believe me its never ending….
It is really a constant source of amusement or amazement(not sure if that’s a word) working in retail. At least where I work. People have said I should just do a weekly column about this but I don’t want you to get bored with it so I will do one every now and then…especially when I have a bunch of good ones to tell you. Here are some from the past week.
1. The apron in the picture – not sure if the person said, “the hell with this job” and hung it there as they left…or they just wanted to air it out. Believe me when I say I am grateful I work in the perfume department as a lot of people walking by really need it!
2. Man who was a little confused – a very strange man came up to the counter and asked how much the perfume was that was sitting there. He wanted to know much the bottle was by itself and how much the set was…I told him the prices. My co worker walked up and he asked her the very same question. She told him what I had just told him. He then looks at both of us and says..”Oh, ok…I need to go I’m a little high.” and off he goes. Leaving the two of us standing there looking at each other like did this really just happen?? And yes…yes it did!
3. Girl on phone – now this is not different or strange in that someone was on the phone while shopping and asking questions while trying to talk to me about perfume…this happens all the time. Sometimes I will ignore them and they look at me and say “excuse me I was asking you a question”…to which I give my standard reply…”Oh, I’m sorry I thought you were talking to the person on the phone and I was waiting until you were finished”….However in this instance what was different and strange was that she was on 2 phones at the same time…. she was texting on one and talking on the other one. I can barely talk or text on mine while shopping and she was doing all three at the same time. Is this what is known as amiphonedexterous…I just made this word up…but it should definitely be a word.
4. Question at the Clinique counter – my coworker at the Clinique counter told me this one…(my friends there now know I write about these things and give me some of their favorites to use) a customer asked her if she bought the Clinique foundation could she get the Lancome free gift???? What?
5. What happened at Starbucks? – Now I know this didn’t happen in my store but it was right outside the door at Starbucks so I can count it. I need a break every so often and go get a cup of coffee… a woman in front of me bought $37 worth of Starbucks for her and her 3 children….really?? and they were little kids…do they really know the difference between a drink at McDonalds and Starbucks…
“When everything’s coming your way, you’re in the wrong lane.” ~ Steven Wright
6. Strange woman – I’ve had a lot of weird people come by the perfume counter in my almost 15 years in the business….but this one was one of the weirdest. A woman walks up and is staring at the perfume in front of her. I asked if I could help her find a perfume…she responds to my question by picking up the bottle in front of her and sprays it up her crotch… then she slams it back down on the counter, looks at me with a very mean scary look and walks away. Alrighty then….
7. Weird cosmetic question – I’d like to return this $4 eyebrow sharpener…where do I go….loaded question…I said I really don’t know…I don’t work here…
8. Man looking for a particular fragrance but didn’t know the name – This happens a lot…people come up and say I don’t know the name but I know the bottle if I see it…so the guy says this to me and says I will just walk around and look for it. He comes running back up to me all excited and says, “I found it!” I said oh good, do you want it…to which he replies…”no, but I found it.” I know I always have the same look on my face when these things happen and a co worker will come over and ask…”what now?”
9. Channel 5 – people are always asking for Channel…it is very popular and all the ads on tv make it even more popular…the thing that gets me even with all the advertising is people still continue to call it…Channel 5 or just where is the Channel…I always say which Channel do you want…just to be a smart ass…but of course they don’t get it…it just gives me a tiny bit of pleasure to say it…
10. Coconut Chanel – while we are on the Chanel channel….this happened yesterday. A customer asked for Coconut Chanel instead of Coco Chanel…sorry if you don’t think its funny….but for us who work retail….you get your laughs where you can in our world…
By the way all the computers were down in our world for most of the afternoon yesterday and we couldn’t accept credit cards…not even the store credit card…people had to pay cash….CASH! Do you even know what kind of commotion this caused and how many sales we lost? Who carries cash? Evidently not many people…
Well I must go back in there again so I have to go get ready…. here is my question for you…Have you ever worked retail…and what was the funniest or stupidest thing that you ever had happen? And please…wish me luck today…
“If you don’t know where you are going, you might wind up someplace else.” ~ Yogi Berra
21 thoughts on “Weird Things I Saw At Work…Part 3”
My daughter has some doozies. She worked in PetSmart. You can’t believe the number of people who come into the store empty-handed. Pick up something off a shelf and bring it to the checkout to return with an, “I’m sorry but i couldn’t find the receipt!” One a day at least!
OMG! That is ridiculous…and I’m sure happens more often than we even know….
I love this series, probably because I haven’t worked retail in many, many years. But a close family member does. How about a holiday special?
Ok, Alana…just for you. I will do a holiday special…LOL! And I am so happy you enjoy it!
Renee these are good ones! My company is retail and many of my customers read my blog so I can’t do a top ten weird ass requests but I have one from last week and I bet you get some of these. A guy calls and says he wants to buy a nightgown for a friend. He is not sure about size. I ask about height and weight just to narrow it down and he tells me this friend is lonely because her husband is out of town 2-3 days a week and the 3 of them are good friends.He asks me if I think it is weird for him to buy her a nightgown? Hello? Not as weird as crotch spraying woman but I suggested an Amazon gift card.
Haralee, that was a good one.. and yes, a gift card is better…LOL!
And here I was thinking that working on a perfume counter would be on the wish list of most retail assistants. Now you’re making it sound a lot less appealing – crotch sprayers and drugged customers makes it all really weird. Maybe it’s because your counter is more frontline than a lot of other sales areas??? I don’t work in retail – I do reception for a surgeon and the amount of people who think I can diagnose them over the phone and suggest whether they need surgery or not, never ceases to amaze me – I’m the RECEPTIONIST for goodness sake!
I know Leanne…people are just weird no matter where we work…if you come in contact with the public get ready for the weirdness…somehow though it does make my life a little more interesting…
Ooookay, perfume crotch lady. Wow.
I knew you would like that one Michelle….LOL..
When I stocked shelves at Giant, it was quite entertaining. The tall slim “guy” who would stroll the aisles with pencil skirt, stilettos, every hair in place of his perfectly coiffed long hair complete with the flip. Ok….I’m probably just jealous cause I can’t walk very well in stilettos. Too many butt cracks to keep count…guys and gals. UGH!! Ya know, it truly amazes me how many young mothers are plying their young uns with Starbucks coffee drinks!! Not just the cost, but such an early addiction!! I do like your new word. You should have told the crotch sprayer that it doesn’t kill crotch crickets. hahaha Keep ’em comin’….we all need the laughs.
Glad you enjoyed this Peg and I’m sure you could write a book about your time there….And you are right, we all need the laughs….going back in there today…who knows what will happen today…
Interesting post. The phone situation illustrates our gripes in a previous post. As for the apron, the song “Take this job and shove it” comes to mind. Retail has the ability to bring out the eccentricities in everyone; they become more manifest in the holiday season. As for the guy who wanted to get high, did not know that Timothy Leary was still among us. Such is life.
Yes Andy Life can be very strange sometimes….thanks as always for your comments!
It’s almost as bad as being a nurse….almost! Everyday we hear about something that cracks us up. People! This is why I prefer animals LOL
True Vicki, it is way too peoply out there these days…
Hahaha. Ambiphonedextorous should definitely be a word. I love these and could definitely read them every week.
Yes, it should be and thank you so much for reading and commenting Barbara!
LOL, this gave me a chuckle. Especially the lady spraying her crotch, bhahaha. And No, I never worked retail…They’re DIRE me fast with my smart ass remarks, lol.
Oops that was FIRE ME
Yeah, I can’t see you in retail…LOL