clock is ticking

Don’t Wait Till I’m Dead To Tell Me You Love Me

tell me how you feel, bad or good, just tell me now…

clock is ticking

time is running out…

We had my son’s “Celebration of Life” this past Sunday and everyone told such wonderful stories about him. Things I never knew that he did or how he made people feel. The stories they told made me cry and truly touched my heart. He was a good man and people knew it. People really did “get” him. I loved what they all said but It also made me think…”why didn’t we tell him this while he was alive?”

Yes, we tell people we love them and sometimes even thank them for being in our lives. But do we tell them how they make us feel? I think as we age and start losing people, we start to realize life is short and may not have the opportunity again to say the things we want to say. We may have missed the chance to tell them we cared. And “why” we cared…

I have a wonderful family and friends that I love like family. I have lost so many people so I make sure to tell each and every one of them every time I see them or talk to them how much I love them and how happy I am to have them in my life. But I may be lacking in telling them why. I need to start doing that more. From now on, I plan on telling my friends and family what they bring to my life…. how they make me feel, and why I love them.

Can we really get so caught up in our busy lives that we forget to tell the people we love that they matter? That their very existence is a reason to celebrate…and how much that existence means to us. I wish my parents were alive so I could tell them what a wonderful life they gave me and how I felt secure and loved every day. I wish my sister was alive so I could tell her how her kindness and goodness has inspired me to be a better person and how I look for the good everyday because of her.

“The greatest weakness of most humans is their hesitancy to tell others how they love them while they’re alive.” ~ Optimus Prime

I would love to be able to tell my son what a good, loving person he was and what a wonderful father he was to his two children. One of my favorite stories on Sunday was the one his first girlfriend told. She said she always loved the way he treated me and how much he loved me. He was her first love and she still remembers that almost 30 years later. The story she told touched me deeply. And I know he would have loved to hear what she said. My story was about the day I dropped him off at YMCA Camp and he kissed me and hugged me in front of all his buddies…..not caring what they thought or how they would make fun of him after I left. I always loved that and never forgot it.

The other story that touched me that day was when his uncle said, “if you ever needed to talk or were having a bad day, you knew you could pick up the phone and call Dave and he would be there for you. No matter what was going on in his life, he would be there and just listen.” What more could someone say about you? What could matter more than someone knowing this about you? That you would be there for them no matter what was going on in your life. And believe me, my son had a lot going on in his life. But he was there for his friends and family. They came first, sometimes maybe they shouldn’t have. Maybe he would still be here…

My point is tell the people you love what you love about them. Do it while they are here…don’t wait until you are standing over their grave or at their funeral when asked to speak. I want to clear something up here before anyone takes this post the wrong way…. my family and friends do tell me they love me. They show me they love me in so many ways. I know I’m loved believe me! These past few months have shown me just how much the people in my life care. People that I hadn’t seen for years, people that moved away, people that weren’t even that close to me. They were and are here for me and I know I am loved.

I just want us all to be more aware of how much it means to someone to hear not just that you love them, but also why you love them. How much it means to hear I love you because you have a caring heart. How much it means that you always check up on me and make sure I’m ok. How much it means that you know what I need before I know I need it. How much it means to me that you remember little things about my son and talk about him with me. How much it means that you send me texts about seeing a butterfly and you thought of Dave.

I do think the people we have lost know how much we love them and why. I think Dave heard all of us on Sunday. But wouldn’t it be wonderful to say it to them in person? To see their face and feel their joy. So I plan on telling my family and friends why I love them. I want to let them know just how important they are in my life. I don’t want to wait until it’s too late.

Do you let those you love know how much you love them? Do you tell them why…

“Don’t wait until it’s too late to tell someone how much you love them and how much you care about them. Because when they’re gone, no matter how loud you shout and cry, they won’t hear you anymore.” ~ Unknown




14 thoughts on “Don’t Wait Till I’m Dead To Tell Me You Love Me

  1. I also want to send you a virtual hug. Someone I went to high school with just passed the second anniversary of the death of his only son in a freak fall. His son was a teacher and there was such a massive outpouring of love and thanks from the school and his students, family, and friends. Your blog post made me wonder how aware this young man was of how loved and appreciated he was. How many of those people had told him while he was alive? Of course, he wasn’t around to witness what happened after his death. You are so right.

    1. Thank you Alana! I truly hope they can hear the stores and love from people but wouldn’t it be wonderful to tell them while they are here….

  2. Renee that was beautiful – I am soooo guilty of this (probably because I have been fortunate not to have lost anyone I really care about) I take them all for granted and this has been a great reminder to lift my game. I have been feeling a bit flat lately so maybe investing in others will help lift my spirits too x (and I am so sorry that your son wasn’t physically present to hear all those lovely stories).

    1. Thank you so much Leanne! I hope my story can help others to not take their loved ones for granted…

  3. First and most important……….I am sending you healing hugs and my sincere sympathies. What a beautiful blog. You are so right………..I am going to be more mindful of expressing how I feel about the people that I love and admire. Thank you for taking the time out during this difficult time in your life to help all of us create more loving and open relationships in ours.

    1. Thank you so much for your kind comments Ellen! I just thought about this while we were all talking and wondered why we don’t do it while people are around to hear us.

    1. Thank you Roxanne, I am grateful to know you as well…I am glad I could give this reminder to everyone….

  4. You are so right! That extra step on why is important and I will try to do this more. Thanks for making your grief into advice for the rest of us!

  5. I’ve worked so hard to get better at this the past few years. We aren’t a big I love your family but but but actions speak so much louder than words and I think I’ve become too complacent letting my actions to my parents indicate my love for them. Sometimes the words are better

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