks ago a friend and I at work were talking about the days when everyone wore lockets. We both said our grandmothers had one and so did our mothers. But not me, no I never had one. I remember one birthday in particular I again asked for the yearly gift request…a locket. My mother just smiled and said we will see. Here is a picture of me at my birthday party that year…not wearing a locket. My friend sitting next to me is proudly wearing hers though. Me…I’m the one with the kind of sad look on my face…and its my party…and “I’ll cry if I want to”..

birthday party

Cheri with a locket…me with no locket…

And so this continued throughout my life…this no locket thing. Every year I would wish so hard for someone…anyone to give me a locket. And every year I would be disappointed when I didn’t get one. I would even see a woman on tv wearing one and think to myself…how can they have a locket and I still don’t…

After a while I think lockets became passe..I never saw anyone wearing one and to tell you the truth I had forgotten about my desire to have one. That is until I finally received one. As most of you who read my blog know, my son committed suicide in July of 2016. At Christmas last year my youngest daughter presented me with a gift. Everyone stood around me as I opened the gift and to my surprise…it was a beautiful locket. I loved it! I had finally got a locket. However little did I know that this was not just any locket…she had spent weeks making this one herself. I thought it was beautiful and I finally got what I had always wished for most. My locket.

As I looked at the beautiful necklace my daughter told me to open it and inside was a picture of my son. It was taken just 2 short weeks before his death. It caught me off guard. I loved it!

locket

The inside with my son’s picture..

The tears started flowing as I held the locket in my hand and wrapped my arms around my daughter. This was such a precious gift and I started to tell her how much I loved it. Before I could finish she stopped me and said, “turn it over and look at the back.” And that is when I really lost it. On the backside of the locket when I turned it over was my son’s signature…his own handwriting..I would know it anywhere. And now it is on this beautiful necklace. There was also a butterfly which he loved and always considered a sign. And now I do as well…a sign from him.

back of the locket

A butterfly and his signature….

I couldn’t believe that my daughter made this and worked on it for weeks to have it ready for me by Christmas. I couldn’t stop crying and told her it was the most beautiful thing she could ever have given me and if she never gave me another thing…this was enough…

I wear this locket every day and I think of my daughter when I look at it and give thanks for her thinking of making me such a wonderful gift. I also think of my son when I look at it and feel as if he is with me every day…there in the locket, close to my heart. Sometimes if I am having a really bad day or feeling a little sad..I get this strange feeling and I look down and the locket is flipped over to his signature…I look up to the sky and say…”Thank you Dave.”

“Every gift which is given, even though it be small, is in reality great, if it is given with affection.” ~ Pinder

Did you ever have a locket? Did you ever receive a gift that just blew you away?

25Nov/17
apron hanging on wheel

Weird Things I Saw At Work…Part 3

Humor, Life, ,

believe me its never ending….

apron hanging on wheel

and I wasn’t even in the store yet…

It is really a constant source of amusement or amazement(not sure if that’s a word) working in retail. At least where I work. People have said I should just do a weekly column about this but I don’t want you to get bored with it so I will do one every now and then…especially when I have a bunch of good ones to tell you. Here are some from the past week.

1. The apron in the picture – not sure if the person said, “the hell with this job” and hung it there as they left…or they just wanted to air it out. Believe me when I say I am grateful I work in the perfume department as a lot of people walking by really need it!

2. Man who was a little confused – a very strange man came up to the counter and asked how much the perfume was that was sitting there. He wanted to know much the bottle was by itself and how much the set was…I told him the prices. My co worker walked up and he asked her the very same question. She told him what I had just told him. He then looks at both of us and says..”Oh, ok…I need to go I’m a little high.” and off he goes. Leaving the two of us standing there looking at each other like did this really just happen?? And yes…yes it did!

3. Girl on phone – now this is not different or strange in that someone was on the phone while shopping and asking questions while trying to talk to me about perfume…this happens all the time. Sometimes I will ignore them and they look at me and say “excuse me I was asking you a question”…to which I give my standard reply…”Oh, I’m sorry I thought you were talking to the person on the phone and I was waiting until you were finished”….However in this instance what was different and strange was that she was on 2 phones at the same time…. she was texting on one and talking on the other one. I can barely talk or text on mine while shopping and she was doing all three at the same time. Is this what is known as amiphonedexterous…I just made this word up…but it should definitely be a word.

4. Question at the Clinique counter – my coworker at the Clinique counter told me this one…(my friends there now know I write about these things and give me some of their favorites to use) a customer asked her if she bought the Clinique foundation could she get the Lancome free gift???? What?

5. What happened at Starbucks? – Now I know this didn’t happen in my store but it was right outside the door at Starbucks so I can count it. I need a break every so often and go get a cup of coffee… a woman in front of me bought $37 worth of Starbucks for her and her 3 children….really?? and they were little kids…do they really know the difference between a drink at McDonalds and Starbucks…

“When everything’s coming your way, you’re in the wrong lane.” ~ Steven Wright

6. Strange woman – I’ve had a lot of weird people come by the perfume counter in my almost 15 years in the business….but this one was one of the weirdest. A woman walks up and is staring at the perfume in front of her. I asked if I could help her find a perfume…she responds to my question by picking up the bottle in front of her and sprays it up her crotch… then she slams it back down on the counter, looks at me with a very mean scary look and walks away. Alrighty then….

7. Weird cosmetic question – I’d like to return this $4 eyebrow sharpener…where do I go….loaded question…I said I really don’t know…I don’t work here…

8. Man looking for a particular fragrance but didn’t know the name – This happens a lot…people come up and say I don’t know the name but I know the bottle if I see it…so the guy says this to me and says I will just walk around and look for it. He comes running back up to me all excited and says, “I found it!” I said oh good, do you want it…to which he replies…”no, but I found it.” I know I always have the same look on my face when these things happen and a co worker will come over and ask…”what now?”

9. Channel 5 – people are always asking for Channel…it is very popular and all the ads on tv make it even more popular…the thing that gets me even with all the advertising is people still continue to call it…Channel 5 or just where is the Channel…I always say which Channel do you want…just to be a smart ass…but of course they don’t get it…it just gives me a tiny bit of  pleasure to say it…

10. Coconut Chanel – while we are on the Chanel channel….this happened yesterday. A customer asked for Coconut Chanel instead of Coco Chanel…sorry if you don’t think its funny….but for us who work retail….you get your laughs where you can in our world…

By the way all the computers were down in our world for most of the afternoon yesterday and we couldn’t accept credit cards…not even the store credit card…people had to pay cash….CASH! Do you even know what kind of commotion this caused and how many sales we lost? Who carries cash? Evidently not many people…

Well I must go back in there again so I have to go get ready…. here is my question for you…Have you ever worked retail…and what was the funniest or stupidest thing that you ever had happen?  And please…wish me luck today…

“If you don’t know where you are going, you might wind up someplace else.” ~ Yogi Berra

 

 

18Nov/17
say what

10 Things You Just Don’t Want To Know…

Humor, Life,

But I’m going to tell you anyway…

say what

Say What??

I have seen and heard some weird things lately so I thought I would just put them out there for all of you. I don’t want to be the only one that has weird things going through  their mind… You may have some of your own. Things you really could have gone through your life not knowing…or at least I could have with these…

1. Finding out your relationship has ended on Facebook. This one wasn’t me but it happened to a friend. Really you couldn’t at least text them first.

2. Knowing how many people each day fly by you in their car and are texting while driving. Sometimes i see them, sometimes I don’t. It’s the ones I don’t see that scare me.

3. Finding out your husband is “seeing” your neighbor who lives up the street. Actually he was doing a little more than just “seeing” her… And yes we were married during this. Fun times….

4. Finding out your parents have sex. I was so mortified by this.. I guess I thought I was brought here by aliens, which by the way is what Mom told me… and after finding this out I almost wished it was the truth.

5. I saw online somewhere just recently that humans will eat about 8 spiders in our lifetime while we are sleeping. Not sure if it’s true or not, but don’t you think we would wake up if a spider was crawling around in our mouth… I pray to all that’s holy I would…

6. If the whole spider thing isn’t bad enough….according to the FDA there are 60 or more fragments of insects per 100 grams of chocolate. Yum! Protein in our chocolate bar. I guess that makes it healthy to eat chocolate.

7. Finding out your ex is dating your best friend. This of course did not happen to me because none of my friends could stand my ex. It did happen to a friend of mine and she was devastated. She is isn’t friends with either of them anymore.

8. This one is extra special….20% of office coffee mugs contain fecal matter. Thank goodness for Starbucks! And really how does it get in the mugs…wait….I really don’t want to know.

9. Finding out when you get home from a fun day of shopping and then dinner that you had toilet paper sticking out of your pants all day. I saw this happen today and wanted to tell the woman but thought she may get upset. I guess she was upset anyway when she got home and no one had told her.

10. And last but not least….humans shed over 600,000 particles of skin every hour…(saw this on Facebook, and if its on FB it has to be true)….one question…why am I not skinny after losing all of this skin????

“What you don’t know can’t hurt you.” ~ Proverb

Well evidently some times it could….What could you have done without knowing?

 

 

10Nov/17
kids

Remember When…

Aging, Life, ,

ah, yes…those were the days..or were they??

kids

Back in the day….

I ran across this photo the other day..it is one of my all time favorites of my 3 kids taken by my ex-husband. Must have been late 70’s considering their ages. But it got me to thinking….What will people of this generation do when all their photos are on their phones or computers and not in albums or hanging on the wall? There are so many things I wish we still did or had from “back in my day”…and here are a few I came up with..

Remember when TV was free – We had I think, about 8 channels and an antenna to get them. But we didn’t know any different and were happy with that. We also had such quality shows on tv back then. Now we have thousands of channels.. a very expensive bill each month….and nothing to watch.

Remember when it was free to play sports in school – at least I don’t remember paying for anything back then. I don’t remember paying for anything my kids did in school either. They just played and had fun. Sports back then weren’t  such a big deal as they are today and they didn’t have to go 4 hours from home to play their game. I also don’t remember having to buy them all the things they needed to use everyday, like pencils or tablets(and I mean paper ones). They got them at school. For free.

Remember when doctor visit costs were minimal and no insurance was needed – the doctor we went to knew us…I mean knew us…he knew everything about us and our family and we never had to remind him of something he should have known because “he” was the doctor. He was like a family member. And he cared.

Remember when we knew all of our neighbors –  And I do mean all of them. It was great. Our parents didn’t have to worry about us because someone always knew us and what we were up to. I have lived in this house for 10 years and only know the person who lives to the left of my house. Maybe if people would try to get to know their neighbors again it would help us all understand each other a little better.

Remember when people said hi to you on the street – This is kind of related to knowing our neighbors but not really. We would go to the mall or grocery store or even just walking down the street somewhere and come upon a stranger…we would smile and they would smile back and offer a greeting of some sort. Now if I smile at someone I don’t know they look at me like I have two heads. Would it really hurt you to just smile back…

Remember when families ate dinner together every night – Yes, every night…regardless who had some activity or sport we still ate together. We laughed and we all told stories about our day. We bonded for that hour or half hour or whatever amount of time we had. But we had it and we were all together…and we were better for having had it.

Remember when people weren’t checking their phones every five minutes – We could go to dinner with friends or family members and actually have an uninterrupted conversation. Wow. I know some of you didn’t know this could even happen. I know I am guilty of doing it sometimes but I try to turn it off and just enjoy the people around me. Life is short. We all need to be more present in the moments we have with the people we care about.

Remember when people dressed appropriately – People dressed professionally for work. They wore suits and the women wore dresses. Yes, I get that times have changed and these are old fashioned outdated rules. Having said that, is it appropriate to wear tennis outfits and exercise outfits to work?? And my answer to that is a big NO…unless of course you are on your way to play tennis or work out. But not at work. At the store where I work they recently relaxed their rules about what the employees could wear. Now customers ask me who works here and who can I talk to about this item I bought…they say it is hard to tell who is working here and who is on their way to the gym. I have to agree with them. There is something to be said about looking professional at your job…if you dress like you don’t care, quite possibly you don’t! And this goes for kids as well. The way they dress for school or to come to the mall is appalling…I realize this makes me sound like an old lady…well so be it. Who are these parents letting their kids go out of the house looking like they are going to the beach…tank tops(the kind I wear under things) and their tummies sticking out? I could go on and on about this one…it is all about having a little respect.

Remember when we left things unlocked – We left our cars and our doors unlocked when I was growing up. Now we have security systems in both and they still get broken into. What has changed? Why did people behave differently back then?

Remember having fallout shelters – I recently dropped my grand daughter off at school and saw a very faded “Fallout Shelter” sign on the side of the building. The school was built in 1949. It immediately took me back to the 60’s and seeing this sign everywhere. We also had drills in school where we were all huddled under our desks or out in the hall way crouched down on all fours covering our heads with our arms. Do they even do this at school anymore?

Remember when appliances and cars lasted forever – Very rare was the occasion we had to replace an appliance. They just didn’t break down. They lasted so long my parents would just get tired of them and buy an updated one. And cars…my Dad would always buy new and it would last until he was sick of it. And they didn’t always need a repair or a part fixed.  If it did, he could most times fix it himself. We didn’t have to take it in to the dealer and have them run it on some machine to have the electrical system checked out to see what the problem was. Of course he always bought an American car. He had a fit when I got a foreign one.

These are just a few I thought of. I know there are a bunch more and maybe you can think of something I didn’t and post it below in the comments. I also tend to think the music was better back then too, but that’s just me.

“Nothing is more responsible for the good old days than a bad memory.” ~ Franklin Pierce Adams (too funny and too true…I do have a bad memory these days)

03Nov/17
family

I Want Things Back The Way They Were…

Aging, Life, ,

I know it’s not possible…but I still want it!

I miss all my family members who are no longer here….

The holidays are coming…whether we want them to come or not! I see the ads on tv and the decorations going up in the stores. I used to love the holidays and now I don’t.

I had a huge family growing up. I was one of the lucky ones. My mother was one of 8 and my father was one of 5. I had so many aunts, uncles and cousins it was hard to keep track of all of them. But it was so wonderful having a large family and getting together with them to celebrate the holidays. We spent most holidays together, Memorial Day, 4th of July, Labor Day….and then Thanksgiving and Christmas was just our immediate family.

One by one over the past few years we have lost so many family members and we continue to lose them. I know this happens to every family and I know it is a part of growing older. I accept that. I don’t like it..but I accept it. What I have trouble accepting is the people I have lost due to them dying before their time and therefore changing the way we celebrate or actually not celebrate anymore.

My oldest child and I were just discussing what we would do for Thanksgiving this year. Would we go out to eat or just make something for the two of us here at the house? It’s just us now, her and I. My youngest lives over 500 miles away, and my middle child is gone. Many years ago we used to go to Mom’s and then we started going out to eat when it got to be too much for her. My youngest daughter would have it at her house in later years and then after she moved my son and daughter in law continued the tradition. Now none of those is an option.

It never really mattered where we had our gatherings…. it only mattered that we were all there. Everyone together, laughing, playing stupid games until someone peed themselves…usually my sister. And then later the men would all gather in a room with a tv and the women would be in the kitchen cleaning up the mess and having a little extra dessert. Now due to the death of my son and my daughter living in Vermont it leaves my older daughter and I… just us two. There will be no big celebration or gathering of family and friends.

family gatherings

this is the way it used to be…

It isn’t just Thanksgiving. As we talked the other night.. we realized this is “it” now. This is our new normal…or whatever “it” is. With most of the family gone and so many friends who have moved away…it’s just her and I. So what’s the answer? Can you rent a family? Maybe we should volunteer somewhere… I know we were lucky to have had the family we did, but sometimes having had that just makes it harder when you don’t… and I’m really not trying to play the “poor me”….”pity us” card. I’m just asking where does that leave us…

What do other people do? I know we can’t be the only ones that this has happened to. Maybe we should advertise in the paper… we can’t be the only two that are alone. And I know I am not alone. I have my daughter here, thank goodness. But what if I didn’t? I like spending time alone and have done it for a long time now. That isn’t what we are talking about here. I’m talking about not having my people anymore. Not having our family gatherings anymore. This is the time of the year you spend with family and we don’t have any to spend it with…living here in the area. Last year I begged my niece to have Thanksgiving at her house. I just didn’t want to be alone so close to losing my son. She did of course and we had a wonderful family time together. (and just fyi, women were in the kitchen and men in the living room with the tv..LOL)

There have been few times in the past when I wished I didn’t have to go to the family gathering. I wanted to do something different…go somewhere else….spend time with some other people for a change…just once… “What’s the big deal, they won’t even miss me if I don’t go.” This is what I thought at the time. But that’s not how it is at all. I would have been missed and it would have made a difference if i wasn’t there. I know that now… I didn’t then. Why does it take us so long to realize the value of family and the people we love? Now I get it. Now I would give anything to have those special family times back.. Just one more time!

Do you get together with your family? Do you still have a large family? Do you enjoy your times together?

“Family is not an important thing, it’s everything.” ~ Michael J Fox

 

 

 

 

26Oct/17
acorn funny face

More Weird Things I Saw At Work…

Humor, Life, ,

I could actually post one of these a day…..

acorn funny face

Smile..outside on the sidewalk…

I had so many other posts in my head for this week and couldn’t decide which one to share. I have had a long week already and needed to write something to make me smile. It seems the older we get the more things we have come up to make us wonder, what’s it all about, why do these things happen, why can’t things just be simple…why can’t we all just get along…So because I don’t have the answers to any of these questions, I just decided to post something silly again because I just can’t deal with all the other stuff…

Here are some more weird things that I saw at work..bear in mind I work at a large department store…

A 70 something year old woman still clinging to the 80’s – She was wearing leggings and leg warmers and hair teased up to there….bless her little disco dancing heart, the 80’s must have really struck a cord with her and she wasn’t about to let them go…

Guy spraying women’s perfume all over his body – He did this after I told him this was woman’s perfume he was spraying..he finished spraying and then quickly walked over to the cosmetic counter and looked in the mirror, lifted his shirt(much to our dismay) wiped his eyes with the shirt, fixed his hair and walked away.

Girl at the counter with 2 phones – She was texting on both of them at the same time. Note: I have trouble texting on one. And, really is she that important she needs two phones or is she leading a secret life she doesn’t want someone to know about??

Roll of toilet paper out on the sales floor – not sure how or why this got there…maybe someone thought they might need it and so they carried it around with them for awhile and then decided…nope I’m good and just dropped it.

roll of tp

we all need this, but seriously…

Throwing the recycling in with the other trash – I am all for recycling and was happy when we got recycling cans in each department…at least I was until the other day. The girl who cleans the store came by to empty our trash and dumped both cans(the recycling can that clearly has marked for paper and plastic only written on the side and the regular trash can) into one large trash can. Kinda defeats the purpose of having a specified recycling can, don’t you think?

Woman taking pictures on her phone of the store directory – I’m guessing she didn’t want to get lost in our small two level store…or she is coming back later to steal something wants to have the quickest get away route all planned out…

Guy walking all around the store with fingers in both ears – Now I realize sometimes the screaming kids can get to you cause believe me they get to me…but it was really quiet in the store that day so not sure why he kept his fingers in his ears the entire time he was in the store.

After the toilet paper incident, I thought.. aha, this is why – Not too long after seeing the roll of tp, I came across this on the floor…again on the sales floor not in the bathroom…I swore it was poop and called someone over to clean it up. It was mulch. In my defense it really did look like poop.

ppop or mulch

poop..or mulch..you decide

Woman breastfeeding baby at the cosmetic counter – the woman plopped down in the chair at the counter, whips out her boob and starts feeding her baby. No cover up…nothing. I’m not going to get into the rights or wrongs of this…I had 3 kids and always went into another room to feed my babies. I know some woman feel differently…but really.. at the cosmetic counter..and the cosmeticians are there trying to sell makeup….not to mention we have a perfectly good rest room with comfortable chairs a few feet away.

Mother changing her child’s clothes at perfume counter – I had just remarked to a coworker that it was “crazy day” in the store…(a few of these things happened all in one day) when a woman walks up to the perfume counter drops her bags on the counter, takes her child’s clothing off(kid is around 5 or 6) and then takes clothing out of the bag she has dumped and proceeds to put the new clothing on the kid. Again, we have a perfectly good restroom a few feet away.

You can’t make this stuff up. But that’s all for today. I have many more and like I said I could do one of these posts every week or sometimes every day. I hope you enjoyed this and maybe even got a chuckle out of it. I know I did and I sure needed it!

Am I the only person that sees stuff like this? What have you seen that made you laugh or say, “WTH” lately?

“Everything is funny, as long as it’s happening to somebody else.” ~ Will Rogers