Category Archives: Life

10Nov/16
meditation can help

How To Be Positive In A Negative World

Life, , ,

and yes, it is possible…

meditation can help

With all the negativity in the world is it possible for us to have even a small amount of positivity in our own little world? We are surrounded by bad news these days like never before. TV and online news is abundant. And then throw in social media, which tends to make people even angrier about things they see and hear than it did before. People believe everything they see and read and then get themselves all worked into a frenzy about it… and most of the time it isn’t even true. Families and friendships are torn apart and if this can happen to family and friends think about how it affects the world.

I believe we can change this. Yes, I am an eternal optimist and believe the glass is half full. But we need to start with ourselves and our own family. We can not let the media and the hate out there continue to bring us down. How do we start to change things? How can we make our own little part of the world positive? We need to start with small things. We need to start with ourselves. Maybe we can not change the world, but we can change the way we feel. That is really all we have power over..our own feelings. And maybe by changing our feelings we can begin to see a difference in our world.

I have thought about this a lot lately due to the fact I myself have started feeling a little upset about my own way of dealing with things and all the negativity, so I made a list of things I could do to change the way I feel.

“Positive thinkers have a solution for every problem. Negative thinkers have a problem for every solution.” ~ Steven Aitchison

Go to the beach, the mountains or wherever it is you feel most happy. If you can’t go there look at pictures or videos of these places. And take a video next time you visit so you have this to look at when you feel like you need it. It can really make a difference. I love to look at the waves crashing on the shore and it truly soothes my soul.

Make a list of all the things you have in your life that you are grateful for. I say my list out loud every night before I go to sleep. And I try to come up with something every morning when I wake up. Usually, it is that I woke up! Being grateful for everything in your life brings us more things to be grateful for.

Be kind to others and give of yourself. There is nothing to make you feel better about yourself than to help another person. It gets you out of yourself and helps you to see that there is always someone worse off than you. It doesn’t take much to smile and be kind. Try it.

Turn off the news and stay off social media. The news isn’t what it was back in the day. We had real news, unbiased and they just reported the facts. What happened to that? And really, I love social media as well as the next person, so I know I am not giving it up, but I am trying to limit the amount of time I spend on it and limit the people who I call my “friends”.  I can’t ignore the fact that it has given me some great new friends and also returned some lost ones. But we need to take everything we see with a grain of salt. News Flash…not everything that we see on tv or the internet is true. Check it out people, google it, talk to others before getting yourself upset by something you think is real when it is just someone putting trash out there into cyber space to whip everyone up. And they are doing a good job of it. Don’t respond to the negativity either, if you see something that makes you feel bad, just scroll on. I try to put “good” out there every day on my Facebook page and I know people are grateful I do.

“Don’t let the behavior of others destroy your inner peace.” ~ Dalai Lama

 

Listen to music and dance. Music can touch your soul and clear your head. It can take you away or bring you back. It is the medicine that can keep you going when times get tough. Whether you are at home or in your car, listen to some music. Go to a concert. Enjoy the music you grew up with. Turn on the music and dance!

Exercise or meditate, or both. Get outdoors and walk in the sunlight. Nature and the brisk cool air can heal many a negative mind. Do whatever makes you feel good, if it doesn’t, you won’t keep doing it. So if it’s yoga or joining the gym, whatever you like and will keep doing…do that!

Let go of things that are not bringing you joy and happiness. This includes people as well as things. I know you can’t always stay away from that boss at work that brings you down, but you can change the way they make you feel when you are around them. And you can’t get rid of a family member if you want to keep them in your life. Its hard when this situation happens to us and harder when it is someone we love. We can’t change them, but we can change the way we respond to them.

Surround yourself with positive people. Like I said before, sometimes we can not get rid of certain people but we don’t need to constantly be with them. If you care about someone who is toxic, limit the amount of time you spend with them. This is not being selfish, this is what we need to do for our own health. I know first hand how hard this is sometimes but if you want to be happy you need to do it. I am truly blessed to have so many positive people in my life and believe me, it makes all the difference. I have gone to hell and back many times in my life and would not be here and whole if it wasn’t for all of them.

“A good friend is a connection to life – a tie to the past, a road to the future, the key to sanity in a totally insane world.” ~ Lois Wyse

Talk to yourself.  Yes, I know this sounds weird… but it isn’t. If you are feeling upset or negative about something, talk to yourself the same way you would talk to a friend. Think about what you would say to that friend and say it to yourself instead. Note: You may want to close your door or make sure no one is close by.

Take your kids/grand kids on a fun day trip. If you don’t have any, take someone else’s. I’m sure they could use a break and you get to see the day through the eyes of a child. There is nothing better than playing like a kid again to make all of our negativity and worries seem far far away.

Go on a road trip with friends. If you follow my blog and I hope you do. (And if you don’t, sign up now to get it each and every time in your email.) Anyway, if you follow my blog you know I just went on a road trip last week. There is nothing like going somewhere you have never been before with good friends. It doesn’t have to cost a lot. If money is a concern,  you can just go to a new restaurant or a concert at a place you’ve never been to before. Just do something different and spend time with your friends. You will leave with an even better friendship and memories that will last forever.

This is my list of things to help you be more positive. Do you have anything to add to this list? What makes you feel joyful in this crazy world?

“Keep your face to the sunshine and you can not see a shadow.” ~ Helen Keller

 

 

06Nov/16
road trip

The Road Trip

Aging, Life, ,

sometimes all you need is a full tank of gas and a good friend…or two…

road trip

ready for a little adventure…go on a road trip…

“Never go on trips with anyone you do not love.” ~ Ernest Hemingway

I think sometimes all we need to fix whatever ails our soul is a road trip. I love spending time with friends. I also like to see new places and experience things I have never experienced before. Doing all of these things together at the same time can sometimes be life changing. It all depends on who you brought along for the ride.

I’ve heard it said a time or two that it doesn’t matter where you go, it’s who you have beside you on your journey. I don’t know who said it but they were right. I don’t care if you are going on a road trip or just life in general, the people who are beside you on your journey can truly change your life. And having the “right” people with you can make all the difference.

Just this past week I went on a “road trip” to Virginia. A friend and I rode there together to a mutual friends house and stayed there for 3 days.  Our friend has a beautiful house in a lovely setting with a creek and woods behind it, which lends itself to wonderful sunrises and sunsets. We hiked, went sight seeing, visited wineries and of course we went out to eat. It was a wonderful time, beautiful weather and so much fun. But all of that aside, it was the two friends and the time we spent together that really made the trip special. It was the time we spent talking about our lives and the things going on in our lives that made this trip what it was. Amazing.

I loved visiting the wineries and doing wine tastings. We all enjoyed this and each of us liked different wines. I think friendships are kind of like fine wine. Sometimes the friendship has to sit a bit, has to age until it is ready. Ready to be what it was meant to be. This weekend showed me our friendship was ready. To have friends that you are able to share your deepest thoughts with and not be judged or fear it will be passed along to others is a rare thing these days. How many people can truly share their deepest secrets and not be afraid of how it will be taken or that one day you will have it come back to haunt you?

If you follow me(and you should, by the way) you know I write a lot about friendship. The reason why is because of how much I value the friends I have. Having lost so much family has made me value them even more. We all need friends. Some people only have one or two and that is fine. Even one true friend can make a difference in your life. I am blessed to have so many wonderful friends in my life. People who continually lift me up and help me through the hard times. I only hope I give some of that back. If I have given one small amount of what has been given to me than my life has been worth it.

After a long day of hiking and walking in the cool fall air we would sit at my friends kitchen table and chat about the things we did that day. Someone would bring up something funny we said or did and we would bust out laughing. This was the best part of the day. There we were, sitting there together eating apple streusel out of the bowl together and laughing. I looked around the table and fully realized what I had in these women.

As I drove home from my friends house I thought about the 3 days we spent together and I smiled the whole way home. What I gained from this trip can not be measured by how much fun I had in Virginia, and don’t get me wrong we had a lot of fun. What I gained from this road trip was how much my life had been enriched by simply spending time with these girls. I have spent time with them before, but I felt something different this time… something had changed. Maybe it was the one on one time we had together or maybe it is the fact we are getting older. But it felt like something had shifted. We are more like sisters than friends. We are joined together by something that can’t really be explained. Nor does it need to be.

Everyone should go on a road trip with a friend.. or two. Have you ever and where did you go?

” A journey is best measured in friends rather than miles.” ~ Tim Cahill

 

 

27Oct/16
traffic backed up

Top Ten Reasons I Hate Driving

Humor, Life, Rants, , ,

did I say how much I hate this…

traffic backed up

this is one reason…

I used to love driving, really I did, but that has changed now. Now there are too many cars on the road and too many people driving them that maybe shouldn’t be driving. Before you say anything, yes, my age may have something to do with my hatred of driving but I know a lot of people way younger than me that hate it too. Maybe I need a driver to go along with the pool boy I always wanted. By the way, I don’t have a pool but I’m sure I can think of some things to keep him busy. Back to the reason for this post…reasons I hate driving.

Here are my top ten…and believe me, I do have more than 10.

  1. Rude drivers – people who act like they are the only car on the road and everyone needs to just get out of their way. You see them coming and just move over so they can go by totally oblivious to anyone else being on the road. Because if you don’t get out of their way they will just run into you. I don’t think there’s a day that goes by lately that when I pull in my drive way after going somewhere, that I don’t just sit in my car for a few minutes and give thanks for making it home alive.
  2. Drivers who are texting or on their phones – here in my state as well as many others it is against the law to be on their phone but that sure doesn’t stop the ones I see every day texting or talking away. I actually saw a guy watching a movie on his iPad one day.
  3. Tailgaters – this one is high on my “hate list”. I especially hate when I am on a road that has more than one lane and the driver tailgating me can pass me, but doesn’t. It is like they are in the zone and don’t even know they are doing it until I slam on my brakes and wake them up. Yeah, I may or may not do that sometimes.
  4. Traffic – Is there anywhere you can go these days where there is no traffic? This is kind of a rhetorical question, because no.. it seems like there is traffic everywhere. Even the quaint little towns I used to love driving through because they didn’t have any, now do. Maybe this is due to the fact some huge builder is building homes there now because it is such a “quaint little town.”
  5. Maniacs – Well I’m not sure if they really are maniacs or not but they act like it. They weave back and forth in traffic thinking they are special and can pass everyone in the long line of traffic that is backed up the whole way for miles, only to end up a the same light or right beside you in the traffic line. I always look over and smile at them. It kinda helps pass the time.
  6. Dogs, Deer and Kids – Not especially in that order and I don’t hate them. I worry that they are going to run out in the street in front of my car when I see them alongside the road. I really worry about this. My reflexes aren’t what they used to be and I worry iI won’t be able to stop in time. And it’s not just the ones I mentioned. I don’t even want to hit a squirrel or skunk for that matter. Once there was this huge gathering of birds on the highway, traffic was in from of me, in back of me and beside me and I had no where to go but right through them. I felt there little bodies hitting under the car and it made me sick to my stomach. I didn’t even look in the rear view mirror.
  7. Driving at night – My night vision isn’t what it once was either, but really I never liked driving at night before when my vision was perfect. Come to think of it I really don’t like the dark. I like sunny days and daylight. Maybe it goes back to my childhood, who knows.
  8. Speed Limits – I am not complaining that we have them, I am saying no one bothers to follow them. I try, but it is difficult to drive the speed limit when everyone else is going 25 miles over it. Remember when we lowered the speed limit for safety and to conserve gas? I think that was why…but now they are constantly increasing it to 70 and even 80 in some areas. Do we really need to go that fast? Just leave in plenty of time and you will get there…and alive. And really it doesn’t matter what the speed limits are because no one goes the speed limit!! It is also hard to get off the ramp and onto these roads because you can’t really get up to 70 or 80 right off the bat and no one will let you in front of them because they are all speeding by at 90 miles an hour. So much for that safety thing.
  9. Getting to where I need to go – I don’t have a fancy car that has the map thingy that tells you where to go and when to turn. I used a friends “talking map thingy” once and it told me to turn where there wasn’t even a road. And I read all of the stories of people driving into ponds or oceans because it told them to do that. Not that I would do that by the way, but if it was dark I might not know the pond was there. Anyway, I don’t use one. I print out the map instructions and sometimes still get lost. And who is like me here, in that I turn the radio down when I am looking for the address or where to turn?? And what does that do? I still can’t find it.
  10. And last but certainly not least is Parallel Parking – I absolutely hate to do this and thank goodness we don’t have to very often these days. However should the occasion arise where I am in one of the ‘quaint little towns”, that is really the only way you can park. I will drive around for hours(well maybe 15 minutes) to find a place where I can just pull in. And in all other instances, I will use the parking decks. I will gladly pay rather than parallel park and hold up traffic with my back and forth trying to get in the space where there are SUV’s parked in front and back of me. What? They couldn’t make those spaces just a smidgen bigger??

I have heard that millennials don’t like driving either. They like living in the city so they can walk to work or take public transportation. I get it. I like living in my quaint little town, I can walk to the bank, post office and to get a cup of coffee in a few minutes time. I don’t like driving. I really like being a passenger. I like looking out the window and really seeing the landscape instead of staring straight ahead watching the maniac in front of me. Honestly, I just don’t like to drive anymore. It isn’t fun and in fact it is downright stressful. And who needs stress? I really do think I just need to get a driver. He can be best friends with the pool boy.

I leave you as always with a question and a quote. How do you feel about driving? I’d love to hear your comments.

“Baseball is a lot like driving, it’s the one who gets home safely that counts.” ~  Tommy Lasorda

20Oct/16
too many choices

Why Do We Have So Many Choices?

Life, Rants, ,

except in politics, but that’s another story….

too many choices

too many choices, I just can’t make a decision

I am really not just talking about shoes, although I may have a slight problem choosing the right ones especially when I go into one of those huge shoe stores. I’m talking about having just too many choices these days. I had a conversation with a friend this past weekend about music and groups and how when we were growing up we knew the names of all the groups and musicians. Now when we watch the awards shows on tv, 90% of the time we don’t know any of the nominees. I don’t think it’s because we are older, I think there are just so many of them that we don’t know who they all are. Speaking of tv, when we were young we had maybe 4 channels on the tv to choose from and that was enough, now I have several hundred and can’t find anything worth watching. I have channels I never even knew I had, nor do I know what is on them. Nor do I want to.

And it isn’t just tv or shoes. I go to the grocery store and am looking for a can of corn. I think there used to be maybe 2 or 3 kinds of corn. Del Monte and Green Giant quickly come to mind. Now there are rows and rows of corn to pick from. Some have salt, some don’t, some are organic, some aren’t, some aren’t even yellow. Some I don’t even know what kind of corn it is because I don’t understand what the label says. I looked and looked and until I finally just wanted to scream, “I just want a freakin can of corn.” I thought I was just thinking this in my head but maybe I really said it out loud because the woman next to me shielded her baby and zoomed off to the next aisle.

If you go to the beauty counter to get a red nail polish, there are 500 red nail polishes(that may be a slight exaggeration). Reddish brown, reddish purple, reddish red, red with a hint of black, red with a hint of gold. I just want to pick a bottle up and read the label and it says…”RED.” Is that too much to ask? Don’t even get me started on hair care products. Hair conditioners, mousse, shampoo and hair sprays. I can’t decide which one to use for my kind of hair. There is one for curly, there is one for dry hair, there is one for older women…well no there really isn’t but I’m surprised and then there is one for color treated(oops, now you know this blonde isn’t real). So which one should I pick? I stand there staring at them until my eyes get blurry and my head hurts and then I just get the same old one I always get. The one for curly hair. Maybe thats why my hair is so much more curly now.

Then there is clothing. And the color of the clothing. Recently, I needed a navy top to go under a sweater I bought that was white with navy stripes. Every navy top I got was the wrong shade of navy. How many shades of navy can there be you ask? Well the answer to that is at least 5 because I am now the proud owner of 5 different navy tops. And no, not one of them match my sweater. Why do we need so many shades of each color? We don’t need all these choices! And even with all the choices we have it is really hard to find just a plain ordinary beige top. Off white, cream colored. I needed this color as well as the navy one for under something and could not find one anywhere. Oh there were plenty of cream tops, racks of them in fact but they had a pocket or something lacy hanging out of the bottom or worse, had dolman sleeves..which doesn’t work too well under a jacket or sweater.

Do you know all the brands of cars there are today? I just saw a commercial for a new car and it was called Genesis. I thought, wow I never heard of that. I looked it up and it is Hyundai’s new luxury car. Wait, Hyundai has a luxury car…But seriously, when I was growing up, we basically had Chevys, Fords, Oldsmobile and Plymouths. Also there were a few cool sports cars. But I knew them all. When I would see one I could name it. Now I have no idea what car I am seeing in front of me on the road until I look at the name and even then I don’t know what it is.

When did all of this start? This “having so many choices” thing.. Do we really need all of these choices or does having too many of them just make us want more? Or does it make us throw up our hands and decide to not get anything at all? I don’t know the answer to those questions, but I do know this, if I finally do find a lipstick color or hair spray I love after the many hours and weeks of searching and trying one after another of them till I find it, someone somewhere in an office far away makes a decision that I shouldn’t use that color or hair spray anymore because they decide to discontinue it. Then the never ending search through the aisles and aisles of lipstick and hair spray begins anew. So I guess when all is said and done it really doesn’t matter how many choices we have.

What do you think? Do we have to many choices these days?

Here are a couple quotes about choices.

“Too many choices can overwhelm us and cause us to not choose at all. For businesses, this means that if they offer us too many choices, we may not buy anything.” ~ Sheena lyengar, Author of “The Art of Choosing.”

And I really like this one, and it can pertain to anything in life.

“We are our choices.” ~ J.P. Sartre

 

 

14Oct/16
Butterfly

Refinding My Joy

Life, , , ,

it was lost but now it’s found…

finding joy

find joy in the simple things

My word for 2016 was “joy.” I was going to find joy every day and try to make others happy and joyful too. It was a wonderful idea and I got some of my friends onboard with it as well. We shared our stories each and every day of how and where we were finding our joy. It was truly a wonderful goal, this whole “finding joy” thing was quite uplifting and hearing about everyone else’s joy made me even more joyful. That went on for a few months and then life somehow got in the way. My life wasn’t joyful anymore.

I decided this week to try and to “refind” my joy. I am bound and determined that it is out there, just waiting for me to rediscover it and allow it to once again come into my life. I want to be joyful. I need to feel happiness again. But I am also not a fool, I know every day can’t be just sunshine and joy. There is pain all around us and we can’t ignore it. But what we can do is find one thing every day that make us feel “JOY.”

In thinking about writing this I decided to look up some quotes about “joy.”  I was amazed by the ones I found and want to share 5 of them with you. They filled me with joy just reading them. I hope they will bring you some as well.

1.“Joy is prayer; joy is strength: joy is love; joy is a net of love by which you can catch souls.” ~ Mother Teresa

2. “Friendship improves happiness and abates misery, by the doubling of our joy and the dividing of our grief.” ~ Marcus Tullius Cicero ( I love this one by the way)

3. “Joy, rather than happiness, is the goal of life, for joy is the emotion which accompanies our fulfilling our natures as human beings. It is based on the experience of one’s identity as a being of worth and dignity.” ~ Rollo May

4. “A joyful heart is the normal result of a heart burning with love. She gives most who gives with joy.” ~ Mother Teresa

5. “Joy is a decision, a really brave one, about how you are going to respond to life.” ~ Wess Stafford

I love all of these, but that last one really made me stop and think. Doesn’t everything in life come down to this? It is really not about what life gives us or takes away. It is how we respond to it. We can find joy in simple things. The picture above of the butterfly brings me joy. Seeing butterflies in my garden makes me smile and brings me joy, my son loved them and I know he is sending them to us. I see joy in the faces of my grandchildren and I find it in the love my family and friends show me every day. And I know for sure that joy still dwells somewhere deep within my heart.

This is my goal for the remainder of 2016. I am going to find my joy again. I am going to embrace it and never let it go.

What brings you joy?