{"id":830,"date":"2019-01-17T12:17:57","date_gmt":"2019-01-17T17:17:57","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/helpfulhellion.com\/wordpress\/?p=830"},"modified":"2019-01-17T12:17:57","modified_gmt":"2019-01-17T17:17:57","slug":"what-i-want-this-year","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/helpfulhellion.com\/wordpress\/?p=830","title":{"rendered":"What I Want This Year…"},"content":{"rendered":"

my word for this year is Serenity…<\/strong><\/em><\/p>\n

<\/strong><\/p>\n

\"\"<\/a>

Calm, quiet and serene…<\/p><\/div>\n

My word for 2019 is \u201cserenity\u201d… to me it means calm, quiet and peaceful, and when I googled it…it said, \u201cnoun..the state of being calm, peaceful, and serene.\u201d I need to feel this. I need to feel peaceful. \u00a0I have been feeling anxious quite a bit lately and that is so not like me. I usually do not dwell on things or let the small things bother me. My motto has always been to not worry about things that \u201ccould\u201d happen. But now I seem to worry about everything and anything.<\/p>\n

I over think and dwell on the \u201cwhat ifs.\u201d I have never been that person before so I don\u2019t know how to deal with this. I was always the person who told others when they would be worried about something…\u201dwhen you are 90 and sitting in your rocker on the porch, will this even matter\u201d.. I think that is a good barometer for testing whether it is truly something you should worry about or leave it go. But evidently I don\u2019t listen to myself anymore. At least not the self that gives me good advice.<\/p>\n

Worrying has never solved one single problem. I know that to be a fact, my brain knows it, my heart knows it…so why can\u2019t I stop? I\u2019ve thought about this for quite a while and told myself, this isn\u2019t you, why are you doing this? What changed to make you be like this? The simple answer and the only one I can come up with…my son died. If that can happen…anything can happen.<\/p>\n

\u201cSerenity is not freedom from the storm, but peace amid the storm.\u201d ~ Unknown<\/strong><\/em><\/p>\n

I\u2019m not sure if my son\u2019s untimely death is totally to blame, but it surely plays a part in my new way of looking at life. I never expected to lose a child, much less to suicide, so if this can happen…anything can happen. Bad things \u201ccan\u201d happen. Any time, to anyone!<\/p>\n

That makes me anxious! That makes me worry. I worry about my daughters, I worry about my grandchildren, I worry about my friends. If I text someone and they dont text back, I immediately think something bad has happened to them….they must be lying in a ditch by the side of the road somewhere. I know this is crazy and I know my family and friends think I\u2019m crazy but I cant help it. I care…I worry!<\/p>\n

My house is a constant source of worry also. Having been built in 1892 there is always something going wrong, something to worry about. My son could fix everything and did. Now I have to find someone to fix things. I have over time found people and there have been many good friends that have helped with this. But it is still a constant source of worry. And one I need to figure out. \u00a0It\u2019s easy to find people to fix \u201cthings\u201d…I wish I could find someone to fix me!<\/p>\n

\u201dSerenity is knowing that your worst shot is still pretty good.\u201d ~ Johnny Miller<\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n

So dear family and friends, if I annoy you with my questions and worry please forgive me. I care about you. I don\u2019t want to lose you. My hope is that 2019 will bring me what I need. I walk everyday and have started walking further and faster. It brings me a sense of peace and clears my mind. Maybe I should be like Forrest Gump and just keep walking…walking until I finally find peace of mind!<\/p>\n

And now you know the reasons behind my word of the year. I need to feel calm. I need to feel peace. I need to feel serene…<\/p>\n

\u201dDon\u2019t underestimate the power of humor and the ability to laugh at yourself to deliver peace and serenity.\u201d ~ Charles F Glassman<\/strong><\/em><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

my word for this year is Serenity… My word for 2019 is \u201cserenity\u201d… to me it means calm, quiet and peaceful, and when I googled it…it said, \u201cnoun..the state of being calm, peaceful, and serene.\u201d IRead More…<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":831,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[215,257],"tags":[515,516,517],"class_list":["post-830","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-aging","category-life","tag-my-word","tag-serenity","tag-word-of-the-year"],"yoast_head":"\nWhat I Want This Year... - The Helpful Hellion<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"http:\/\/helpfulhellion.com\/wordpress\/?p=830\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"What I Want This Year... - 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