how do we know we’re getting old, let me help…

Do you think we’re old?

As usual this topic came up in conversation with some friends the other night at dinner. Well we really didn’t talk about getting older, we like to avoid that subject, but so many of our topics of conversation that night made me think about this. I thought about it the whole day and decided to put together this list of 15 signs you are getting old..er. So if you’re in doubt this may help.

1. You used to love going to crowded places like bars and concerts, but now if someone is even in the same aisle at the grocery store as you, it bugs you. Why is it so peoply everywhere these days?

2. You have to sit down to put on your socks or take off your pants. If you don’t you may fall over. Remember the days when we had perfect balance and could take these things off while standing up? Yeah, me neither cause I can’t remember a damn thing.

3. You print out the map quest directions when going somewhere you’ve never been before because you can’t see the tiny map or directions on your phone. And quite honestly I don’t trust those GPS things anyway. Remember those people who drove into the water cause the GPS told them to go straight…and they did… Straight into the water. Yeah, that ain’t happening to this girl.

4. When any of the music awards shows are on TV you don’t know who half the artists/bands are that are up for any of the awards. Really, who are these people and why haven’t I heard of them? I watch The Voice, I listen to the radio… I’m guessing listening to the oldies station doesn’t help.

5. When you get together these days with your high school friends… instead of talking about the cute guys you are dating you talk about your aching joints, back spasms, recent doctor visits and your upcoming cataract surgery. I want to talk about the cute guys I’m dating again…

6. You avoid people in the store when you see them because you can’t remember their name…and you know they remember your name because they did the last time you ran into them and till this day you still can’t remember theirs. It’s easier for everyone if you just avoid them altogether. 

7. Everyone is speeding by you on the highway. Remember when it was us speeding down the road yelling at all the old people to go faster or get off the road. Yeah. Karma…

8. When you can’t lose 5 pounds in one day anymore by just cutting out one  thing like soda or ice tea. Now I couldn’t lose 5 pounds in a year if i stopped eating entirely.

9. You tear up at almost anything these days. TV commercials, Hallmark movies, puppies, babies…Folgers commercials…yeah, I get all teary at coffee commercials..

10. Your sentences these days go something like this…”where is the thing that goes in the whatchamacallit?” And sadder still is the fact the “old” person you ask this question knows exactly what you are talking about.

11. You wish you could trade some of your body parts in on new ones. Your ears have gotten bigger, your hair has gotten thinner(some places have lost all of it) and your feet don’t look cute anymore, they look like something the Hulk walks on. And speaking of feet, no more high heels. You know I think maybe they are to blame for the “Hulk” feet.  Sneakers and really slippers are my best friends. 

12. You make those horrible old people sounds when you get up off the sofa. I remember looking in horror at my Grandfather when he did this. Now I do it. Where do these noises even come from? Do they help us to get up?

13. When you and a group of your friends are at dinner and every single one of you have special requests of the waiter when ordering your food. Can they hold the sauce.. is it gluten free… dressing on the side, please… what kind of oil is that fried in? You get the picture. Remember when we went to the old burger place and just ordered a burger and fries. No questions asked…those were the days…

14. You are filling something out online and it takes forever for you to scroll down to the year you were born. You could leave the room and get a coffee and come back and it would still be scrolling. Sometimes it doesn’t even go that far back, you have to fill the year in yourself….very disappointing.

15. And last but certainly not least…you have a note on your front door that says, “Did you remember your cell phone?” It was written by your grand daughter because you have forgotten yours so many times. And even worse is when you look at the note on your way out and still forget it.

That’s my list. I am sure there are many more you can think of. I would love you to leave some of them in the comments below. What’s a sign of growing old? And remember old is always 20 years older than we are….

“The older you get the better you get unless you’re a banana.” ~ Betty White