I do know there isn’t one…but I won’t be taking any of these…
Waiting…
After losing yet another job I signed up for unemployment until I found the “perfect job.” This is much like finding the perfect man…neither one of them exists. I have to enter 3 job contacts on a website they have every week. I have had some weird jobs come up in my searches and they make me laugh. I think to myself..really who is going to do that?? But at least they make me laugh. Some of them make me shake my head and say..what?
Here are some of the ones that I thought were funny or just that I couldn’t see myself working there and the reasons why…
Delivery driver for Pizza Hut – Really.. how do they drive around all day with pizza in their car and not eat it…
Bookseller at Barnes and Noble – Ok, I even thought…wow, this could be fun. And then remind myself…books. I love to read, I read every night before falling asleep. So could I really work at a place with all those books?? I would be sitting in the corner in the children’s area reading…or I would run up to a customer and grab a book they are looking at and say…DO NOT get this book, it’s terrible….. thinking I could quite possibly get fired the first day on the job.
Bunny at the local mall – So you are dressed up in a bunny costume with screaming kids sitting on your lap and pulling on your ears…for what…two, three weeks, 8 hours a day…um, no thanks!
Manager at Walmart – Um, no!…nuff said…
Housekeeper – Daily cleaning, making meals and maybe watching 2 year old several days a week… just no. I don’t like doing this at my own house. I know you get paid and all, but they couldn’t pay me enough to do this.
Ice Cream Scooper at local dairy – ok, I think this could be my dream job. But not sure if they would like the “one scoop for you two for me” part… I would have to get it in writing before I would start. And I really don’t care how much the job pays.
Potato Chip Tester – Ok so actually the job description is a display setter/reset specialist…at least that’s what they are calling it…I call it…all the chips I can eat and get paid to do it!
Barista at Starbucks – I actually thought of applying for this, I mean I love coffee. Supposedly they are a good company to work for. And they have coffee…lots and lots of coffee…on second thought I don’t think I could do this. I might not be able to drive home. It’s bad enough I have a Keurig and can make a cup at home whenever I want, but I have to put the little cup in and press the button and make sure enough water is in the container….and all that…at Starbucks there is always coffee brewing…Its Starbucks…Back away from the coffee…
Garden Center Helper – This could be a fun job, I love looking at plants. But I think you have to actually take care of them…if they want dead plants then by all means call me. I can look at a plant and its dead the next day. Even air ferns…
Manager at the Disney Store – Job description..”Creating Magical Moments for guests of all ages.” Its been quite a long while since I’ve created a magical moment for anyone! And I think it might be entirely too peopley there for me. Or at least too many kids.
Entertainer at Land of Little Horses – So who do I have to entertain, the horses or the people who come to see them…job description wasn’t very clear.
Specimen Collector – Yes, that kind of specimen. Really they hire a person just for this job. I thought who ever wasn’t busy comes and collects it. Guessing most people are too busy… Who wants THAT job?
Crime Scene Cleaner – Just No!
These are some of the weird wacky jobs I’ve seen listed this week. Stay tuned, if I don’t find a job there may be more…
“The only way to do great work is to love what you do.” ~ Steve Jobs
Lol! I just said to the group this past weekend as we sat along the beautiful shore in CT…is there a job where I could look out at the water all day?? Lifeguard but no thanks I don’t want to have to get up and actually save someone’s life. Then someone said lighthouse keeper…but I want to actually be by the water not alone in a little lighthouse. As I walked the beach looking for sea glass, I said to myself “this is it, I want to do this and make things from it.” Why not? I know you’d live that too. So when are we moving to the beach?
I am ready and I had a dream where you and I are making jewelry together and we called it DWS Designs…Lets go!
Why isn’t there an ice cream tester or chocolate tester? You know people say who have these kind of jobs they spit it out but pleaseeee. Good luck.
Oh a wine tester…I think they do have those….I will have to check out some of the local wineries….thanks Haralee!
I thought you were making them up! No……just No! They make retirement look good don’t they? I think I’ll stick to my little part-time one for now where I only get “peopled” for part of the day and have blissful admin time for the rest – good luck with the hunt!
Thanks Leanne, and no I am not making these up…you can’t make this stuff up…LOL..
No “chocolate tester”? Oh, that would be so ideal. But job hunting is serious business, and really wears one down. I hope you can keep that sense of humor going – I wish I had a job for you!
A chocolate tester would be ideal…And yes it does wear you down, I didn’t think I would have to do this again….Thanks Alana!
I think I’ll stay out of the job ads for awhile. I like potato chip tester. I do that for free now!
Rena, me too…I like that job a little too much..there are some doozies out there right now…
You did cover some lulu’s. I know your dilemma…..having had that part time job which paid very well, now trying to find another that you will be equally compensated. It may be tough, but you are a go-getter. Thanks for my morning chuckle.
Yep, you got it Peg! And happy once again I could make you laugh!
To find the perfect job may be one that you plan or by chance fall into. My dad always stated that retirement was the best job he ever had. Can’t argue with that. Working in a bookstore would give a bibliophile one would think a perfect job. Surrounded by the sights and smells of books waiting to be sold and transported to a new home. Librarians also might have a great job except when impatient patrons, budget cuts, and other unforeseen events tend to mar the picture. If you have an engaging personality and like to talk and listen to people, retail may be your choice. However, your recent blogs have spelled out all of the problems associated with that career. Perhaps, the best job is being yourself. It is a job that takes a lifetime to cultivate and you want to make as few mistakes as possible. What mistakes you do make hopefully you learn from them and try not repeating them. We are most comfortable in our own skin and if we are true to ourselves, others will recognize that and reward us with their friendship. I would not call this a job but rather a life long career.
Thanks and so true Andy, however just being me won’t pay the bills!
I’m looking too. I could do the Barnes & Noble gig, I mean, books and coffee! Best of luck.
Thanks Linda! Good luck to you too….I may try the B&N…:)
These were funny! Any pizza delivery drivers Ive seen go crazy fast and I just know you wouldn’t work out for that reason alone! I’ve seen the entertainment at Land of Little Horses and guessing you’d pass on that as well! Bookseller was the most appealing to me but only if I could sit and make recommendations or read to little kids so I’ll just say, keep looking!
Thanks Joanie! The bookseller job might be fun, only if they served ice cream there….
lmao these made me giggle!!! no way!!!!
I know, right?