Are you afraid to show your flab?
Me with my arms out in public..well, I am in a cave…
I have been thinking about this for awhile now. I had lunch recently with a few friends and it was a very hot day. I mean extremely hot and also humid. I couldn’t decide what to wear to go to lunch. I usually wear a sweater of some sort to cover my flabby upper arms. But instead, I decided to wear a short sleeve top…the one I have on in this photo above. Yes, I chose this picture and yes, it is dark, you don’t need to see the ugly details. But this made me think, do we really worry so much about body image that it forces us to wear something we feel uncomfortable in?
We of a certain age, are not young anymore but that doesn’t mean we still can’t be fashionable and also comfortable at the same time. Every time I wear this top I get compliments. Not sure if the compliments are for me or the top? But it feels good to wear it and not be sweating and uncomfortable.The first time I wore it at lunch with my friends they all commented on it and it started a conversation about how all of us were trying to hide those body parts that just weren’t how we wanted them to be anymore. I was happy I wore the top to lunch. And also I was happy about how freeing it was to do so.
What does this say about us? Has the fashion world made us all into someone who is so afraid of showing a little flab that we drive ourselves crazy and deny who and what we really look like? I was always in shape, I ran, I exercised and ate somewhat healthy. I wanted to be what I thought I was “supposed” to look like. I really don’t think that this was the case in our parents and grandparents day. They were all different sizes and shapes and I don’t remember anyone ever making a comment on how they looked. I also don’t remember any of them saying, “oh, I hate my arms” or “look at this muffin top I have.”
“If tomorrow, women woke up and decided they really liked their bodies, just think how many industries would go out of business.” ~ Dr Gail Dines
I think the younger generation is even more aware of their body image than we are. Kids in elementary school are asking each other if they are fat. What does this say about our priorities? How do we go about changing this and can we? Yes, we need to be healthy and I am not saying we should just all be what we are and not work towards being a better version of ourselves, but it shouldn’t be to the extreme. And there shouldn’t be shame if that doesn’t happen. We don’t need to be made to feel bad about how we look. We have enough other things in our lives that make us feel bad, we shouldn’t have to deal with that too.
I have recently seen celebrities and athletes being shamed on social media for adding a few pounds or posts stating they must be pregnant because they have a little bit of a stomach. Looking at the pictures makes me angry, because these pics are not at all of someone who looks pregnant, it is someone who is healthy and not a skeleton. I hope we can get to a point where we stop shaming each other and learn to embrace our bodies, flaws and all. I hope we can help the younger generation see it is ok to not be a size 0.
We don’t have much time here on this planet so we all need to try to be as healthy and happy as we can and enjoy our lives. Most of all we don’t need to spend our time worrying about whether of not to wear something we love or if it shows a little flab. I recently read an article that said, “you will never look like the girl in the magazine, the girl in the magazine doesn’t look like the girl in the magazine.” Embrace your flab and enJoy your life. Let’s let it all hang out! Well maybe not all of it…
“I love my body. I’m very much ok with it. I don’t think artists are ever the ones who have the problem with their weight, it is the other people.” ~ Kelly Clarkson
My question for you today is this, do you hesitate to wear something if it shows some flab or shows a little bit more tummy than you want to show? Please comment below and let me know your thoughts…
And thanks for your support!
Every single day that I draw breath, I make decisions based on my weight. I don’t wear the “cute” clothes. I do wear the “cover-up sweater,” even though it’s summer in Georgia. I don’t cut my hair short, because fat people shouldn’t do that. I do avoid public gatherings of friends and families because I don’t want them to see how disgusting I’ve become. I don’t post pictures on social media without making sure that I am shown from the most possibly flattering angle.
Being heavy is the hardest thing I’ve ever done, and I hate that that’s the case. Other things should be hard: losing loved ones, for example. But, no, being fat, and, more specifically, *caring* about what people think of the fat me, is the hardest thing I face every day.
So sorry….but we all need to just embrace who we are and what we look like…and I know the pain of losing loved ones. I just lost my son…
I hesitate only sometimes. Really, I don’t care that much. As long as I feel good about me. And about Me, I have started walking every morning @ 5 and cutting the carbs, so I have lost a few pounds and I’m happy. Today I am wearing a short skirt and a bling shirt and Belverly’s earrings and I feel great. Love to you my new friend.
Glad you are feeling good abut yourself…me too…hugs…
I am absolutely, positively in LOVE with this post. I still beat myself up about my stomach because it is not a six pack as it has been before. I’ve started to wear “flowy”er shirt where I used to be unconcerned. Not necessarily because I have not accepted me, but because people around me have not accepted that I will be supermodel size forever. Kudos to you and your acceptance of yourself as is.
I am so glad you liked it and that you “got” it…I have received a little flak over this post…Thanks for your comments…
I’m so sorry to hear that! Keep staying true to yourself in your writing.
I will and thank you…
When I was in high school the Marilyn Monroe look was “the look”. I probably weighed less than 100 pounds. Now I weigh around 135, and the now look is the Twiggy look. I can’t win, gave up trying, and really do not care anymore.
We are what we are Bonnie! 🙂
I have to say I try to cover up the belly and wear black especially if I know someone will be taking pictures. I also make sure to stand behind someone so it won’t stick out on Facebook.
Rebecca, I have given that all up now…I am free to fly my flab! Thanks for commenting…
Since starting menopause I have had all kinds of issues with my clothing. First, it was that I couldn’t wear synthetic fabrics anymore (they made me itchy and sweaty). Then, all of a sudden, I couldn’t stand having my clothes cling to my body – jeans, snug tops, etc. I decided to put comfort at the top of my list, with fashion a very close second, and I’ve found all kinds of pretty, comfortable clothes to wear.
Oh, yes, I know that feeling well. I am over menopause and still can’t stand that itchy sweaty feeling synthetic fabrics give me…LOL..We have to do what we have to do to be comfortable…Thanks Sharon!
I wear dresses and skirts everyday to work and sleeveless tanks and sheaths, however, my mid-section is not my best asset, therefore, I tend to wear items that are not too clingy. I have to feel good in order to look good no matter what I am wearing!
We all should feel good no matter what we are wearing…that is the key..Thank you for commenting…
Yes, I am totally guilty of this – trying to find clothes that ‘hide’ my extra body & I’m delusional to think that it does! I get a glimpse of myself in a mirror at different angles & I think, ‘What the heck happened?’ We are ‘maturing’ & I guess we just have to finally realize we aren’t the same size that we used to be ‘way back when’! I hate it but I’ll just have to deal with it cause the older I get, the harder it is to lose those pounds that I don’t want – not that I’m trying that hard! 🙂
We do all need to embrace our bodies as they are and be grateful we have one…you were the first person to tell me you loved my top that day…do you remember? Thanks Dinah!
Another great topic, on point! I had a slim body for many years and I guess took it for granted. I’d go pick out my size 8 and try it on and buy it. Not that way anymore! I could never understand how my mom had clothing of different sizes in her closet. NOW I understand! There are no 8’s in my closet anymore! Some 10’s that I want to wear again but mostly 12’s and depending on who makes them some fit well and some don’t! I exercise, eat healthy most of the time, take my ACV and am happy to be moving around relatively pain free most days. I think as we age we know there are more important aspects to life than a “perfect body”! Age is a process none of us escape. I’d rather be known for my kindness, understanding and quirky sense of humor!
Agree Joanie! And You are certainly known for your kindness, understanding and I love your quirky sense of humor!
OMG YES, I sure do hesitate all the time. I too, do not wear short sleeve shirts cause of FLABBY hanging out,lol, but some days ya just have to say F it and do it, like on the golf course. I still wear shorts too and trust me my legs are hideous, so I guess in the past year or two I’ve kinda let it go and don’t worry as much. I remember being SKINNY and thought, I can’t wear that, my belly’s too fat..Oh how I wish I had that belly again, hahaha. Yep as a society today, its all emphasis on SKINNY, its a shame cause I see YOUNG teenagers not eating and ya hear about purging and stuff, its kinda sad, but I also heard my grand daughter in law say that she was told her kids are overweight and OMG they are so skinny, its ridiculous, so its also society today thats causing this. I’m gonna LIVE LIFE my way, its not whats outside, its what I am inside and people can either like it or lump it right? Buttttt, I still will watch what I wear, lmao. Around the house, I let it LOOSE, hahaha. Love ya girlie…PS: NICE TOP.
Feel the same way Susie! I can’t stand the way society is making these young girls feel. We need to do better.