My Top Ten Biggest Fears…
fear…
If we are honest with ourselves, we all have a fear of something. When I was a child I didn’t have many because I knew my parents were there to protect me. As I grew older my fears changed along with my age. As a teenager my biggest fear was how I would get to the local dance joint and then how I would get home afterward. Oh, to be young and that is the only thing you have to fear. Life seemed so simple then and most of our fears at the time were simple as well.
As we age the fears are bigger and many of them can’t just be brushed aside. They are too real. We are getting older. We have lost people we cared about. We all are facing our fears every day and the best we can do is to try and enjoy our lives every single day and not have any regrets when we take our last breath. Ok, I don’t want to get too mauldlin, so lets get to it, below are my top ten fears…
“Love is what we were born with. Fear is what we learned here.” ~ Marianne Williamson
- Not having done everything on my bucket list. I have so many things I want to do yet in my life and I hope I have the time to do them all. I really need to start ticking more of them off the list. I have a lot left to do.
- I fear my hearing will get so bad I won’t be able to hear the sound of my kids and grandkids laughter. I know I would survive not being able to hear. I have problems already that cause me to miss many things people say. My hope is that I don’t lose my hearing totally and can’t hear the sound of laughter. There is nothing like that sound, especially when someone you love is the one laughing.
- Living too long and being a burden on my kids. I have seen this happen time and time again and don’t want it to happen to me. I want to be able to make my own decisions on my life and not have to rely on my kids to make them.
- I worry I will get dementia like my mother. I try to keep my brain active and constantly do new things. I am hoping that this will help. I saw what she went through and I don’t want my kids to see me go through that. I always wondered if she was really still in there and was trying very hard to tell us she was. It makes me sad to think that was the case. I always tried to let her know I understood how she felt.
- My fear I will die alone. I am not afraid of dying. I just hope I am not alone. As we age we lose so many friends and family members. It seems like at least once a week or more someone I know dies. I have already lost my immediate family.. my parents and my sister. So my wish is that I will continue to have the people I love around me as long as I’m here.
- Another huge fear of mine is that I will run out of money. What happens if I live till I’m 90, Will I have enough money? Will Social Security run out? Will I have to get a job when I am 80? It’s a very real concern.
- I fear I will never fall in love again. I really like being single. In fact I love it. I truly enjoy my independence and being able to do what I want, when I want. But I loved falling in love. The excitement of a new love is one of the all time great experiences in life. I fear I will never feel that way again.
- Losing my ability to drive. If I want to go somewhere I don’t want to have to rely on someone else to take me. I want to drive myself(my daughter would beg to differ, because she drives us a LOT, but I know I can if I want to) I think this is one of the biggest fears of most aging adults. And one of the hardest things for us to give up.
- Not being able to live in my own home. This home doesn’t have to be my present home, but I want it to be MY home. It could be an assisted living place of residence. I really would like it to be my own home. I know my mother didn’t want to leave her home but she had dementia and we were constantly worried about her safety. She told us constantly she wanted to be in her own home. And now I understand that.
- And finally I fear that the monster that resides under my bed will really truly eat my leg off once and for all if I forget and allow my leg to hang over the side of the bed. (I had to lighten things up a bit)
I don’t dwell on these fears but sometimes as I start to fall asleep they do creep into my mind. I know I am extremely blessed with good health, a loving family and many wonderful friends. I know people my age that have many of these fears and others. Some people fear losing their looks or their once slim body. I gave up on worrying about that quite a while ago. I exercise and try to take care of myself. But I can’t be worried about what I used to look like and why I don’t anymore.
Life goes by so fast. We shouldn’t spend our days being fearful. Yes, we do need to acknowledge our fears, we can’t just ignore them. But then we must try to move past the fear and find joy in every single day. Our fears are going to be there, but maybe we can learn how to keep them from sabotaging our happiness.
What are your biggest fears?
“The only thing we have to fear is fear itself.” ~ Franklin D. Roosevelt
My biggest fear is outliving my husband. He is the love of my life. My second biggest fear is dementia, either for me or for him. That is a living death.
yes me too, my mom had it and I don’t want my kids and grands to have to go through what I did with her.
I have so many fears I wrote an entire book about facing them (Some Nerve), and after interviewing many experts I can say that you are doing everything you can about your fears – exercising your mind and body, prioritizing the things that are important to you – and surrendering what you cannot control, and that is the definition of courageous living! Aging is hard, it is unlikely to be everything we hope for, but I love that you are in touch with your hopes and fears and going for the life you want.
Patty Thank you so much for the encouraging words! My writing helps me fight through my fears! Putting it out there really helps!
I have anxiety, so a lot of things make me afraid. I think you’re very brave for putting your fears out there. I mostly fear for my family’s health and safety. Those worries are always in the back of my mind.
Thank you Shann! I don’t feel brave, but I think it helps to state your fears…and get them out of your mind…
I fear getting old and not having anyone to take care of me. I don’t have children so I wonder what will happen as I age.
Rachel, I have kids and still worry about it. my friends have told me they would let me be alone.
Honestly, my biggest fears as a child were being raped and becoming homeless.
Interestingly enough, they both have happened to me and I survived them both, though not easily, of course.
On the lighter side of things, I am always afraid to lose my eyesight. (I have horrible vision, have worn glasses since I was seven.)
Thank you for sharing your fears and your honesty…bless you.
OK, I kinda have a list just like you, so in order, first, I never really made a bucket list, but a month or so ago when I went to CT to Foxwoods I did actually say, this has been on my bucket list for years..just to go there and play bingo, so I have crossed that off and hopefully can go again next year; next, Have no hearing problems, but eyesight is another story, I will get to eye doctors ONE of these days; I am afraid of dying, the heart attack 3 yrs ago put it more in perspective, and I know my lifestyle with smoking is not good, buttttt, I continue, but I don’t want to be a burden on my son..I’ll work on it; Dying alone, YEP, worst fear of all, cause I am ALONE here..as Mike said, Mom, when I see you on FB I know you’re OK, so if I don’t call, I know all is good, hahaha. Falling in LOVE? Hmm, I would love too, but it ain’t gonna happen, and honestly being single these last 13 yrs I’m now wondering if I ever really FELL in love…more LUST or what I thought was love. I find myself REMEMBERING things about the ONE I thought was my one true love and now he has passed away and the things I’m remembering are NOT GOOD, so that kinda upsets me. So I doubt that falling in love will ever happen. I am way too picky and honestly, could care less seriously. I have fun with male friends when out and NO commitments necessary. Back to #9 I’m planning on being right here in this house HOPEFULLY, but Mike has already stated I will NEVER go in a home, they will make room for me there, so I really don’t like talking abut it. Now, for the last one on monsters under the bed…..HONEY, if a dust bunny is a monster, then trust me, they’ve been there all my LIFE and will continue to be. This Susie q is NOT Suzy homemaker and never will be, so other than bunnies and shoes, thats all that can fit under my bed. Although seriously, I have laid in bed and felt that there was something in my mattress moving around??? LOLOL LOVE YA KIDDO.
Great comments Susie Q! You have a wonderful son and family and I’m sure they will take great care of you! Love u too..
Well, here’s a partial list, Renee: I do have a fear of dying but due to not being able to breath. I fear for my children & grandchildren and their health & well being. Like you, I really don’t want to be a burden on anyone. I don’t want to be bedridden or paralyzed that I’d have to be totally dependent on a caregiver. I fear, too, whether I’ll have enough money to last me til I die! And #10 isn’t so far fetched cause I have actually thought about that – someone being under my bed & grabbing me. LOL Another thought-provoking blog! 🙂 Thank you
Oh, Dinah I’m glad I’m not the only one worried something is under my bed…and at least we will be here for each other as long as we can…Thank you for your comments!