Monthly Archives: May 2015

28May/15

“What Do You Want To Be When You Grow Up?”

How often did you hear that as a kid?

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When I was a young girl about the age I was in this picture, people started asking me the question, “What do you want to be when you grow up?” I never hesitated even for a second. I always said I want to be a nurse, for no other reason than my Aunt Norma was one and I thought that she was very cool. Also, I loved my doctor and I watched Dr Kildare. What did I really know about nursing or what a nurse really did? But it looked very exciting and romantic on tv.

Around the same time I started writing a novel. It was called “I Walk Alone” and was set in Paris. I was the lead character, of course, and also, of course I was beautiful, tall and fashionable. And had long straight hair. None of which I had or was in real life. I met a man(in my novel) and he was handsome, rich, famous and mysterious. And he lived in Paris. I have never met a man who was any of these things in my life with the exception of mysterious and believe me, that is not a good trait in a man for which you want to form a relationship. Ok, I have had a few boyfriends and a husband that you could call handsome or at the very least cute.

I never finished the book. I found it recently as we were going through things in my parents home. I found all my writing materials. They were all in a box in my parents attic. My past desire and childhood dreams all together in one box. The children’s books I wrote when my kids were little. Books I had tried desperately to get published to no avail. I took a “Writing Children’s Literature” course and thought surely I was going to be the next Dr. Seuss.

Sadly, the being “the next Dr. Seuss” thing never happened. My kids loved the stories and still talk about them to this day. So guess it was worth it. Sadly, life got in the way of my dream of being an award winning novelist, as life has been known to do. By this time, I had gotten divorced and 3 kids and as many jobs didn’t lend itself to much time for writing. But finding the box that day brought it all back. The hopes, the dreams..the book signings.

I am finally writing now, some 50 years after that first novel I attempted to write. Not to be a best selling novelist or the next Dr. Seuss, but for me. I write because I love to write and because it fulfills something deep inside me that has always wanted to get out. I don’t know, maybe it’s a need to be “heard”. Really heard..

Growing up I don’t think my parents ever really listened to me when I talked or spoke of my dreams. In reality I don’t think they had the time or they just really didn’t know how.  I have always tried to listen to my family and friends and even to just anyone who was talking to me. Maybe my ability to listen has given me the ability to write. I know I have a million stories inside me waiting to get out. And I am thankful I can finally do just that!

As a side note, I am glad I didn’t become a nurse. I don’t think I would have been a good one.. I am not a fan of blood and gore and all the stuff that goes along with nursing..and honestly, white has never been my color.

What do you want to be when you grow up?

21May/15

What Are You Waiting For???

Why are we waiting for that magical “Someday”…..

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Waiting…

 

Why do we wait to do the things we want to do? What is it that makes us think we have all the time in the world and that “maybe someday” we will actually do it?

It’s not just waiting to go somewhere, it’s also waiting for that day to arrive when we will wear that perfect dress or outfit we have hanging in the closet for years and the cute pair of shoes we got to go with it. I have an adorable top I got a few years ago and every time I go through things to donate or sell at a yard sale I leave it hanging, because it’s just perfect for that special occasion “someday”. That top and the cute little pair of heels I got to go with it are there ready to go, fresh as the day I bought them. Well, not quite as fresh…

Maybe your “someday” thing is a trip to somewhere far away or just traveling this great country of ours. You constantly say I want to see the Grand Canyon or I am going to drive the California coast “someday”. I can honesty say I have visited most of the places in our country I have wanted to see, for the most part. However, I do still have a few things that remain on my bucket list.

I would like to rent an RV and travel across America and stop wherever and whenever I want with no time schedule or planned itinerary. I also have a few places I want to see abroad, places such as Paris, Greece and Tuscany. Yes, I have seen “Under The Tuscan Sun” so many times I can say the lines along with Frances. I picture myself in her beautiful home and I look just like her. Someday, I will go and when I do, maybe I can wear my special top and shoes…

Sometimes it’s something we have always wanted to do, like play an instrument, learn another language, write the next great american novel. I want to do all of these things. I am so happy that I have finally have started to write, not sure if a novel is ever in my future, but I’m doing it. The piano, I’m sorry to say, is in the upstairs bedroom. It’s there waiting for that special someday when I decide to learn how to play. And by the way, Italian is a really hard language to learn.

The saddest someday of all isn’t about places or things, it’s about people. Those very special people in our lives we love, our family and friends. Maybe we will call them, maybe we will visit them, maybe someday. They are very special to us and we really mean to see them more, but somehow life gets in the way and we put it off.  Don’t. Sometimes someday never comes. This has been a priority of mine lately. I try and see or talk to the people I care about as much as possible. And I constantly let them know how much they mean to me.

I’m sure most of you have a bucket list of things you want to do and places you want to go. I see some of my friends posts on Facebook, and they are going places and doing things and I am very happy for them. They are doing it, they aren’t waiting for the magical, mythical “someday”. Now, I know a lot of people will say, “I would, but I don’t have the money to do the things I really want to do”. But my answer is this…somehow, someway you can. You will find a way to make the things you really want happen. If there is one thing I have learned in this life, it’s that.

What do you want to do? Where do you want to go? And what are you waiting for?

 

 

 

12May/15

Excuse Me….

Are manners obsolete?

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When was the last time someone held the door for you? I don’t care if you are a woman or a man, if you are walking out and someone is behind you, it is common courtesy to hold the door for that person. I am actually shocked now when someone does it and it has become the rare occasion and is no longer the norm. Has anyone said thank you to you, with the exception of the cashier at the grocery store and they get paid to do it and even then sometimes don’t. What about, “excuse me” if they bumped into you by mistake? When was the last time a stranger smiled at you, if they happened to look up from their phone or the sidewalk as they walk along in their many journeys.

I am very upset about all of this and feel people in general have gotten increasingly rude over the last few years. Granted, working retail has not helped with my view of the situation. And I feel we have created this “monster” customer due to the stores giving in to all their demands. If they don’t like something or feel they have been treated unfairly they call and complain and the stores give them free merchandise or money back. People know this and take advantage of it. If you look at someone the wrong way they report it to management. The consumer is all about getting something for nothing. I’m all for getting the best deal and looking out for myself as anyone that knows me knows this, but there is a line. And I think we have crossed it.

It is always the same scenario every time I go shopping lately…I am happily looking at racks of tops or shelves full of beautiful shoes and out of the blue someone wants to see the exact top or shoe I am looking at. Ok, thats fine, I will just go to another aisle and look at handbags. No one is in this aisle. I start looking and immediately 4 other people come up and stand around me wanting to look at the exact same bag I am looking at. I must have great taste. Well I do, but that’s another story.. This happens every single time I go shopping, doesn’t mater where, what city or what store.

I am used to this by now and used to the fact that no one says excuse me or sorry if I have to move out of “their” way. But my recent “bad” shopping experience tops all the others I have ever had and that’s saying a lot. I was in a store last weekend and happily looking at some soaps and items on a shelf, when all of a sudden I was surrounded by 3 women of various ages. I think maybe a mother and 2 daughters. I continued to look, I thought maybe if I ignored them they would go away. But that didn’t happen..This did..One of the women reached over top of my head and actually bumped me on the head to pick up something from the shelf. I couldn’t believe this even happened, not to mention no one said I’m sorry or excuse me or anything at all. I picked up my item and slammed my cart into theirs and said loudly, “I’m sorry, I’m evidently in “your” way. I’ll go!” I couldn’t help myself, it just came out. I was “mad as hell and not going to take it anymore”. To my amazement, they all looked shocked and one of them said sweetly and with an honest, sincere look on her face, “Oh, you’re not in our way.” Really..

I mentioned this to my friends later that evening and asked them, ‘is it just me or are people getting ruder?”(not sure if this is a word, but it should be) Every single one of them agreed..and loudly agreed, even the ones I didn’t expect to since they are always so nice and not like me who lets this kind of thing bother me. One of the girls even shared a story that had recently happened to her while shopping.. She had been carrying a top around because she didn’t get a cart and a woman came up to her and said, “are you going to get that?” Of course she was, even if she didn’t want it, she was now…

So often I have had these encounters and when called out, people seemingly are oblivious about the fact they are doing these things. They truly look shocked and some do say, “oh, sorry”. It is as if everyone is in their own little world and that world is all that matters. You have to shock them back into reality and only then do they see what they are doing. I can’t be the only person to notice this and I hope it’s not because I’m getting old and remember a time when people were nice to each other. I also remember when a person smiled back at you if you smiled at them and most of the time, even said hello.

So what is wrong with people? What happened to create this environment? And how do we go about changing this? What stories do you have to share?

And don’t even get me started about angry, crazy drivers, that is for another day.

 

 

 

05May/15

Friends Till the End….

Together on this roller coaster called life.

 

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I just returned from my annual “Girlfriends Weekend” in Bethany Beach. We have been doing this for almost 20 years now and each one is special and never the same. While it is nice to visit the beach and get away, this weekend is always so much more than that.

The annual event has taken on a life of its own. We have many rituals and then there is always something new that I take away from it and this year was no different. We all look forward to it so much all year long. A few times there may be someone who can’t make it and someone new who goes along. This was one of the years a few people didn’t make it. My best friend just moved away and wasn’t able to come as well as my 2 daughters who have been coming for quite awhile. I needed space to figure out what all of this change meant and the girls gave me that time alone. But they were there when I needed them.

We have a great time together. We eat, we drink, we shop (boy, do we shop) but more than that, we talk. Intimate stories of our lives are shared and we are never afraid that this will be repeated. “What is said in Bethany, stays in Bethany”. All of us have gone through similar times, with the deaths of parents, divorces, family issues, children and grandchildren. We also talk of silly stuff and things I guess all women do, but we talk about things that matter to us. Someone will have gone through it and will have advice to give.

We have shed a few tears over the years as well. One year in particular a friend couldn’t make the trip due to her Mother being very ill. We would call and text and send pictures so she felt as though she was there. At dinner one night she texted us that her Mother had passed. We made a toast to her and it was maybe the quietest dinner we ever had.

Most of the time though, we are laughing as we share stories on body issues and menopause and other female things that come up in the conversations. Seems like we never get away without at least one of the never ending stories of someone’s poop problem (or lack thereof). On this recent trip I ran into one friend in the hallway and she had pulled up her shirt and was looking at her stomach. I stopped and asked her what she was doing. She said she had all these “things” on her body now. Skin tags, moles, sunspots, hard spots, you name it, with new ones coming on a daily basis. I was so happy!! I couldn’t believe it. I hugged her and told her I loved her and said, “thank you, I thought I was the only one that had these, you just made my day”.

The support of this group of women is amazing. Most times you hear when women get together especially for a long period of time, they are gossipy, jealous and always trying to one up each other. Not these women. We support each other completely and know full well if needed, one if not all of them would be there.

And so we all got up early Sunday morning to pack and hit the road for home once again. We hugged and made our annual promise to get together more than once a year. I don’t know if any of us will or not but I do know one thing..should I ever need anyone for anything, these women are there for me.

This makes me wonder….I know men have get togethers. They go on golf, hunting, fishing trips together and I’m sure they have lots of fun. But do they share these kind of memories and stories with each other? I sure hope they do.