Category Archives: Aging

Class Reunion

The Class Reunion… Part 2

and yes, “he” was there….

Class Reunion

The Class

I enjoyed this class reunion so much..I think more than any before. The reason for this is that I realize how precious life is now and that maybe some of us won’t be here for the 55th. I might not be here for the 55th. A prayer was said at the beginning and the names of all those in the class who had passed were read aloud. I knew most of them had passed but to hear that list made me so very sad.

The day started out on a somber note and ended on a happy one. I walked in The Out of the Darkness Walk to promote suicide awareness in honor of my son in the morning. I couldn’t help the walk and the reunion were on the same day and thought I would be able to do both with no problem. I did the walk last year as well and forgot how emotional it was for me. Not a good way to start out a fun filled day with my class of 1967.

I came home from the walk exhausted both physically and mentally. I even thought about not going to the reunion. My daughter was going to my home town as well to meet her cousin and said she would take me and pick me up so that made things a bit easier for me. I wouldn’t have to drive home at 11:30 at night by myself. So I decided I would go. I had been looking forward to the reunion for quite some time and thought I just needed to make myself do it.

Now the next step was deciding what to wear…I had an outfit picked out but that didn’t give me the desired look. You know the one I talked about last week…the one where I looked 20 years younger and 30 pounds lighter…or was it the other way around?? Well nothing in my closet came even close to doing that. So I just settled on wearing what made me feel comfortable.

“Sometimes you will never know the value of a moment until it becomes a memory.” ~ Dr Seuss

Ok, I know you are all waiting to hear about the person I was hoping to avoid seeing. If you read last weeks post you know I had some trepidation about a “certain person” that I had heard was coming to this reunion. A person I hadn’t seen or heard from in 25 years. There are many reasons I was hoping to avoid seeing him…but you will have to wait for the book to come out to find out exactly what those reasons are.

A bunch of us arrived together making me feel a little more relaxed. As I walked in the door my eyes quickly scanned the room for him but I didn’t see him. I realized he wouldn’t look like he did 25 years ago but I didn’t think he was there and felt more at ease. The group I was with quickly found a table and then we all started walking around talking to everyone. I loved catching up with people I hadn’t seen in forever. There were quite a bunch of them who hadn’t been to a reunion in a long time that came to this one on Saturday night.

Dinner was served and still no sign of “him.” I couldn’t take the suspense any longer and asked one of the committee members if “he” was coming? The committee member said he had indeed paid but was not there. Maybe he wasn’t going to show…it would be so like him. I was very relieved and I know my friends were relieved for me as well. Not five minutes later, the same committee member came over and said, “I spoke to soon. He just showed up!” He also went into why he was late…a friend(a girl of course) wasn’t going to come and he talked her into coming with him. But she hadn’t paid for a ticket, so he had a brief discussion at the sign in table to get them to allow her to come in with him. But she wouldn’t eat… And quickly added that they were “just friends”…

I searched the room, but still didn’t see him…until I did..he was of course sitting with his usual group of friends. And the girl. I continued to do what I had been doing…talking to people, people from different parts of my life. Elementary school, junior high and high school. We all marveled at how social media had kept some of the group in contact. And more than a few said they liked knowing what is going on with people in our class every day even though we are miles apart.

I was surprised at the number of people who were on social media and especially the ones that said they read my blog. It is hard to know who reads it when people don’t comment on it. I was pleasantly surprised. So many telling me how much they loved it and to keep on writing. A few asked who “he” was and a few, much to my surprise, said I know who “he’ is.

Things were going along quite well, I was having a great time and thought I dodged the bullet and he wasn’t going to talk to me. Maybe someone had even told him I didn’t want him to. All of the sudden, as I was standing by our table talking to two friends… I felt an arm go around my shoulders. I didn’t need to turn around to know whose arm it was. But I did. Here is how the scenario played I turned to find his face almost directly in mine…

Him: “Well Hello”

Me: “Hi”

Him: “How are you?”

Me: “Fine”

Him: “You still live in Frederick?”

Me: “No.”

Him: “Where are you living now?”

Me: “Close to PA.” (note, only time I said more than one word)

Him: “Well you look great.”

Me: “Thanks”

And with that I turned around and started talking to my friend again. I felt him take his arm off of my shoulders and walk away. That was it! The next day, I was second guessing myself. Should I have talked more to him? Should I have asked him why he did what he did and why he lied? Should I have given him the chance to explain? But then I thought to myself… I bought his story 25 years ago, would I have bought the one he would have told me Saturday night? Was he different now, had he changed? He really had a line, always has. I am a pretty good judge of character and he had me completely fooled 25 years ago. I wasn’t going to give him the chance to do that again.

I don’t know and now I guess I never will know if he has changed. I hope so. For him and his family. I do know now I made the right decision not to get into a lengthy conversation with him. I enjoyed my 50th reunion.. I didn’t let him ruin that. I couldn’t  let that happen. There were too many good people there and too many good things happening. I wanted those to be the memories I remember when I think about that night. But I also want to remember I stood up to him, I didn’t back down. I think he must know why I did what I did or he wouldn’t have given up so easily and walked away..but then again knowing him, maybe he doesn’t. And that’s ok too.

Do you go to your high school reunions? Why or why not?

“Yes, we talk to each other on Facebook… but that just isn’t good enough….you can’t hug someone on FB. And I like to hug.” ~ me



The Class Reunion

50 years have passed…how did that happen?


I remember walking down the long hallway to class…

This coming Saturday is my 50th class reunion. How did this even happen? I have heard other people talking about their 50th and think to myself.. wow those guys are old….LOL..Now who’s the old person? But in all honesty, I don’t feel any older than I did back when I walked down the hall in high school. They were fun days and I enjoyed all the friends I made.Those days and the people are forever etched in my heart and mind.

I look forward to these reunions every 5 years and I didn’t even graduate with my class due to my leaving in 11th grade. Back in the 60’s you couldn’t continue to go to school after they found out you were pregnant. But I stayed in touch with my classmates and went to every single reunion we ever had. I was even on the reunion committee for awhile. The class reunions give me a chance to see people who live out of the area and even people who still live in town and I never get a chance to see.

There are so many people from my class and people I talk to that say, “I would never go to my class reunion.” I don’t get that. School wasn’t always a happy place for me, I was made fun of for various reasons and it wasn’t exactly a good time in my life when I was asked to leave due to being pregnant. I quickly found out who my friends were during that time. I can understand not going if you were bullied or mistreated, but some of the people who don’t show up were the most popular ones in school.

I really enjoy catching up with old friends, the kids I ran around with during both elementary school and high school.. some of who I have been friends with since 1st grade. Seeing them now in person after all these years will make it even more special. It is easier to stay in touch with people these days due to social media. But while seeing and talking to them on FB is awesome… I want to see them in person and be able to give them a hug. Not a virtual one…a real one. I am excited that a few friends I haven’t seen in ages are going to be at this reunion. At least they have had their pictures posted on FB so I will recognize them.

Usually I stay close to a friend who helps me remember who people are. Even with their name tags on… I still don’t remember them. My friend will give me a reminder of some sort and then that hopefully brings back some kind of a recollection of who the person is. Sometimes it doesn’t. If not, I just smile and talk to them like I know who they are. I don’t think they ever know that I don’t recognize them. At least I hope not…It’s not’s me..

“A trip to nostalgia now and then is good for the spirit.” ~ Don Bartolovic

The reunions remind me of the many happy years I spent growing up in my home town. All the fun times in high school going to football games, basketball games and the ever popular school dances. Or even just walking around town and hanging out in the parking lot at the high school in the evenings. Our little town was close knit back then..people knew everyone. All the mothers knew every other mother’s kids, hence we all knew to behave around them or suffer the consequences when we got home. I remember quite a few times walking in the door and Mom waiting there to confront me about something I had done that day… and we didn’t even have cell phones or computers. All we had were “moms”…

So yes, to say I’m excited is putting it mildly. I can’t wait to see some of these people. Actually all of them..well almost all of them. There is that one person I’m not too sure about but we will see how that goes. Some of the longest friendships I have are the ones I made in school. These friends have been there for me through out my entire life.  Over 60 years. Running into some “new” old friends that I haven’t had a chance to be around in years will be amazing. Just thinking of them, and all the happy times we shared… brings a smile to my face.

I think we valued people and our friendships more back then. It seems like it to me  anyway. I know people are always talking about how many friends I have and that they don’t have many at all. Why is that? I don’t do anything special. I don’t feel like I even do enough sometimes… But I love my friends and I tell them I love them. They know they are important to me. They are “my tribe”… and I honestly don’t know where I would be without them.

I need to close now and go work on my outfit for Saturday. I might as well start trying things on since I know it will take me forever to get just the right look. You know, the one…the one that will make me look 30 years younger and 20 pounds lighter. I will be doing a follow up post after the reunion….so you all will know how it went and how seeing that “one person” went as well. Wish me luck…

Do you go to your class reunions and do you enjoy them? Do you still have friends from elementary school and high school that you stay in close touch with?

“That’s the fun of going to a high school reunion: It’s seeing people who you were close to all those years ago, and re-exploring the relationships of the past.” ~ Jon Hurwitz




Just Some Random Thoughts…

some funny, some sad and some just random…


my happy place…

We all need a happy place to go to… some days we need them more than others. I try very hard  each and every day to find some good in the world. Some days it is harder than others. Today is one of those days. I wanted to write a post that was uplifting and happy. I couldn’t think of anything. And then I decided to just write what was going through my mind today…on any given day I have a lot of stuff going through my mind. I know this is hard for some of you to digest… the fact there is anything at all going on in my mind but there is. Here are a few things I am pondering today…

  1. I looked at the date and realized it was Oct 3rd. I was married on Oct 3, 1965. That was 52 years ago. Wow. How does that even happen? Of course I know how long ago it is since my oldest child is 51 and a constant reminder of how old I am. I am no longer married to that guy or any guy but thinking about that day was a sweet memory.
  2. It’s Fall and the leaves are falling off the trees. I used to love this time of year and now I don’t. The falling leaves make me sad now and the darkness in the morning and early evening do as well. I don’t know when this started, but I’m not liking the change of season.
  3. My 50th class reunion is coming up in a little over a week. Again, how does this happen? What do I wear? Who will be there? Can I lose 10 lbs before then?
  4. Thinking about the up coming class reunion brings another thought to mind…at the 25th reunion I ran into an old boyfriend and kinda sorta rekindled a high school thing we had. It didn’t turn out well. The whole “rekindling thing” turned out to be much like high school all over again. Just found out he was going to be at the 50th. It could go one of two ways. He is either going to ignore me due to the way I left things or he wants to try the whole “rekindling thing” again…I am hoping to be ignored…Note: depending on what happens.. future blog post..
  5. My youngest grandchild and I decorated for Halloween last night. He was so excited to do it. I remember all the others were too. Now he is the only one who still is.
  6. After the decorating was completed the grand asked if we could look at Amazon for things he may want for his birthday and Christmas. He wanted to put them in my shopping cart so I wouldn’t forget what he wants. My cart is now full of Legos and games.
  7. Tom Petty died last night at 66. I am 67.
  8. Face timed with the Vermont grands last night and the youngest told me he was playing the triangle in the band and some other percussion instruments…before he could even get the words out I was going to ask if he saw the new Geico commercial with the guy playing the triangle..and he said have you seen the Geico commercial…and we both started laughing. If you haven’t seen it yet, google it. Hilarious…well at least I think it is…
  9. I haven’t been to the beach…my favorite place in the world in a few months. It’s time for me to go there again. I need to smell the salty air and just breathe…

There you have it! These were just some of the things going through my mind today. I know there are only 9 and most times I post ten things..Some things you just need to keep in your head and not say them out loud…or in a blog post. And I already know I’m weird you don’t have to tell me. I will try to find something good today even as the leaves fall outside my window. I challenge everyone reading this to look for the good. You might just be amazed at how many “good things” you will find. And if you can’t find the the good!

Do you have weird thoughts going through your mind too? Or is it just me…I hope not.

“Never let a day pass without looking for the good, feeling the good within you, praising, appreciating, blessing and being grateful. Make it your life commitment and you will stand in utter awe of what happens in your life.” ~ Rhonda Byrne



What’s That Smell??

what’s your favorite scent memory….


smell the flowers…. 

As you may or may not know, I am a perfume rep. Yes, I am one of those annoying people you walk by in department stores and try so hard to avoid. Although I, myself am not annoying(just wanted to add that)and do not try to spray anyone with my fragrance of the moment. I just stand there peacefully at the perfume counter holding my bottle and blotter cards and watch as people walk by and try very hard to either ignore me or hold their noses and run by me at top speed….I have been doing this job off and on now for over 14 years. Sometimes it is fun and sometimes its annoying and some times it brings back some great memories of days gone by. Take for instance this week…while I was working the other day one of the women who work in another department came by and I don’t remember how or why we started the conversation but it led to us discussing how many fragrances there are now and how few there were back when we were young.

We talked about the old perfumes of yesterday and what our mothers and grandmothers wore. Smells of the past like Emeraude by Coty(1921) and Tabu by Dana(1932). I can still smell each of them and it makes me feel a little sad. Of course this conversation brought up the question, “what was the first fragrance you ever wore?” Her first was Charlie and I think mine was Ambush(50’s) and then later thanks to my BFF Peggy…Royal Secret by Germaine Monteil. I felt so grown up wearing that fragrance even though it was a bit overwhelming for a teenager especially when all the rest of our friends were still wearing Ambush or the new hot one at the time, Charlie, that I mentioned my friend wore…

A few others from the 50’s and 60’s are My Sin and Arpege by Lanvin, Youth Dew, Joy by Jean Patou, Yardely and Jean Nate, which came out many years prior to the 50’s but was popular during that time period. I never liked Jean Nate by the way…Then in the 70’s Coty debuted Obsession and Eternity… both of which are still very popular to this day. I remember during the 80’s Giorgio came out and everyone was falling all over themselves for that one for quite a while. Never was a fan…

“Perfume is the key to our memories.” ~ Kate Lord Brown

Not to be ignored were the men’s fragrances…and they were plentiful…from the 50’s and 60’s came English Leather(one of my all time favs), Hai Karate, Canoe, British Sterling and Jade East. Old Spice from back in the 30’s was still very popular with the Dads…and Grandpas..I remember getting Grandpa a bottle every year for Christmas. Not sure he ever wore it, but he would smile a huge smile and thank me ever so much for the present, year after year.

While searching Wikipedia to see when some of these fragrances first appeared, I was amazed to see a lot of them came out in the 30’s and were still around in the 50’s and 60’s. Some of them are still going strong even today…and I do mean strong. Scents such as Evening in Paris, Chantilly, Opium and Shalimar are still around today, compare that to some of the new ones brought out every single year and by the beginning of the following year… are long gone.

I wore Royal Secret for quite a few years and then switched to L’Air du Temps and later Tresor. In the 90’s I was into L’ Eau D’Issey, Issey Miyake. I felt so avant garde wearing it. I didn’t switch my perfumes. I believed and still believe in having a “signature scent.” I now wear Chloe and have worn it for years. I love it and get lots of compliments on it. The new perfumes come and go but I think some of the old ones are still the best. Chloe, by designer Gaby Aghion first appeared in 1952, from what I see on various websites about perfume. I wore that one for a long time. The new Chloe is a bit different but I truly love the scent so much. It makes me feel “dressed up” when I spray it on every day.

Fragrance is an important part of our past. Smelling one of these old scents bring back so many memories. It is funny how much of an impact it can truly have. I can be walking somewhere and get a whiff of my Mom and Grandma and lately… my dear son. My own grand kids have even brought this subject up…yes, boys who pay no mind to anything remotely having to do with fashion or perfume. They say they know me by my smell. At least it makes me happy that I am known for something.

What was and is your favorite scent? What memories do certain fragrances bring to mind for you?

“Perfume is a way of stopping time. You smell a beautiful scent and you remember something.” ~ Isabel Toledo

York Fair

Memories Of Going To The Fair

remembering good times from days gone by….

York Fair

The Fair…

My oldest daughter and I took two of the grand kids to the fair yesterday. We had a wonderful time even though the weather was so hot and sticky for a day in late September and sweat continuously rolled down my back the entire time. But that isn’t the topic today. Being with my family and enjoying the fair I have been going to my whole life is … It is weird how you can go to something and see it differently depending on who you are with at the time. Seeing anything through the eyes of a child is always an experience, but seeing the fair of my youth through the eyes of my grandchildren is truly an eye opening one indeed.

The fair has changed, so has everything in my life. We age and things change. It’s a fact of life. Do we really expect everything to stay the same for 50 or 60 years? That isn’t even feasible nor do I think we would want it to. I think having the kids with me reminded me of when I was like them and everything was new and exciting. You don’t have anything to compare it to at that young age, so you just enjoy it. The kids don’t say “why isn’t the burger stand we loved still here” or “I loved that other pizza, what happened to that”… They had both burgers and pizza and didn’t compare them to the ones from long ago, they just enjoyed the ones they were eating today.

I went to the fair with my parents and sister back in the day. We enjoyed going and looked forward to it every year. I would eat myself silly(yes, the burgers and the pizza) and always.. always left with a chameleon pinned to my shirt. It would barely live until we got home, but I so loved those poor little things. Then of course I was a teen ager and couldn’t go with my parents any longer so I went with my friends. We dressed up for the fair, we all wore our wool bermuda shorts, fur blend sweaters, knee high socks and penny loafers. It didn’t matter if the temperature was 89 degrees, that is what we wore. Oh yes, we were very cool back then…and oh so fashionable and trendy…  But, we also cared about how we looked and didn’t have half our body hanging out for the world to see or leggings so tight they look like skin.

“The heart, like the mind, has a memory. And in it are kept the most precious keepsakes. ~ Henry Wadsworth Longfellow

I remember taking my own children to the fair. They loved it and we at one point lived less than a block away so we went almost every day. I told the grands a few stories of their aunts and their Daddy’s days at the fair… which of course they loved hearing. My youngest loved the chameleons too and had one for quite awhile… unbelievably, until it’s inevitable demise. She was crushed of course and buried it in the back yard with it’s head sticking out so she could still see it. Their Daddy would play the game where you would throw pennies and later dimes into glasses and then win all the glasses that you somehow managed to get money into. Needless to say, my supply of glasses were endless. I can still see him walking proudly in the door, arms loaded with a bazillion glasses, and a big smile on his face. I still have many of those glasses to this day.

I think running into friends and family members at the fair was the best part of all. The food, the rides, the side shows…oh the side shows were awesome…but running into family and friends was truly the best back then. That is still the best part for me and yesterday was no different. We met up with family and a few friends and it brought back even more memories for me. We met up with my niece, of course she is all grown up with a fiancé now, but as I looked at her I saw her as a little girl asking me to help her play a game of shooting water into a clowns mouth. We would go to the fair in later years with my Mom, my sister and my 2 nieces and my own 3 kids. There is definitely a big hole in my heart going to the fair now without my Mom and sister who have passed. They both loved the fair, more than any 2 people I know and they went every day it was in town. So to go there without them is hard. And I fully expect to see them pop out any minute as we walk along the midway. But of course that doesn’t happen.

The older we get the more memories we have stored in our hearts. Sometimes those memories are fun to remember and sometimes they roll down our cheeks. Either way, we have them and cherish each and every one… One day I will recall taking these two young children to the fair and telling them the stories I told them yesterday. One day when they are much older….And on that day maybe they will remember me as they take children of their own to the fair.

Do you love going to the fair or anywhere with your kids or grandkids and sharing stories of the past with them?

“Life is a beautiful collage of precious moments and memories, which when pieced all together creates a unique treasured masterpiece.” ~ Melanie M. Koulouris





game over

Things We Shouldn’t Do After 60!!

really?…don’t tell me what to do!

game over

is it over for us after 60 or should we just do what we want?

I have been reading so many articles on Facebook and in magazines lately stating we shouldn’t do this or that after 50. Well I am over 60, so should I just crawl in a hole and give up? I think we earned the right to do whatever we want at this age…within reason that is..and if we are not breaking any laws. But here are some of the stupid things I have read that we shouldn’t be doing.

Women over 30 shouldn’t have long hair – I remember back in the 60’s Mom telling some of her women friends they should cut their hair. Mom did some of the neighbor ladies hair and she would tell them straight out they shouldn’t have long hair at their age. I think they were probably in their 40’s. What???? Why can’t an older women have long hair if she so desires? Where is it written she can’t? What does having long hair have to do with age anyway? I had long hair way into my late 40’s and several times after that and no one ever mentioned I shouldn’t. Not that I would have listened to them anyway.

Women over 20…, yes you read this right, 20…should not wear leggings –  Ok, I can see why “they” are saying this. Seeing some of the people who do is certainly reason enough to make a case for this, but… I say anyone can wear them…just for the love of all that is holy….wear a long top….very long. And never…never wear nude colored leggings(this is my own rule).

Women over a certain age should not wear pants –  They really didn’t mention the age. Just “over a certain age”… For heavens sake, why? I would rather see a woman in pants than see her scrawny, wrinkly, dried up legs. This may or may not be coming from my own personal experience….and me seeing my own legs in the mirror.. Just again, wear pants that fit and are appropriate to your size.

“People say women shouldn’t have long hair over a certain age, but I’ve never done what everyone says.” ~ Jane Seymour

We should not drink more than 7 glasses of wine a week – That is one per day, (whew..)…but really? I don’t always have that many, some weeks go by without even one glass, but sometimes you just need to “wine”… and aren’t “they” always telling us to have more fruit…like we are supposed to eat several servings a day. Does a glass of wine count as a serving of fruit? I say yes, yes it does.

If we are over 60 we should not eat sweets – Ok, now “they” have just gone too far! Who are “they” anyway? I bet “they” are sitting in their office somewhere with their bag of M&M’s typing away while writing this stuff…and laughing their heads off. I know people that never ate anything bad and… they still died… everything in moderation people..everything in moderation!

We should not do body shots – Don’t ask..

Women over 30 shouldn’t wear blue jeans – I have already discussed this in depth here… Forever In Blue Jeans

“Young. Old. Just words.” ~ George Burns

People over the age of 60 should not, I repeat should NOT use exercise equipment – Ok, this one I love…we are more apt to get hurt and do harm to ourselves by using the equipment at the gym. We are better off walking or just doing exercises. So thank you to the “they” that wrote this one…Now we have a good excuse to “Not” go to the gym. I am not making this up, I saw it…somewhere…

Men over 40 should not wear baseball caps – Ok, this one is just plain ridiculous. I would rather see an older guy in a baseball cap and have it on his head the correct way then see a 12 year old with it on sideways…

There you have it. This is not meant to be taken seriously by any means. Who knows who “they” are, sitting around thinking up these things in the first place. My take on all of this is … Life is short. We should all do what makes us feel good! Like I said before we have earned the right at our age to feel good and enjoy life! But also be careful out there and make sure you aren’t taking too many chances. We look in the mirror and think, who is that old person looking back at us. We don’t feel like we are this age, but we are. There are two things I know for sure that we definitely shouldn’t do at our age… we should not hold onto grudges or live in the past. This will hurt us more than any wine we drink or sweets we eat. So Enjoy yourselves and above all, have fun and dance to the music!

Do you have any good ideas to add to the ones I’ve written? What do you think about this? As always I enjoy reading your comments.

“Just be yourself. Let people see the real imperfect, flawed, quirky, weird, beautiful and magical person that you are.” ~ Unknown






lookin good...

“I’ve Still Got It!”

I just don’t know what “it” is…

lookin good...

I still got it…but where is it?

My friends and I recently were talking about how “we” are the old ones now…we used to be the cute ones, the pretty ones, the ones guys looked and even whistled at. But no more. We said, we are the old ones now…we are invisible. And I thought to myself…I used to be that one, the cute one, the young one…I used to have “it”…but where did “it” go? Are we invisible?

Having said that, I was at dinner with a group of people about a month ago and felt somewhat strange. I looked around the restaurant and there were quite a few men staring at me. I used to get that and my share of cat calls but it had been so long since that had happened I thought maybe my bra was sticking out of my top or I had toilet paper coming out of my pants. I couldn’t for the life of me figure out why they were staring. Then I realized they were smiling and some were even winking. I didn’t get it at first and all of sudden it came to me…the men doing the staring were old too.

I have always dated men younger than me. I didn’t set out for that to happen, it just did. I liked doing the same things as younger guys and enjoyed the same music and activities. So I was just drawn to them. And I guess they were drawn to me too since it happened a lot that the men I dated were quite a bit younger. So seeing these “old guys” all staring at me and smiling kind of freaked me out a little. Why are they looking at me? And then I thought, “oh yeah, I’m old too” and I was just glad to have a guy stare at me no matter how old he was. I realized I liked it. So I smiled back.

Sometimes driving along on the road I will notice a guy zooming up alongside my car and then I look over and he quickly turns his head and speeds by. This happens all the time. I think because of my curly blonde hair they think I’m some young beautiful thing and then they see my face and know the ugly truth..I’m old. And do they really even see me? Since I am invisible…

“And the beauty of a woman, with passing years only grows!”~ Audrey Hepburn

I read an article recently(I don’t know where)and it concluded by saying “yes, these days older women are invisible”. Its all about the young pretty girls. It is a sad state but I have to agree. I can be walking into a store and a man is holding the door open for a cute young thing and then I get there and he lets it go right as I walk up to it. I am not upset by this. I get it! I am invisible. He didn’t even see me.

Here is another example: A few months ago I was at a bar with a few friends and all eyes in the bar were on the younger woman in our group. Every where she went the eyes followed and the men came over to chat with her and buy her drinks. No one bought the rest of us a drink. No one even knew we were there. My one friend leaned over and whispered to me…”we are invisible.” And we were.

I didn’t realize how much I had enjoyed getting “the looks” until I didn’t get them any more. I took them for granted. I enjoyed the cute guys looking and all the attention I got back then. Now I will settle for the “old men” trying to get my attention in a restaurant. By the way, I’m thinking I need to go back to that restaurant soon….the food was good but “the looks” were great. And I wasn’t invisible any more.

Did you ever feel invisible? Do you feel like we are treated differently because we are old?

“Beautiful young people are accidents of nature, beautiful old people are works of art.” ~ Eleanor Roosevelt


where is the music

Where Has The Music Gone?

I think the music died….or is it me?

where is the music

seriously, where has it gone..

Ok, I feel like some old woman writing this but I have to get this off my chest once and for all. I really hope I am not the only one who feels this way. What the heck is going on with music these days? Is the stuff we are hearing even considered music? A lot of it is produced in a studio and everything else is added later…like the lyrics…and the music… I don’t even know where to begin, I turn on the radio and can’t find one single station I like so I wind up listening to the news station and hate that even more.

I don’t like any of the new stuff coming out. I did think I liked some of the new groups that I heard and even went to see a few of them and then they came out with some new stuff and I hated it. Half of the new music I can’t even listen to. It’s just annoying. Really it is…I don’t even know how to even classify what they are. Because, Rock isn’t rock. Pop isn’t pop and even Country isn’t country anymore…what is it? Because it sure isn’t County music. For example…Nelly made a country song and is on tour with Florida Georgia Line…What?

We have gone to a bunch of concerts lately and they are all from years gone by. But each time I go to one I seem to find “my Music”…We recently saw Foreigner, Cheap Trick and Queen…all from the 70’s. The concerts were awesome and so were the musicians. They were enjoying what they were doing and still getting it done after all these years. Queen was the very first concert I ever went to back in the early 70’s and they sounded just as awesome now as they did then. Back then Freddie Mercury performed and he was flamboyant and his vocals second to none. The group has had Adam Lambert filling in for Freddy and he is doing a great job. He is equally flamboyant with his constant costume changes and vocals that match or at least come very close to Freddies. I was dancing in my seat!

“Music and rhythm find their way into the secret places of the soul.” ~ Plato

When the music awards shows are on tv I barely know any of the groups up for the awards. When I watch morning shows like Good Morning America I don’t know who most of the bands are that they have play on their concerts in the park days. The ones they do have playing have to be bleeped the whole way through the song so why even bother to have them on. And don’t even get me started on the whole lip sync thing. So many pf the performers these days do it. I remember back in the day when we found out Milli Vanilli lip synced and lost their Grammy award. Oh the horror…

After going to these concerts and loving the music….all of the sudden I had a thought, wait a minute I love this stuff. I still like music. In fact I LOVE music. I decided I like my old music, music from the 60’s, 70’s, 80’s and 90’s. Oh Dear Lord…I feel like I’m turning into my parents…is this how they felt when they heard our music? But how could they? Our music was music. The Beatles, The Temptations, The Four Tops. You can’t say these bands were not great music.

Having come to this recent “light bulb going off” moment… I decided I will just have to listen to my old CD’s and an oldies station. I have tapes with so many great bands on them, but alas we don’t listen to tapes anymore. And no matter how hard I try, I can’t even find an oldies station on the radio. They used to have them, lots of them…I guess it’s all about pay radio now. I think I’ll just have to get some more CD’s of all my favorite old bands because I really do love music and want to listen to it. I just need to find it.

What do you think? Do you like today’s music or long for the music of yesterday?

“And those who were seen dancing were thought to be insane by those who could not hear the music.”~ F. Nietzsche


seeing clearly

“I Can See Clearly Now”

a few fun facts about my recent cataract surgery…(shout out to Johnny Nash)

seeing clearly

I can see again…and without binoculars!

I just completed my second cataract surgery this week. Believe me the actual surgery is much easier than the all the prep work and drops before and after the surgery. Having one eye done and then waiting three weeks until the second one can be done is hard. The good eye fights the bad one and sometimes it is just very tiring. The best part of it all is…I CAN SEE AGAIN! Many thoughts went through my head during the surgery and the whole recovery process. Here are a few reflections on my surgery.

1. Cataract surgery isn’t all that bad. The actual surgery is over in about 10 minutes… Its all the prep work, drops and things you can and can’t do before and after that are a pain. Most people who have told me how easy it was only had one eye done. Not both. That is the hard part, the waiting for the second eye to get done so your eyes stop fighting each other. And the drops…oh yes, the drops. I would stand in front of the mirror and think, did I put the drop in or did I just check the little box on my eye drop chart and not put it in?? Every. Single.Time.

2. You don’t know how bad your eyes really are until they are better. Everything is so clear, bright and WHITE… even inside the house. I wear my sunglasses inside the house now.

3. I hate all the rules and precautions. My favorite… Don’t bend. If you have to bend, bend at the knees, not at the waist! I never think about bending…ever…until I’m told I can’t. Do you even know how many times a day you bend??? A lot! I drop so many things now of course and I have to remember, bend at the knees…bend at the knees. Or I just leave it lay there on the floor and hope someone else will pick it up.

4. Not doing any strenuous exercise for two weeks or lift anything over 20 pounds. I actually liked this one!  I have an honest to goodness, awesome, doctor approved excuse to not exercise…for 2 weeks.

5. I think I may be secretly “in love” with my eye surgeon.

“Vision is the art of seeing what is invisible to others.” ~ Jonathan Swift

6. Not letting sweat get in the surgery eye. Um, when the feel like temp is 105 and you are on a beach and not allowed to get in the water, you may sweat a bit. Not sure how you can keep this from happening, maybe someone should invent a little air conditoned cup that covers the eye if you have cataract surgery during the summer months. Note: have your cataract surgery during the winter.

7. Getting used to not wearing makeup. I actually went grocery shopping yesterday and not one single person ran screaming from the sight of me.

8. OMG, I don’t like looking in the mirror when putting drops in. I see all the lines and wrinkles so much more clearly…who is that old woman looking back at me and what is she doing in my bathroom?

9. So I’m laying on this table in the operating room, loud music playing(I like it) and the doc is digging in my eye and I can see him doing it. Weird. He takes out the bad lens and puts in a new one(in my case 2 of them). As I lay there both times, all kind of thoughts go through my mind…What happens to the old lenses he takes out? Do they just throw them away? Do they donate them somewhere? Do they make something out of them? Where do they get the new ones? What are they made out of? Can you buy them on Amazon?

10. Another thing I really hate is the whole, “don’t eat anything after midnight the night before surgery.” I never do, except the occasional dish of ice cream. But when you are told you can’t have anything.. of course you want something. And then knowing when you wake up you can’t have your coffee…It just makes life feel so meaningless. You can have coffee, just not with cream. And who drinks coffee without cream? Not me…

So there you have it, my eye surgery in a nut shell. You may have had a different experience or you will if you haven’t had the pleasure of this surgery yet. Love to hear your comments on this…

“There are only two ways to live your life. One is as though nothing is a miracle. The other is as though everything is a miracle.” ~ Albert Einstein


I Couldn’t Wait To Shave My Legs….

and now I hate it…


these are not my legs, but they are nicely shaved…

I couldn’t wait to shave my legs when I was a kid. I thought this meant I was a grownup and I so wanted to do it. But then the first time I did it, I almost died from the blood loss..still have the scar. I really never loved doing it after that first time, and now I don’t want to do it at all. While I was shaving my legs in the shower the other day it started me thinking about other things I couldn’t wait to do and now really don’t like doing or don’t even do anymore. Isn’t it weird the things you most wanted in life aren’t really important now or you just do them because you have to.

Here are some things I really couldn’t wait to do when I was a kid….

I couldn’t wait to drive… OMG, I was so anxious to get my permit and drive and now I honestly would like to have a driver. There is so much more traffic on the roads these days and some very angry drivers on them. It makes me not want to drive at all. Actually I do have one, a lot of the time my dear, sweet daughter does the driving. It’s not because she is sweet, it’s because she doesn’t like my driving.

I couldn’t wait to wear a bra… All the popular girls were wearing one and I wasn’t yet. So every night when I went to bed I said a little prayer that I would soon get to wear one as well. And we all know how this one goes. Do they really have to make them so uncomfortable? Why in this day and age hasn’t someone come up with a bra that is so awesome that you don’t even know you are wearing one??? I think bras are manufactured by men who enjoy sitting back and smiling at the pain they cause us on a daily basis.

I couldn’t wait to grow up… I literally said this to my parents almost every day… “I can’t wait until I grow up and can make my own decisions.” I would give anything to have them making decisions for me right about now. Or really anyone.. I am so tired of making decisions…does it ever stop?

I couldn’t wait to get married… Yeah, cause that worked out so well…either one of the two times. Not ever happening again!

“A grownup is a child with layers on.” ~ Woody Harrelson

I couldn’t wait to get a job… I just wanted a job so I could make my own money and  buy whatever I wanted. Again making my own decisions about what I did with the money I made. I really didn’t want the whole “work” thing that went along with it. Now at this point in my life, I would like to find a job doing something I love doing… just for the enjoyment of it. But it would also be great if someone would pay my bills for me, so I didn’t need to use the money I earned for that. This whole “adulting thing” isn’t working so well…

I couldn’t wait to wear nylons and high heels… Again, everyone was wearing them and I couldn’t wait to wear them too! We had those god awful contraptions we had to wear with them to keep them up. Then came panty hose, which weren’t a whole lot better. I really did love high heels and wore the 4 inch high ones every day. Oh the damage we did to our poor little feet. I was so glad when I finally had a job where I didn’t have to wear either of them ever again. Note: The heels really did make us look taller and so the fat didn’t show as much…LOL!

I could’t wait to get my period… Ok, I know this one sounds weird, but again…all my girl friends had their period and so I wanted to have mine too. It is hard to be different and I wanted to know first hand what the fuss was all about. That lasted all of about a minute of actually getting my period. Then it was all about how long do I have to go through this every month…

I couldn’t wait to have my own place… I was so excited when my husband and I got our first apartment and actually be able to do whatever we wanted in it, whenever we wanted.  And then when I got my first house, all on my own. Nothing like it! Home ownership is a wonderful thing. Although, there is a lot you don’t think of when you are thinking how much you want one. Like, paying ALL the bills, things breaking down, things falling apart, appliances not working, roofs that need fixing, water in the basement…and on and on. It would be great to just have a place and have everything taken care of…like when you buy the house it comes with a 100 year warranty and someone who fixes everything that goes wrong. That would actually be awesome and a great idea!!!

I think that’s all the things I couldn’t wait to have. I know I really wanted to have a family of my own. I have that and am so blessed. I would love to have the family I had when I was a kid and wishing I could make my own decisions once again. You really don’t realize what you have till it’s gone. And please someone tell me where is that “never, never land” where Peter Pan lived. The place where you never grow up…

What couldn’t you wait to do when you were a kid? Do you still love it now?

“That’s the trouble with the world, too many people grow up.” ~ Walt Disney