and does it matter if we don’t…
might be the only place to get our sh*t together…
My youngest texted me the other night and I asked her what she was doing. She said she was “working on getting her sh*t together.” I texted her back and said, “honey, I’m 67 and I still don’t have mine together. In fact I don’t even know where it is.”
Since I was at the beach with my girl friends we all started talking about this and every single one of them said they didn’t think we ever really get it all together. So my question today is….Can we truly get our sh*t together or do we spend our entire lives trying to do this? It seems to me and this is just my own personal experience, whenever I think I have it all together, life goes…”not so fast there girl”…and something happens to let me know I don’t.
I’ve spent most of my adult life working on “me”…trying to be a better person, figuring out who I am, and what I want out of life. And honestly I think I know less now than I did when I was in my 30’s. I read all the self help books back in the 80’s and 90’s…books by Norman Vincent Peale, Dale Carnegie, Steven Covey and more… they all helped me be more positive after my divorce and even do some of the things I always wanted to do, like have my own business. But now in my 60’s I have no clue how to get it together. Could it be because we think we know everything when we are younger and as we age we figure out…we don’t.
Maybe the answer to this question is that as we age we know we don’t have all that much time to figure it out anymore? That the life we have left is growing shorter every day and we won’t ever figure out what we really want or desire. I’m not saying by any means that I am unhappy or feel “less than” for not figuring out my whole existence by now. But I really would like to know what I’m here for, why am I on this earth and what am I supposed to do…or have I already done it?
“Your life does not get better by chance, it gets better by change.” ~ Jim Rohn
I still think I should get my sh*t together once and for all at this point in my life. Really I should. I just don’t think it’s possible. However, I did come up with a theory of why we can’t while we were all discussing it and this is what I came up with….Hope you are ready for this one…Maybe we work on our sh*t our whole lives and that is what we are meant to do… and then when we finally, once and for all get it together and figure it all out…we die. I know…I know…but it does make some weird cosmic sense that this may be the answer. We finally have attained the unattainable… so what is there left to do?
After coming upon this life altering thought… I then decided not to work so hard on getting it all together any time soon because I want to be around for a while. I am just going to enjoy my life, have fun and give up on trying to figure it all out. This isn’t easy for me to do because I have this deep seated need to be aware of my reason for being here. I always have. I don’t know if I can really do this or not. But I’m going to try.
Having said that I am going to give up trying to figure it all out also means I can not waste time on the “why’s” in my life…why don’t I still have the marriage I thought would last forever, my family that is gone and the money I was told I would have is not there. Things like that. Thinking about things such as this drive us crazy. Change happens through out our entire lives, as we well know “the only constant in our lives is change.” Sometimes we just have to deal with the cards we are dealt and move forward. It’s the same as constantly trying to get our sh*t together. We need to learn to live with the fact we may never get it together. And that’s ok!
Ok, I’ve decided getting my sh*t together isn’t important! Life changing decision for me. I hope I can do this. So then what is important? What is important is being able to live in the moment. Don’t try to live in the future and worry about what is to come or dwell on the past and think about the “why’s and “what if’s.” Live life fully, enjoy the people we love and who love us. Dance to the music, walk in the rain and lay on the beach listening to the waves and just “be”… Live!!
Do you have your sh*t together? If you don’t, does it matter to you? If you do, please tell us how you did it?
“All you need in this life is ignorance and confidence, and then success is sure.” ~ Mark Twain (maybe this is why I felt like I had it together back in my 30’s..I was very self confident then…and also very ignorant)
Hahaha, I love this post. It made me laugh, I do NOT have my sh*t together, but right now I also feel myself falling into a really deep depression, and when I’ve gotten into those in the past, I have come dangerously close to never making it out. So finding a way to get my sh*t at least somewhat more together than it is now would probably be a good idea. But I don’t know how to do it. I feel like I have once again given too much of myself away for no return. People refuse to do even the smallest things to help pick me up. How do you not feel like total caca about that? Seriously, is there a way not to feel terrible?
Elizabeth, I am glad I could make you laugh even for a little while..I am sorry you are falling into a depression. Please feel free to contact me if you need someone to talk to. I lost my son 9 months ago and I am dealing with that. So I get it.
Oh my Renee, I loved this blog!!! I laughed so many times just reading this! You nailed it Sis, you really did! Change is the only constant! I know it and I say it often and yet bulk at it many times instead of just going with the flow and that other saying ‘it is what it is’ cannot be ignored! Let me just say it is comforting to me to know that you expressed so many of the thoughts I have wrestling inside of me. This year in particular I knew would bring many changes to my life and to the lives of my family but it sure hasn’t played out at all like we all planned. I know I’m not in charge and the turn of events just proves it. That being said, each day I try and some days it is trying to just appreciate all that I have and stop and smell the roses, hug my friends, love my family and life! Thank you for ‘using your words’ so well! Hugs!
Joanie, I know this has been a tough year for you and you are handling it with grace and love. I am here for you and happy I could make you laugh once again…
I think this is your best entry yet, “Hellion”!!! Every time I wish someone a Happy Birthday on-line, I always tell them to “dance to the music” and now I know why!!! We really only do have the present moment because the past is gone and unchangeable and tomorrow may never come. I think if we can strive to be thoughtful and yet not worry over-much we can do great good, for ourselves, our loved ones and friends and maybe even the world! I find much meaning from my faith and that has always been important to me. I cherish my family and my friends. All of us leave our mark on this world as we pass by, and I would like to think I have left more positive, than negatives, but then we are all mere mortals and have to forgive ourselves for our shortcomings. The One who has died for me has forgiven them, so I must forgive myself and others! Forgiveness is not always easy and I must admit, I am still working on that one. I was born under the sign of the scale, (not that I hold much belief in that sort of thing!). But in my case, I always do seem to be trying to weigh things out in my mind. Maybe I should do less of that, and just live each day for the glory and joy of it! I do worry way too much…what a waste of time that is!! Once more you have plucked at my mind and given me much to ponder!! As our days grow shorter, I think I want the rest of mine to be filled with more joy and more celebration, helping others where I can, loving my family, marveling over the beauty of the nature all around us, reading more of your musings and well……just dancing to the music!!!!! Thanks!!!!
Thank you Georgia, I am glad you enjoyed it and found some helpful things in my post…you are so welcome!
I think I have my sh*t together – I haven’t worried about it for a long time, though. Too busy working through what life throws my way. So, I am reactive and not proactive – but that’s a discussion for another time. What I could change is the fact that I tend to be negative, and sometimes too negative towards those I love. So, maybe I don’t.
At least you know you are too negative to those you love Alana…so you can work on it…while you still have them.
I’m still working on mine – it took me to 50 to realize that I had no idea who I really was and what I actually wanted. So I’m giving myself this decade to try to figure it out and then I’m just going to wing it with what I end up with. ATM I’m just working out whether I can be bothered trying to keep everyone happy or if I’m allowed to leave them to it and suck up the consequences – selfishness is looking rather appealing 🙂
Yes, Leanne, I looked out for everyone else all my life, it’s “me” time now… we need to just do it…
Wow.We really are alike. I wonder all the same things.
Usually I don’t care but apparently stomach flu weaknesses last forever–who knew?
I did something today I never did before—I’m used to going to doctor’s and complaining for others. Today I went to my PCP’s and complained about how a doctor’s office that they recommended treated me. My PCP was shocked as I’m such a good girl—when it comes to me. I also sent the specialist’s office a letter explaining why I’m changing doctors–not easy to do here as we’re rapidly growing and medical professionals don’t keep us with us.
I find that if I blog about something bad, I get it out and the anger or whatever is gone, baby gone!
Thanks again for your wonderful comment. It was one of the things that helped change this day around!
And your comments turned my day around…Thank you! And…You go girl, call um like you see um…
Omg tbis almost made me cry. Maybe i dont need my shit together and can quit trying.
We DON’t Michele! We are good just like we are!! Thanks for commenting!
I love this! As a life coach, I do help people answer the “why I’m here” question, but here’s the thing – as a spiritual seeker, I think we all have a “god-shaped hole in our soul” as Victoria Moran once said.And I think it creates a longing for more meaning. I think it’s not uncommon for those of us who are seekers to continually try to better ourselves and to continue our growth (’cause in all of nature, if you’re not growing, you’re dying.)
But, that said, we must balance that with LIVING in the NOW as well. I loved this line: I am just going to enjoy my life, have fun and give up on trying to figure it all out. This isn’t easy for me to do because I have this deep seated need to be aware of my reason for being here.
So good!
Thank you so much Vikki! I do have that need, but I am going to try and ignore it…
It always matters that you put your thoughts into your blogs. Many famous writers have used the same approach. A case in point is Hemingway in A Moveable Feast. To answer the question you posed, the response is a resounding no. It takes a lifetime to build a person and their character. Getting your shit together is just one step in fulfilling that quest.
Thanks Andy for your comments as usual, I look forward to them…you always have a great take on my words.
Getting “Your Shit Together” in my world is an ongoing process. I’m 60 and really don’t even care. After talking to my mentor today, Aunt Rae, the message was “Let it Be.” You are great and fabulous, Let it Be, relax and have fun. xoxoxoxo
Good for you…not sure it will be that easy for me, but I am going to try…
I think at 70 I finally have my SHIT together. I retired, have no money woes and I LAUGH continuously with my family and friends and I’m happy with ME and I think that’s all that matters. While I never FOUND the love of my life, Ive had enough relationships to realize, I wasn’t really happy then either. Sure it was nice having someone around and to go places with, but also they were BAD for me in some way or another, so for the last 14 years I’ve been SINGLE and loving it HONESTLY. My family is GREAT, I am so blessed to have them and so many GOOD friends to do things with and laugh with, and to me,that’s having my SHIT together.. While my HEALTH is something I need to work on, apparently I’m doing OK for now, but yeah, thats ONE aspect I do need to give more work to. We’ll See 🙂 LOVE YA girl.
So are you saying when I reach 70 I will finally have it all together…yay! Glad you do, you deserve it! Love you too!